Thanks, guys. I apologize if my "actually" seemed snitty- I see how it could be taken that way after re-reading it. I guess I should have followed it up with...

Actually, I did test it and it works great. I tested it on a table with almost 4 million rows and it only took a minute or two.

Here's another approach:

http://iso30-sql.blogspot.com/2010/10/remove-non-printable-unicode-characters.html