I used to do outer joins like *= and was resistant to using ANSI syntax even though my DBA strongly recommended it.

Then one day I had a query that would...

I've always used sp_columns table_name. I see that sp_mshelpcolumns table_name is very similar.

They have done the same thing at my job and it doesn't work. We've outsourced our network operations, and the "other guys" have all the access to all the...

Hmmm. I was writing a reply but it disappeared. So now there may be two from me. I don't think this is the originality you're looking for...