How much total memory does each machine have? What are the minimum & maximum memory settings in SQL Server (right-click the server in SSMS & select Memory)?

Do servers only have...

Bare metal or VMs?

Network specs?

Where is the file? Local hard disk/SAN/other? Are the drives configured identically? Have you benchmarked/ & compared performance for the drives from which you're pulling the...

"If it's so bad, Microsoft will improve on it, just as Microsoft fixed the notorious message 8152, "String or binary data would be truncated" for SQL 2016 SP2(+CU?) or later."

So...

I used the below, which calls 1 million times (required catch block to be executable), and couldn't get a null (I assume that's what you meant by not always returning...

Previous Generation Instances lists i2 and r3 instances.

This should generate alter statements without using a cursor.

You will probably need to filter out system tables. Print to see the results before executing.  If you can do it reliably in...

Do you mean DT_BYTES (byte array), or byte type (single-byte equivalent of a tinyint)?

Eight bytes definitely won't fit in a one-byte type (Byte).

Do a select using CAST(rowversion AS BIGINT)...

https://github.com/GuerrillaAnalytics/similarity is an updated version of the SimMetrics CLR assembly I've used for years.

You got feedback (and a little sass) from some very experienced and talented database experts who have a lot of wisdom to impart. But occasionally the experts vent a little...

AT TIME ZONE returns datetimeoffset. Take off the cast and it will show you that it is treating it as UTC.

"When inputdate is provided without offset information, the function applies...

You need two other "tables":

• A Calendar table, as you've suggested, or the equivalent generated set of dates (e.g., using a Tally function and DATEADD). Search should provide plenty of...

It doesn't just happen -- Somebody (e.g., editing table in SSMS or applying changes via a compare tool) or some process (e.g., SQL Agent job) is doing it.

You can track...

Check the auto-close property on the relevant databases -- it defaults to on with SQL Server Express.

SELECT name,is_auto_close_on FROM sys.databases 
WHERE is_auto_close_on = 1 AND name =...