Dell XPS 13 if you want ultimate light weight and portability.... XPS 15 if you spend a ton of time at it and need the bigger screen.

I drive an external...

You are absolutely correct. SSIS is a non starter.

From SSMS, I should be able to import and export CSV and excel, simply and directly.

The export is...

CSV... how about even supporting MS's own Excel standard?  In SSMS, why can't I Save a result set as xls/xlsx with properly typed columns?

Like what is discussed here:...