You might also want to use BCP instead.  BCP can now have a query specified instead of a table name for source and can then output in tab delimited format.

Also,...

inserted/updated tables are just views of the log.  when you want to update the value in the record, update against the real table name joining to "inserted" to identify which...

and if you're worried about any raiserrors going to the client you can use the old fashioned ugly DOS means:

declare @err int

exec @err = master..xp_cmdshell 'osql -Smyserver -Usa -Pgod -Q"set...

Actually, that is a myth, however, the closer the keyword is to the start of the line (fewer indents/spaces), the sooner it will get executed by the processor.  The same is...

one more time rocky:

CASE WHEN colname = "X" THEN "Yes" ELSE "No" END as newcolname

BTW: do you have infinite jest and excellent fancee?

check out the case statement

CASE

As I recall the cast is going to bypass any indexing for that column anyway so why not use a case?

AND case when isnumeric(code) = 1 then cast(code as int)...

Last time I checked, what enterprise manager does with fundamental modifications like this is rename the table create new table and copy the records back in then drop the old. ...

Simplify:

select a.itemid, a.attributename, a.value

  from @fulltable a

       LEFT OUTER JOIN @subtable b ON a.attributename = b.attributename

 where b.attributename is null

    OR a.value = b.value

Back in the old days when we used stone knives and bear skins we didn't have these fancy schmancy text editors ad IDE's that color coded syntax.

The programmer actually had...

You need to wrap a begin and end around the "then" part of the if statement and put the goto after the rollback .  However, the safest method of nesting...

Here's a crude function I use alot.  (Posted as a script contribution this AM):

E.G. select dbo.string_field( namecolumn, ' ', 1 ) AS first_name, dbo.string_field( namecolumn, ' ', 2 ) AS middle_name,...

Use...

Use cowboyferrier's method, and write it as a UDF (assuming you're on 2000).

Then in a select you can say:

SELECT name, dbo.myUDF_get_val_list( primarykeyhere ) AS val_list FROM tablename...

Then this can be...

The fact that microsoft offers clustered indexes (and performance/tuning tips and tricks, etc. to make use of these)  belies your statement. 

Hey, I used to teach the courses which provided...

Well this is what the microsoft ratbastards passing themselves off as product developers excel at: changing fundamental functionality from version to version and causing people to have to go back...