Yes, extended property for MS_DESCRIPTION.

It can be available through sys.extended_properties. I thought that why to query sys tables. It should available through Metadata function.

Nice question, thanks Steve,

I am in search of any metadata function that retrieves column description.

Very useful function for "Status"  column.

thanks Nakul Vachhrajani for return type testing.

Thanks Jeff.

I will post few of my performance issues in same thread which are probably due to fragmentation and page split (or due to GUID). Perhaps you suggestion can help...

Can I check proactively that any Insert/Update will cause page split.

Execution plan changes with column in WHERE clause but physical join type remains the same.

I used to have similar situation with linked server. Later we implement SSIS solution and observed significant performance gain. 
I suggest go for SSIS.

How different containers (docker) from virtual machine.

I wan't aware about COMPRESS function.
Thanks for question. Also with this question I revised various data compression algorithms.  
But I am amazed to see that it supports only GZIP algorithm.

I tried below example from w3schools.com and getting an error. 

Example:
thistuple = ("apple", "banana", "cherry")
thistuple[1] = "blackcurrant"
# The values will remain the same:
print(thistuple)

Result:
>>> thistuple...

Even I am facing the same issue where SQL Server consuming a few memory. 
Found below but need concert reasons as I am dealing with Production systems.  
https://www.sqlpassion.at/archive/2011/11/04/why-sql-server-is-using-so-less-memory/

I think backup the System-level Databases, and restore them after your database.

Nice and Easy Script. 
But,
The sp_change_users_login is deprecated procedure. sp_change_users_login cannot be used with SQL Database.
Below is article to Troubleshoot Orphaned Users (SQL Server)
https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/sql-server/failover-clusters/troubleshoot-orphaned-users-sql-server