Did you miss a big point?  There is actually a very good reason to name a specific column!

If you don't have access to every single column in the table then...

First I'll applogize for having edited this comment so much.  I hope it didn't cause headaches for those who monitor.  I thoroughly appreciate all of you.

I've found a...

I believe I see some pieces of this puzzle that nobody has pointed out.  The first is a bug in your CLR, although it's one you are unlikely to ever trip.