found the bug, in the SQL Server users there was a user with the same login/pass as a user in the Database users section. The SQL Server user was...

http://support.cox.com/sdccommon/asp/contentredirect.asp?sprt_cid=643ad749-1a58-4824-9d1c-8cd5579e132a

.... well there you go.... blocked by the isp

thanks for the help everyone

traffic history:

ping comes back from the correct ip address, DNS and ping reply success.

then i send out NBNS (netbios to port 137) packets, then a TCP packet to port microsoft-ds...

i got ethereal (winpcap) to capture network traffic. the last captured packet is repeated 3 times going out on UDP to port ms-sql-m (1434), which i assume is the...

i checked to make sure it wasn't windows firewall.

nestat -a shows that the computer is listening on that port.

does it matter what port it is?

**edit

also, my client computer is running...