July 10, 2012 at 11:58 pm
Comments posted to this topic are about the item Why It's Good To Be Wrong
Hakim Ali
www.sqlzen.com
July 11, 2012 at 1:25 am
I agree, the problem is sometimes even though I know I'm wrong I persist in being 'right', why I'm not sure. Sometimes you get the reverse, somebody says your wrong and you readily admit it only to find you were right later after the event.
July 11, 2012 at 2:19 am
This is a fundamental in my own life - discovered by struck of luck in my youth.
In school, all standing in a group around a subject, I made a remark regarding this or that.
The teacher looked amused and corrected me - the inevitable muted giggle spread -
and to resurrect myself I claimed:
"I prefer being wrong, thus I have learned two things: one; that what I thought was right is wrong - and two: what is actually correct."
July 11, 2012 at 2:53 am
The trouble is that all too many people take a stance without making sure of their ground. If you say "this is so" when what you mean is "I think this is so", you've volunteered for the ridicule of being wrong.
It's important to state things categorically when you're certain, and just as important to highlight when you're uncertain. That way, people know where they stand. No-one minds you being wrong with best guess, but they do mind being strung along. If they know they can trust you to say when you're sure and when you're not, they'll respect your assurances all the more. And if, as Hakim said in his article, you're happy to publicly admit when you're wrong, they'll respect you still more, since they can trust your assurances are based on considered opinion rather than ego.
Thought-provoking editorial; thank you.
Semper in excretia, suus solum profundum variat
July 11, 2012 at 2:56 am
I definintely take it as a sign of strength or character to hold your hand up when wrong. This is a sign of experience and confidence in your abilities.
Sadly it just happens so rarely to me 😉 (j/k)
July 11, 2012 at 4:20 am
I absolutely agree with Steve's article. But there is another side to this coin: when someone else is wrong, we need to treat that in a helpful light too. It's so much easier to accept a lesson learned if it is learned in a helpful atmosphere: without risk of criticism, disdain or even ridicule. In this way we can encourage others to learn from their mistakes and help our situation become one where everyone can accept these 'learning opportunities" (our own, or others') rather than deny them.
This of course with the caveat that mistakes need to be recognised, not congratulated. I said "helpful" twice above rather than "positive". In particular, a repeated mistake means the lesson wasn't learned, and an ignored mistake is another mistake waiting to happen.
July 11, 2012 at 5:00 am
Sadly, I think part of the problem is another human trait; the ridicule of those who are wrong.
It's even evident on this site. Just look at a whole host of QotD posts, and you'll see stuff like "Good, back to basics question" and "I can't believe x% got this wrong" - all subtle little digs at those who may be wrong.
I think this is one reason why people worry about being wrong and therefore try to protect their "being right" beyond what is reasonable.
Still, I'm happy to be proved wrong 🙂
July 11, 2012 at 5:26 am
david.wright-948385 (7/11/2012)
But there is another side to this coin: when someone else is wrong, we need to treat that in a helpful light too. It's so much easier to accept a lesson learned if it is learned in a helpful atmosphere: without risk of criticism, disdain or even ridicule.
Great point, thank you for raising that, I had not so much considered that particular perspective.
Hakim Ali
www.sqlzen.com
July 11, 2012 at 5:39 am
Excellent post, and one that really struck a chord with me.
I, too, take delight in being wrong, for pretty much the reasons that Hakim outlined. But there is another side to it. If you're known to admit when you've been wrong, and willing to state "This is my current opinion, as opposed to a firm belief I won't budge from," people may well end up valuing your input more. Even in brute survival terms, that's a win.
July 11, 2012 at 6:51 am
There are plenty of things I'd love to be proven wrong about....
...
-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers --
July 11, 2012 at 7:06 am
We learn from our mistakes; some of the dumbest people I know have never been wrong.
July 11, 2012 at 7:38 am
Ewald Cress (7/11/2012)
Excellent post, and one that really struck a chord with me.I, too, take delight in being wrong, for pretty much the reasons that Hakim outlined. But there is another side to it. If you're known to admit when you've been wrong, and willing to state "This is my current opinion, as opposed to a firm belief I won't budge from," people may well end up valuing your input more. Even in brute survival terms, that's a win.
Ewald, I am sitting here laughing because I said the same thing "really struck a chord with me....." , when I forwarded this editorial to one of my team members. I am a Type A personality and I will readily admit that I don't like being wrong, both personally and professionally, however Hakim makes very valid points and quite honestly made me look at how I dealt with being wrong.
Recently before I read this article, I used this principle but applied it to making mistakes. It is okay to make mistakes, because it creates an opportunity to learn something you might not know or possibly a different facet of something you already did.
Hakim, thanks for the editorial; good read.
July 11, 2012 at 8:06 am
Terriffic point! I can hardly imagine how much a team could learn if everyone on it had that same idea.
July 11, 2012 at 8:11 am
I see that there is no harm in being wrong. However, just becuase someone say I am wrong doesn't mean I will accept it at face value. I will say let me check on that and confirm what they say is correct or not. I will willing accept it if they are or if it is questionable as query performance can sometimes be in SQL Server I will test it several ways and conceed if it is proven. I have no trouble being wrong and don't mind being called on it in an open form.
The same goes with arguements with the wife, she get's very mad with me becuase I won't just accept she is right if I feel she is incorrect or proof needs to be given. Those moments are the worst, she goes on how I am arguementative and always have to be right and I have to rein her in by reminding her arguements require more thsan one person, and two no one should ever just conceed on face value unless they know the other person is right.
July 11, 2012 at 8:12 am
david.wright-948385 (7/11/2012)
But there is another side to this coin: when someone else is wrong, we need to treat that in a helpful light too. It's so much easier to accept a lesson learned if it is learned in a helpful atmosphere: without risk of criticism, disdain or even ridicule. In this way we can encourage others to learn from their mistakes and help our situation become one where everyone can accept these 'learning opportunities" (our own, or others') rather than deny them.
So very true. I don't learn very well when someone is screaming at me or humiliating me. So, how could I expect someone else to learn that way?
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 46 total)
You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Login to reply