May 4, 2011 at 10:22 am
I'm hoping there are some grammatical geniuses here.
Here's the issue. A coworker who sits next to me calls my name "Calvo" and I respond with "What?".
No big deal, right? Well, apparently this coworker thinks it is rude to answer with "What?" and I should respond with "Yes?" instead. I don't see a problem with the way I go about it. So I started to look for answers on google and couldn't really find anything.
Thoughts? Opinions? Sources?
May 4, 2011 at 10:36 am
What culture is he from?
I personnally wouldn't be offended... but I'm from around here :-D.
May 4, 2011 at 10:42 am
Try
May I help you?
or
How may I be of assistance?
And do it with an nasally accent 😀
I would rather hear what than yes - but it all depends on tone.
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
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May 4, 2011 at 10:48 am
I think you should both get over yourselves and stop trying to be right... but I'm just an outside observer :hehe:.
Just my 0.02$
May 4, 2011 at 10:51 am
Ninja's_RGR'us (5/4/2011)
I think you should both get over yourselves and stop trying to be right... but I'm just an outside observer :hehe:.Just my 0.02$
Yes?:w00t:
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
May 4, 2011 at 11:04 am
lol
I don't really care one way or the other. I was just hoping someone would have some super inside knowledge of the English language and would be able to give a definitive answer and why.
we are both from teh good ol' USA, so I don't think it is a cultural difference.
May 4, 2011 at 11:07 am
calvo (5/4/2011)
lolI don't really care one way or the other. I was just hoping someone would have some super inside knowledge of the English language and would be able to give a definitive answer and why.
we are both from teh good ol' USA, so I don't think it is a cultural difference.
Then it's the "parental" culture. The bottom line is that he feels offended and that you don't want to offend him. Just learn to get along.
No sense in wasting much on this issue.
I just wish people would get it out of there head that everyone's out there to hurt them. I preffer to believe that everybody's out there to help me (like reverse paranoid). And then kick butt when they are not.
May 4, 2011 at 12:06 pm
It's not a question of English or grammar. Either is grammatically correct.
Manners are, essentially, a question of granting beingness/importance to the other, and following locally recognized customs. The first part is more important than the second in almost all cases.
A really good summary of that first rule of manners is, "It's perfectly okay to think you're the most important person in the world, just so long as you think everyone else is too".
On the specific point at hand: It's going to depend on specific upbringings of the people involved. It's a question of "local ritual", which can be localized to a specific household having their own customs, and hence, their own "manners". Some people will interpret "what?" as a "you're bothering me, what do you want?" shorthand. Others will interpret it as "You have my attention, what can I do for you?". So it can be "wrong" in some cases, and "right" in others. It's local, perhaps even to the person being addressed.
The mannerly way to handle it, is to assume that he prefers an answer in a specific format, and it's important to him for any reason at all. As per the first rule, unless "What?" is important to you for some reason, comply with his wish and respond with "Yes?". It does you no harm, and it matters enough to him that it will engender goodwill for you to do so. Since he's also the most important person in the world, his wish matters, just as yours does. If "What?" matters to you, and you feel offended by having to say, "Yes?", then you'll need to engage in some diplomacy, sort out the differences, and arrive at a compromise of some sort.
Since you indicated that "What?" doesn't carry a specific value/importance to you, comply with "Yes?", make him happy, and you'll get along better and be more productive together. The single biggest factor in making friends is assuming that what they want matters. Works in relationships of any sort. Just be sure not to let yourself get walked all over by following only the second half of the rule. You also are the most important person in the world, after all.
If you need something more than that, please contact whichever "Miss Manners" you consider authoritative, and go from there.
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
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"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
May 4, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Ninja's_RGR'us (5/4/2011)
What culture is he from?I personnally wouldn't be offended... but I'm from around here :-D.
I'm from around here, too. How come we never met? :-D:-P
Regarding the subject (but not really a serious answer): You could answer "Why?" as a diplomatic solution (WhatYes?)
May 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Ninja's_RGR'us (5/4/2011)
Then it's the "parental" culture. The bottom line is that he feels offended and that you don't want to offend him. Just learn to get along.No sense in wasting much on this issue.
I just wish people would get it out of there head that everyone's out there to hurt them. I prefer to believe that everybody's out there to help me (like reverse paranoid). And then kick butt when they are not.
We get along just fine, friends matter of fact. We're not paranoid and we don't think either of us is trying to hurt the other.
Just a discussion we had and I was curious to see if there was a proper way of acknowledging someone's request for attention. Kind of like when answering "I am good." and your english teacher corrects you "You mean, you are well." I'm sure there is a reason behind it, just don't know what it is. And that's why I came to SSC!!!
May 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm
calvo (5/4/2011)
Ninja's_RGR'us (5/4/2011)
Then it's the "parental" culture. The bottom line is that he feels offended and that you don't want to offend him. Just learn to get along.No sense in wasting much on this issue.
I just wish people would get it out of there head that everyone's out there to hurt them. I prefer to believe that everybody's out there to help me (like reverse paranoid). And then kick butt when they are not.
We get along just fine, friends matter of fact. We're not paranoid and we don't think either of us is trying to hurt the other.
Just a discussion we had and I was curious to see if there was a proper way of acknowledging someone's request for attention. Kind of like when answering "I am good." and your english teacher corrects you "You mean, you are well." I'm sure there is a reason behind it, just don't know what it is. And that's why I came to SSC!!!
"Good" != "Well". The phrase "I'm good" would mean, equally, "I'm not evil". The phrase "I'm well" would mean "I'm neither ill nor injured nor suffering". "Well" comes from a root meaning "as it is wished". "Good" comes from a root meaning "united", with the sense of being "united with God".
"Good" meaning "healthy or well" has been incorporated as an informal definition into a number of dictionaries, so if you want to embaras an English teacher, teach your kid to tell them "but it says in the dictionary that 'good' can mean 'healthy'". Leaves the teacher in the position of trying to argue with a dictionary. Can be quite amusing!
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
May 4, 2011 at 1:03 pm
I would take the opportunity to work "What" into every conversation, e-mail, and interaction I could. I would then put "What" posters all over my cubicle. That of course is me and could be why I have so few friends at work.
Dan
If only I could snap my figures and have all the correct indexes apear and the buffer clean and.... Start day dream here.
May 4, 2011 at 2:00 pm
LutzM (5/4/2011)
Ninja's_RGR'us (5/4/2011)
What culture is he from?I personnally wouldn't be offended... but I'm from around here :-D.
I'm from around here, too. How come we never met? :-D:-P
Regarding the subject (but not really a serious answer): You could answer "Why?" as a diplomatic solution (Wh
atYes?)
"here" is a big pond around here... :hehe:
May 4, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Dan.Humphries (5/4/2011)
I would take the opportunity to work "What" into every conversation, e-mail, and interaction I could. I would then put "What" posters all over my cubicle. That of course is me and could be why I have so few friends at work.
You know, I would do the same thing - depending on company present:-D:-D
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
May 5, 2011 at 6:10 am
Dan.Humphries (5/4/2011)
I would take the opportunity to work "What" into every conversation, e-mail, and interaction I could. I would then put "What" posters all over my cubicle. That of course is me and could be why I have so few friends at work.
King Pellinore? Is that you?
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
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