The Soft Skill of Respect

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The Soft Skill of Respect

Steve Jones - SSC Editor

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March 13, 2019 at 9:05 pm

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Comments posted to this topic are about the item The Soft Skill of Respect

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Toby Harman SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4168 More actions · Answer 1

Our CTO wrote an article on Forbes about engineering soft skills and culture which you might enjoy.

Rod at work SSC-Dedicated Points: 34017 More actions · Answer 2

I think a lot of this is influenced by the corporate environment or at least the department/section you're in. For example, at my previous job I worked on a small IT team writing software and saving the data for users who were all in the helping professions. Since it was a small IT team, we wore several hats, including business analyst, help desk, etc. Everyone on the IT team built good rapport with the users - we would listen to them, sometimes for quite a while, before saying anything. We just got good at it, out of necessity.

In my current job I work in a large IT team. The culture here is everyone does what their job title suggests. Basically, you don't do anything else. Of course, this isn't a hard and fast rule, more of a general guideline. So, although I think of myself as having good soft skills, for the most part I have to wait for someone else to interface with the users and then distill that information to me. I miss not interacting with users more. Bottom line, I'm sure where I work is like a lot of other places that people here can relate to.

Kindest Regards, Rod Connect with me on LinkedIn.

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736478 More actions · Answer 3

Toby Harman - Wednesday, March 13, 2019 10:28 PM
Our CTO wrote an article on Forbes about engineering soft skills and culture which you might enjoy.

Thanks, and I agree. Software developers need better soft skills.

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004406 More actions · Answer 4

What your great article ultimately describes (IMHO) is a properly implemented DevOps culture, which has been mistaken by most and demoted to mean a set of tools. I take that back... there are two tools that will absolutely prevent a DevOps culture from happening and those tools are "Respect" (the subject of your article) and effective communication.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

allinadazework SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4506 More actions · Answer 5

I don't think you have to respect people in order to do a good job for them, or with them for that matter. Some people are virtually impossible to respect - that's for sure! I think you shouldn't disrespect someone because they don't have the same skills that you have. You should certainly have the humility to acknowledge that you don't always know best and that you will do a better job if you take more time to understand the requirements. That seems to come from the having the desire and patience to understand someone who almost certainly isn't as coldly logical as you are as a programmer!
And on a positive note for disrespect, you should definitely have a healthy disrespect for those who show no respect to others. You shouldn't be tolerant of intolerance.

Ralph Hightower SSCrazy Points: 2843 More actions · Answer 6

I've read elsewhere on SQL Server Central where DBA frequently means "Don't Bother Asking". At work, there was one DB2 DBA that always answered "No" even before the question was finished. Fortunately that DBA retired and the other DBAs were easier to get along with.

x SSC-Insane Points: 23660 More actions · Answer 7

allinadazework wrote:

I don't think you have to respect people in order to do a good job for them, or with them for that matter. Some people are virtually impossible to respect - that's for sure! I think you shouldn't disrespect someone because they don't have the same skills that you have. You should certainly have the humility to acknowledge that you don't always know best and that you will do a better job if you take more time to understand the requirements. That seems to come from the having the desire and patience to understand someone who almost certainly isn't as coldly logical as you are as a programmer!
And on a positive note for disrespect, you should definitely have a healthy disrespect for those who show no respect to others. You shouldn't be tolerant of intolerance.

Really depends on the definition you're using. Lets hop over to dictionary dot com and have a look!

esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.
2. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

So I think that if we're talking about #2, I think we should put effort into respect and courtesy. When it comes to bosses, you really do get points for #2 also, even if it might involve nontrivial amounts of dishonesty. #1 however is probably just not within the scope of this editorial but might be the sort of "less than voluntary" response you personally have when encountering various other folks in your travels and something that is not easily faked by deliberate effort like #2.