SQL Jokes & Riddles!!!

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SQL Jokes & Riddles!!!

SQL_ME_RICH

SSChampion

Points: 11200
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July 3, 2012 at 3:28 pm

#74123

What did the one SQL table say to the other SQL table at the bar this past Friday night?
:w00t:

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SQLBill SSC Guru Points: 51440 More actions · Answer 1

SQL_ME_RICH (7/3/2012)
What did the one SQL table say to the other SQL table at the bar this past Friday night?
:w00t:

Sorry, that's an old one that's been on this site before...unless you've come up with a new response.

'Mind if I JOIN you?'

-SQLBill

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286601 More actions · Answer 2

SQLBill (7/3/2012)
SQL_ME_RICH (7/3/2012)
What did the one SQL table say to the other SQL table at the bar this past Friday night?
:w00t:
Sorry, that's an old one that's been on this site before...unless you've come up with a new response.
'Mind if I JOIN you?'
-SQLBill

Shoot I was going to say "I am now leaving, I have no interest in JOINing this conversation".

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SQL_ME_RICH SSChampion Points: 11200 More actions · Answer 3

heheheheheheheheeeee!

I know Gail is going to come out here and clobber me for such rubbish before it's over, but I want this to be fun.

P.S. SQLDork!

SQL_ME_RICH SSChampion Points: 11200 More actions · Answer 4

So get your fun and creative caps on, and lets think of, create, and share some new ones.

SQL_ME_RICH SSChampion Points: 11200 More actions · Answer 5

So on the basis of this first joke - were there any follow-ups to them forming a UNION?

:w00t:

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 6

Lynn Pettis

SSC Guru

Points: 442467

July 3, 2012 at 3:43 pm

#1508526

Or perhaps INTERSECTing?

SQL_ME_RICH SSChampion Points: 11200 More actions · Answer 7

Lynn Pettis (7/3/2012)
Or perhaps INTERSECTing?

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Lynn! That's dangerously close to an INSERT!

:w00t:

hehe

Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 8

Is this the right place to demonstrate how good is greater than evil, just by using SQL?

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

CapnHector SSCoach Points: 16143 More actions · Answer 9

Luis Cazares (7/16/2012)
Is this the right place to demonstrate how good is greater than evil, just by using SQL?

i would like to see that

For faster help in answering any problems Please read How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help - Jeff Moden[/url] for the best way to ask your question.

For performance Issues see how we like them posted here: How to Post Performance Problems - Gail Shaw[/url]

Need to Split some strings? Jeff Moden's DelimitedSplit8K[/url]
Jeff Moden's Cross tab and Pivots Part 1[/url]
Jeff Moden's Cross tab and Pivots Part 2[/url]

Alex Fekken Ten Centuries Points: 1109 More actions · Answer 10

"It is so frustrating: every table that I date turns out to be a relation."

Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 11

capn.hector (7/17/2012)
Luis Cazares (7/16/2012)
Is this the right place to demonstrate how good is greater than evil, just by using SQL?
i would like to see that

There are plenty of ways, the easiest is:

SELECT 'true'

WHERE 'Good' > 'Evil'

OR

IF 'Good' > 'Evil'

SELECT 'true'

ELSE

SELECT 'false'

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

bobt 46978 SSC Veteran Points: 269 More actions · Answer 12

SQL Object walks into a bar and asks, "Hey - Got ladies for tables?"

Raghavendra Mudugal SSChampion Points: 10658 More actions · Answer 13

Alex Fekken (7/18/2012)
"It is so frustrating: every table that I date turns out to be a relation."

P1: Wanna DATE?

P2: Which format?

ww; Raghu
--
The first and the hardest SQL statement I have wrote- "select * from customers" - and I was happy and felt smart.

Sergiy SSC Guru Points: 110209 More actions · Answer 14

Alex Fekken (7/18/2012)
"It is so frustrating: every table that I date turns out to be a relation."

Good DBA keeps his relations well normalised.

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