February 23, 2015 at 9:35 am
Andy Warren (2/23/2015)
I'm using OpenDNS at home. Not perfect, better than nothing. It's just a hard task because they have wifi enabled tablets, one as a phone, Xbox, WiiU, probably something else, and that's at home. Go to most any restaurant and there is open wifi that may or may not have filtering enabled. I've debated pointing them to a travel router so I can filter there, but ultimately it's a losing game once some kid figures it out and tells the rest. I figure I filter where/when/as long as I can, talk to them about dangers, and try to watch. Computers are in an area where I can see what they are doing, but phones/tablets? Not so much. But that's the world as it is and they have to learn to survive it, hopefully I can add guidance/lessons that will carry them through. Doesn't seem like a great plan.
I think it is a perfect plan. Parents concern themselves with their kids using profanity, seeing things they shouldn't. But the minute you let them out of the house you have no control. Other kids, TV, the media, and even schools are exposing kids to things they have no business exposing them to. I am not sure which is worse.
All we can do is answer their questions with age appropriate information, and help them make appropriate decisions. The minute we think that we can control their decisions we have lost. We can guide them, but kids are humans and need to learn from their own mistakes.
The best example I can come up with is that if daddy doesn't want his son/daughter engaging in (some behavior), so what. But if his son/daughter doesn't want to engage in that behavior, they won't.
Dave
February 23, 2015 at 9:40 am
We too use OpenDNS, same opionion as yours. We also use Microsoft "child" accounts with Family Safety enabled. This is great as long as they are on Microsfot devices. Thankfully we only have one none MS device and that an iPod touch. It can be a nasty world out there and I wish to isolate my kids (as much as I can) from damaging images and predatory social interactions.
-Andy
February 23, 2015 at 9:42 am
My daughter started playing Minecraft when she was 6 years old. She’s had a computer of her own since she was 3, and as much as I think reasonable, I let her try the games she wants to try.
Ah. So perhaps that explains why I don't see many children playing outside any more.
February 23, 2015 at 10:43 am
Kutang Pan (2/23/2015)
Any suggestions about a good parental control software?
Maybe not exactly what you are looking for, but combination of opendns (www.opendns.com) service and diladele (www.diladele.com) web safety proxy could be a good start.
AK
February 23, 2015 at 11:29 am
My kid recently turned 5, but doesn't have access to a computer/phone/tablet.
I've struggled with how to introduce technology to him. On the one hand, valuable skills. On the other, games like Minecraft appear to be very habit-forming.
And unlike Scooby-Doo, say, Minecraft doesn't come in neat little 20 minute chunks that make it an appreciated but controllable reward.
At some point I'm sure he will discover games and will have to learn self-control and moderation. But, given that he's not yet expressed interest on his own, I've been reluctant to encourage it.
How do other people handle the "in moderation" part of technology? Especially for kids not yet in school?
Leonard
Madison, WI
February 23, 2015 at 11:38 am
How do other people handle the "in moderation" part of technology? Especially for kids not yet in school?
My kids have kids of their own now. They limit 'high tech time' for their kids in a similar way I limited TV time for my kids. They let each child choose from a set of parental-approved programmes, and then limit their time to no more than 30 minutes a day.
... and they make sure their kids still have play-time with other kids, and get plenty of exercise and fresh air. Sorry to belabour the point, but morbid obesity is at epidemic levels in the West; and video games are a big part of the problem, since they may reinforce bad sedentary habits from an early age.
February 23, 2015 at 11:53 am
My goal is balance, but to also let them explore the things that appeal to them and aren't obviously harmful. It's not easy to get right of course. Time will tell if the early (perhaps super early) access to technology will make a difference in life/performance later on.
February 23, 2015 at 12:02 pm
Andy Warren (2/23/2015)
My goal is balance, but to also let them explore the things that appeal to them and aren't obviously harmful. It's not easy to get right of course. Time will tell if the early (perhaps super early) access to technology will make a difference in life/performance later on.
I think it will.
My kids have all had access since they were two years old. It shows in their reading, science and math scores. They do not get enough exercise though. 🙂
Kids that do focus on sports and the like tend to be healthier, but few of them in our school system do as well as my kids do academically. I have been amazed to go on field trips to the zoo with 2nd graders that couldn't read signs like ""lion, tiger and bear". Oh my!
As you said, it's not easy to get right. All we can do is try to balance it. However I think that kids who grow up with access to technology will have far superior job prospects. I feel bad for the kids that can't afford access.
Dave
February 23, 2015 at 12:47 pm
It is amazing how quickly they learn at such a young age.
February 23, 2015 at 1:18 pm
My son was three when I bought my first computer in 1996. He was with me as I opened the boxes, took out the parts, and plugged everything in, etc. It all booted up properly straight out of the box, I was so happy and relieved. I had to leave the room for a minute so I opened Paint.exe and let him have a go at it. What could go wrong?
When I came back, maybe a minute later, he had somehow opened C:\ and had grabbed the AUTOEXEC.bat file with the mouse and was moving it around the screen !!
O. M. G. !!! LOL 🙂
When he was older we never got him a video game system. Eventually we found he was missing out on a social part of life with the other boys, so we relented a bit. We created a system for him to earn money so that he could eventually buy his own game system. It took a while, over a year I think, but he eventually earned enough, supplemented by Christmas money, to buy his first Wii game system. He was pretty happy obviously.
February 23, 2015 at 2:54 pm
Parenting? You'll get it wrong. You'll get it right. Just like the rest of us. I guess understanding this is key to self-belief in your choices and less guilt.
As my Mother-in-Law says, you are only borrowing them...
Gaz
-- Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen...they're everywhere!!!
February 23, 2015 at 3:10 pm
Parenting? You'll get it wrong. You'll get it right. Just like the rest of us. I guess understanding this is key to self-belief in your choices and less guilt.
Self-belief is difficult when it's difficult to know what to believe in a brave new technologic world. The pervasiveness and velocity of information technology is challenging parents as never before.
Where is the middle ground? I don't claim to know, other than thinking it's somewhere between Ned Ludd and Locutus of Borg.
February 23, 2015 at 3:36 pm
Thanks Andy, great article. I have felt your pain of installing mods in the wee hours of the morning, matching Minecraft and Forge versions and navigating the many false links. However it's all worth it when I see my 7 and 9 year old interacting with the game and wanting to know more about the amazing digital world that they will inherit.
February 24, 2015 at 2:31 am
phonetictalk (2/23/2015)
At some point I'm sure he will discover games and will have to learn self-control and moderation. But, given that he's not yet expressed interest on his own, I've been reluctant to encourage it.How do other people handle the "in moderation" part of technology? Especially for kids not yet in school?
As I play games (not so much but I do enjoy them) my children have just joined in. We tend to just have times when screen time is banned. Solving some tricky problems with the little ones in Mario is enormous fun though on the cold winter evenings!
February 24, 2015 at 7:26 am
Great article and thanks for writing it.
My son has loved minecraft and it was great watching him learn to build and create.
It is a new world to enter as a parent and any time is good to talk about online safety and the fact that all is not what is seems on the internet.
My son has recently moved to call of duty which he plays with classmates online. Whatever the morals of this type of game they are learning to play together as a team which is a useful skill.
That said it is hard letting them grow up. There is no perfect right way to do it we just try the best we can.
I have two girls aswell and very scared about them growing up. No boys allowed until they are 30 methinks...
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