June 26, 2009 at 7:02 am
Hotel? Travel?
I think being allowed to be unchained from the desk at work would be a good start...
signed,
Data Slave #42
:hehe:
June 26, 2009 at 7:09 am
June 26, 2009 at 7:10 am
I would start with some bacon, naturally. Double or triple thick slabs, baked in a 375 degree oven for about 30 minutes, or until just right (i'll decide if they are right after i start eating, of course). the bacon will then be served inside a potato roll (or a croissant because i'm not picky).
i'll need some apple juice, water, and dunkin donuts coffee, as well as my daily regimen of "vitamins". i won't finish anything i am given to eat or drink because i will tell everyone that i am watching my caloric intake, then i will proceed to eat ice cream until i have a headache because that is natures way of saying you have had enough.
then, just before i go on, i want someone to take the stage and ask if anyone has seen me. after everyone waits for a few minutes past the start time, i will make a grand entrance from the rear of the hall along with an Elvis impersonator. as we walk towards the front we will throw swag to the crowd. some of the swag will injure some attendees. they will be given some Windows 7 RC disks as compensation for their injuries.
after i take the stage i expect the audience to react on cue (applause, laughter, etc.) as if it were a sit-com (we can use cue cards for this, and not stage lights because again, i am not picky). after about 30 minutes of babbling about nothing related to the topic at hand, i will then segue into the topic, finish in ten minutes, and run off the stage to a thunderous ovation while screaming "THANK YOU PROVIDENCE GOOD NIGHT".
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https://thomaslarock.com
June 26, 2009 at 7:18 am
I would request a couple of extra monitors in a private meeting area as I'm sure there would be someone I would want to chat with at a conference and it's always nice to have more virtual desktop space. I would also need to have a direct line to Viva Pizza in SF so they can bring me a pepperoni and artichoke heart pizza whenever I want one. A conference cell phone would be nice so I can give out a number to people that want to meet while I'm there without having to change my number when I get home (after all, if I'm speaking at a conference, I must know something that others do not and wouldn't want hundreds of calls a week from people I don't know asking me to work for free). Most importantly, I would demand a costume party restricted to World of Warcraft players at which you must dress as one of your characters.
Short answer:
meeting room with extra monitors
direct line to Viva Pizza in SF
conference cell phone
WoW costume party
June 26, 2009 at 7:57 am
Demands: None.
Requests: Wi-Fi, Fresh coffee, a veggie tray, and transportation to and from event.
Mike Hinds Lead Database Administrator1st Source BankMCP, MCTS
June 26, 2009 at 8:25 am
Ian Massi (6/26/2009)
1) Room with a balcony.2) 50 pre-filled water balloons.
3) Diplomatic immunity.
Now that got a laugh out of me! :hehe:
June 26, 2009 at 8:30 am
None of those pretty soaps please. I don't want to show up at the event smelling like a giant coconut.
June 26, 2009 at 8:31 am
Good to see some people know what they want. I especially like the pizza one. If I were close, I'd ask for Chichos pizza in Va Beach, but only if it could be delivered hot in 30-40 minutes. And after the talk! Always a little nervous before.
June 26, 2009 at 9:14 am
hmmm ... I live kind of simply so I would like things to be special like my Sundays usually are dining-wise ...
breakfast - homemade biscuits and sausage gravy with think sliced bacon (meat preferably from the FFA a.k.a. the Future Farmers of America) and fresh squeezed orange juice.
lunch - just 2 plain old BLT sandwiches - yes, only two slices of bread for a sandwich lightly toaster, none of those messy triple decker clubs, ripple potato chips and a can of Coke.
dinner - Kansas City Strip steak (22 ounces, 6 weeks dry aged Black Angus beef), baked potato (Golden Yukon variety) with butter, sour cream and chive and bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz (2004 or 2006).
dessert - Eli's Cheesecake (just plain old cheesecake, no fruit, chocolate, nuts or other condiments) and a glass of Black Opal Merlot (2002 or 2003 vintage)
Yes - this is a normal Sunday for me less the 'special' dessert and variation on the cut of dry aged Angus beef (the other white meat !).
Note for the health conscious out there ...
my BP averages 120/80, pulse 74 and cholesteral below 180 ....
and ... I clock in ahe-wise at a half century+bit old.
RegardsRudy KomacsarSenior Database Administrator"Ave Caesar! - Morituri te salutamus."
June 26, 2009 at 9:21 am
A cold six pack of St Pauli Girls and a large toasted ham and cheese sub. And a nap.
June 26, 2009 at 9:24 am
Ian Massi (6/26/2009)
1) Room with a balcony.2) 50 pre-filled water balloons.
3) Diplomatic immunity.
A guarantee that I will never have to walk by Ian's room.;-)
Jack Corbett
Consultant - Straight Path Solutions
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June 26, 2009 at 9:28 am
A platter of Hot Pockets, 2 Liters of Diet Pepsi, and a download of the "Candide Overture: Leonard Bernstein conducting" video -- not the youTube version, but the one you actually pay for.
June 26, 2009 at 10:53 am
Thomas LaRock's demands were a riot! In that vein:
For myself, my needs are more modest. I will need 1800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets with real goose down comforter on a swedish tempurpedic mattress. I will also need a sleeping bag because I never sleep on a bed. I will require a 100% cotton robe washed 23 times in Downey fabric softener (yes, 23 times - I can tell the difference).
I need to be gently woken by the smell of Cinnamon rolls, which will be thrown away as soon as I awake as I ALWAYS have Golden Grahams in a Scooby Doo bowl. I will have a large Italian Roast on the balcony while perusing the latest edition of MAD magazine. Oh yeah, someone will have to pay the hooker.
I will be bathed (please see contract rider) and dressed in whatever attire Johnny Depp is wearing that day. After clearing the halls, elevators, and hotel lobby, I will be whisked to the venue in a stretch limousine. There should be sufficient amounts of scotch for the ride.
I am to arrive at the venue precisely three minutes before my performance. No one will talk to me as I prepare. After delivering the goods, I will be congratulated and thanked by no less than 14 people. Groupies would be good. Cash would be better.
The remainder of the day is my 'cooling off' period and requires a dimly lit room, scotch, pay per view, a Tigger suit, electric buffer, and unicycle.
June 26, 2009 at 11:10 am
damn. i forgot the hyperbolic chamber. and i think i know of an upcoming estate sale where i can get one cheap.
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https://thomaslarock.com
June 26, 2009 at 11:22 am
A bowl of M&M's with all the browns removed, maybe?
Hyperbaric chamber!!! Oh, that's bad 🙂
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