July 25, 2008 at 9:37 am
Shaun McGuile (7/25/2008)
iffy joke time -
What's the differnce between a screw and a bolt?
--Shaun
Gotta be the numbers of beers! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Hiding under a desk from SSIS Implemenation Work :crazy:
July 25, 2008 at 9:39 am
Val Byref (7/24/2008)
I know I'm going to regret this, but some masochistic bent is making me type this: why does it seem to be the general premise that Americans are dumber than a box of rocks (no offense to anyone, but someone felt compelled to explain what a Bobby is... ) C'mon people, we are not all a bunch of Jerry Springer-watching, Cheez Doodle gulping, uncultured dolts. Isn't there anything that Americans can tout as their cultural *advantage*, if you will. I mean, Aussie is cool, Brit is cool, Scot, well they might not be cool but they can definitely kick the haggis out of ye if you even look at 'em sideways. What is cool about being American -- about American life, music, culture, etc?Hey, it's the birthplace of Bill Gates, huh? Huh?!... That counts right ?!??!
Bring it. :Whistling:
Our ancestors got kicked out of every decent country in the world! We're mutts! (H/T Bill Murray)
The thing that's "cool" about us 'mericans, is our very lack of "culture". After all, "culture" is what grows in a petri dish when you feed mold, bacteria, etc. Yes, Europeans have more culture, and they're proud of it! 🙂
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
July 25, 2008 at 9:42 am
I defined Bobby in my joke because we're an international audience here. Most Americans know what a Bobby is, obviously the Brits and probably any country that was previously a British colony/territory. Other cultures, and non-native English speakers, might not get the connotation.
I once posted a story of stupid on a community about a girl who "needed" to get a 4.0 average and included a parenthetical explanation that here, 4.0 is the best possible grade, expecting that it is not the standard world-wide. What I didn't know is that it isn't even a standard in the US! There are institutions where a 1.0 is a perfect grade, and others where a 5.0 is the best possible.
Sometimes you need to provide context, just like Unicode and UTF encoding. The Bobby joke makes the most sense if you know the stereotypical Bobby speech patterns from programs like Monty Python, it's probably pretty befuddling from a non-native English speaker who doesn't have the cultural knowledge.
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[font="Arial"]Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information upon it. --Samuel Johnson[/font]
July 25, 2008 at 9:45 am
GSquared (7/25/2008)
The thing that's "cool" about us 'mericans, is our very lack of "culture". After all, "culture" is what grows in a petri dish when you feed mold, bacteria, etc. Yes, Europeans have more culture, and they're proud of it! 🙂
One of my fav "slam your location" jokes is "What's the difference between (town to diss) and yogurt? Yogurt has active culture."
And a couple of American jokes:
An American is a person who is not afraid to criticize the President but is always polite to a traffic cop.
And America is the only country that has gone from barbarism to decadence without the usual middle ground of civilization.
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[font="Arial"]Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information upon it. --Samuel Johnson[/font]
July 25, 2008 at 10:03 am
That's cool -- one of my weaknesses tends to be that I don't take time to make sure everyone is up to speed with terminology, jargon, etc. before I start spewing out a bunch of verbage. I'm just probably being a bit defensive because it seems like I am hearing ever more each day about how our president is a moron -- our citizens are "cultural morons", etc. I do have to admit that the quote about America going from barbarism to decadence without an intervening period of civilization was a bit of a sting .
Funny though... in dark wit kind of way
July 25, 2008 at 10:09 am
I wouldn't say that a lot of Americans are cultural morons, but they definitely can be culturally ignorant. Definitely too many Americans assume that the rest of the world is just like home. I think part of the problem is that America is a VERY young country: our history goes back 300 years or so, where as in Europe it easily goes back over 1000 years.
My wife is fond of the line (applied to Americans, can be America vs Europe): to an Easterner, 100 miles is a long way. To a Westerner, 100 years is old.
I make an effort to learn about other countries, attend festivals about them, etc. It's fun, interesting, and you find some great food and movies.
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[font="Arial"]Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information upon it. --Samuel Johnson[/font]
July 25, 2008 at 10:25 am
I think Americans in general are a little arrogant, and overall, culturally ignorant. We tend to see the US as the center of the world. There's some basis with our huge economy and influence on the world, but it's still not the best way to do things.
I try to remember that this is world community and balance out views; not sure I'm overall successful there, but I do try to remember there are people outside the US.
On the humor front, feel free to make fun of us. We probably deserve a lot of it 🙂
July 25, 2008 at 10:35 am
I think Americans in general are a little arrogant, and overall, culturally ignorant.
It's not that we're arrogant, we just assume everyone wants to be just like us. 😀
July 25, 2008 at 10:35 am
Many Americans are not just culturally ignorant, but are culturally resistant. I live in Texas, and more and more signs are in both English and Spanish. People actually complain about this and say that this is America and the signs should be in English.
I try to explain that in Europe the signs are in 4 different languages and what's more - many people there speak at least 2 or 3 of them. This comment is often met with a grunt or blank stare.
I'm a New York City transplant and am happy to be in Texas, but I do miss the different cultures in New York. I used to like to sit outside the UN and watch foreigners in different clothes speaking different languages. This kind of thing fascinates me. We all have so much to learn from each other.
July 25, 2008 at 10:39 am
Wayne West (7/25/2008)
I wouldn't say that a lot of Americans are cultural morons, but they definitely can be culturally ignorant. Definitely too many Americans assume that the rest of the world is just like home. I think part of the problem is that America is a VERY young country: our history goes back 300 years or so, where as in Europe it easily goes back over 1000 years.
Word! I'll never forget a guide in Venice who said indulgently, "Oh, Venice is such a young city, barely 500."
A joke:
How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three.
One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure that nobody else tries to change the bulb at the same time.
July 25, 2008 at 10:41 am
I live in Texas
Well, now you're confusing Texans with Americans. Texans will be happy to tell you that theirs is the only state that was an independent country. (They seem to forget about the Hawaiian Monarchy)
Texas fathers tell their sons, "Never ask a man where he's from. If he's from Texas, he'll tell you. And if he's not, you don't want to embarrass him."
July 25, 2008 at 10:56 am
Hah! You have a point about Texans!
BTW, love the screw/bolt joke.:P
July 25, 2008 at 12:45 pm
An American is a person who is not afraid to criticize the President but is always polite to a traffic cop.
Well, duh! Which one carries a stick and a gun?
And having watched a few "World's Worst Drivers" shows, in which people do not treat the traffic cop well with resultant arrest, etc., I am quite prepared to pull over quietly and carefully keep my hands on the wheel should I ever be stopped by the police.
July 25, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Wayne West (7/25/2008)
I wouldn't say that a lot of Americans are cultural morons, but they definitely can be culturally ignorant. Definitely too many Americans assume that the rest of the world is just like home. I think part of the problem is that America is a VERY young country: our history goes back 300 years or so, where as in Europe it easily goes back over 1000 years.My wife is fond of the line (applied to Americans, can be America vs Europe): to an Easterner, 100 miles is a long way. To a Westerner, 100 years is old.
When I visited Great Britain it was a shock to me to learn that they still call a place the "New Forest" - I believe that's the place where trees were planned by William the Conqueror (a bit after 1066 AD).
July 28, 2008 at 1:39 am
sing4you (7/25/2008)
Hah! You have a point about Texans!BTW, love the screw/bolt joke.:P
Glad someone understood it.
Yeah, thought that one up Friday afternoon, kinda sounds more crude than I intended 😀
Hiding under a desk from SSIS Implemenation Work :crazy:
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