I just want to do my job !

  • These situations are tough and you should definitely learn from them.

    Life is not Back or White there are a bunch of grays and you should balance your attitude. I was a very direct person and that tended to get me into problems even when I knew I was right. Sometimes you can simply let the truth show and keep always your "possitve" attitude towards the rest even when you know they are doing the wrong thing.

    I do believe that you should express your oppinions but you need to focus on "how" you do it 😉

    Good Luck,


    * Noel

  • Loner,

    I smell what you steppin in.

  • Many people will recognise a crisis of confidence and feelings of being on your own. But they affect people differently - some adjust their attitude and reconnect with colleagues, some spiral into a worsening state of increasing isolation.

    The answer is twofold - assert control, and change things. There, that was easy!

    Whilst you remain the victim of a situation, that is all you feel - that you have no influence or control, and that there is no remedy. You have to stop the endless loop of describing causes and reliving and reinforcing the injustice you feel, and realise that the reasons are irrelevant: if you cannot sustain the situation, you must change it.

    Then you change it. Some people, if the employer is large enough, shift sideways into a similar job with different colleagues and a different ethos. Some look for employment elsewhere that better suits their personality. Some set out to modify their personality - the sort of self-help that is being suggested here. Some crack up and drop out of normality for a spell, but that reinforces the victim role and really doesn't help a CV.

    Most of us need to keep employed and therefore need to remain competent and capable, and it is easier to learn new work skills than to acquire a new personality. So you could assess your skills and find out their value in the jobs market. Getting an interview (or getting an offer) is great for confidence; but failing to get one or the other is still a positive outcome - you get a better idea what your CV and your skills are worth and best of all, you are being active, engaging with the problem, and learning whether you need to work more on skillset or on attitude. You are doing things rather than having things done to you.

  • Dear Loner, I too have felt the same as you. I hope you find a company that can appreciate your skills, and not worry about your social life. You have good talents and there are many companies that need those skills. Keeps your hopes alive! The problem is that managers are at the top of corporations, there are no leaders.


    Kindest Regards,

    The art of doing mathematics consists in finding that special case which contains all the germs of generality.

  • I should learn this from Einstein long time ago.

    Albert Einstein

    If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

  • Einstein also said that you cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking you were at when you created the problem.

    For instance, this is why the vast majority of the US population is broke. We are the wealthiest country in the world and yet most middle class Americans will be financially dependant at retirement age. Is this because there is not enough opportunity in America to become wealthy? No, this is because people become broke because of their habits. The way we think determines our actions and a habit is simply an action that we have done so often that we know do it without thinking about it. Our instant gratification society has allowed peolpe to aquire the habit of buying things on time instead of paying cash, living paycheck to paycheck with little savings, financing lifestyle purchases like cars, boats, vacations. Wealthy people do not do this because they think differently and because they think differently, they have developed different habits. It is their habits that made them wealthy, not luck. People will remain broke until they change the way they think about money. They cannot solve their financial problems with the same thinking that got them there and most people spend much more time in front of the electronic income reducer (TV) than they do doing things that will grow their minds.

    All of this is to say that this isn't the first time that this has happened to you and unless you change the way you think, this will not be the last.

    Read the book that I posted earlier......

    John Rowan

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  • I read that book long time ago.:exclamationmark::(

  • It couldn't hurt to read it again. Also try 'The Magic of Thinking Big', 'Thinking For a Change', Proverbs, 'Enthusiasm Makes the Difference', '360 Degree Leader', 'The Sucess System That Never Fails', 'What You Say is What You Get', or anything by W. Clement Stone, Napoleon Hill, John Maxwell, Zig Ziglar, and a host of many others. Read some books on sales (everyone sells every day by the way).

    John Rowan

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  • Forget those books they are a waste of time and effort! Here is a book that includes everything you will ever need to know.

    The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


    Kindest Regards,

    The art of doing mathematics consists in finding that special case which contains all the germs of generality.

  • nunYoBidnez (10/10/2007)


    Forget those books they are a waste of time and effort! Here is a book that includes everything you will ever need to know.

    The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

    I'm sure The Little Prince is a great book, but exactly how are these others a waste of time and effort?

    John Rowan

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  • Hi John, please read the book, at least three times, you will understand. Most of the books you mention I have read, Proverbs is a good part of the Bible - but more misunderstood than not and I would not ask anyone to read it that may not be Christian. The others I classify as escape literature, not useful, except to the person that wrote them. Sales may be good for business, motivational, high pressure adrenaline junkies, but not for a normal person. I have taken several sales courses, had the motivational tapes, books and garbage papers. It's never been of any help, only to know the process a Amway person is pushing.


    Kindest Regards,

    The art of doing mathematics consists in finding that special case which contains all the germs of generality.

  • I'll add the book to my list; however, I will have to disagree with pretty much everything else you've stated. The motivation/self-help industry is a multi-billion dollar industry here in the US. My life has been positively changed from books like the ones that I posted. I guess it's an expectation thing. If you don't expect much, that's what you get.

    John Rowan

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  • I agree with nunYoBidnez about 'The Little Prince'

    My classic line from 'The Little Prince' is

    'It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye'

    Read it. It won't take you long

    :Whistling:

    Madame Artois

  • Pursuing my view that you try to change the small things, I would say that you can read some of those books in order to change yourself, following their guidance and advice to 'compete' better in the social and business context they take as read; or in order to gain a clearer understanding of where your own attitude and personality sit with respect to the sort of society they are designed for. The alternative to buying in to having to 'sell yourself' is to find a position - philosophically and in employment terms - where you feel more comfortable as yourself, and less at odds with your surroundings. In my view, whilst you do have to take control (so positive thinking and self-empowerment are better than self-flagellation), you don't have to assume you are in some way at fault and must fix your attitude - that seems repressive.

    Maybe that's easier for me to say here in the UK, where it is possible to think business competition and the profit motive are not the be-all and end-all, and still remain in employment. It must be tough where business rules, and promotion and reward are the prime motivators. Some of us wouldn't survive in those surroundings.

  • I was in a position that I knew wouldn't take me as far as I wanted to go. One of my former co-workers had a quote that she posted in her cube (that I eventually took over when she left) and that she used as her inspiration for quitting. It inspired me to get to where I am now and to quit that position. Maybe it'll serve as a source of inspiration for you too:

    Twenty years frmo now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain

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