How To Mess Up An Interview
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Mr McCown:
In your article, “How to Mess up an Interview”, you have not only managed to offend both Christians and the homosexual community, but you seem to place the typical IT shop on the social level of the local auto garage with your "cursing is more appropriate in an IT shop" comment. For your next article, I certainly look forward to additional comments that will offend environmentalists, women, Jews and perhaps even those troublesome handicapped folks as well.
The SSC community consistently offers excellent articles and advice to those involved in Microsoft SQL Server. Your article, on the other hand, shames and degrades the high quality our community has come to expect here at SqlServerCentral.com. Perhaps the word "mess" in the title should have been a clue to all as to the quality of the content.
And you are quite right; I certainly do not have to read anything that I find offensive. Now that I know your name, I’ll know which articles to avoid. I wholeheartedly agree with Joe Wagner - "If tongue-in-cheek, that fact should have been made A LOT clearer."
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"back off ...this pez dispenser is loaded and I know how to use it.
damn it steve... is it day passday or what around here...
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When you write something to be posted on an internet site that could potentially reach a lot of people the content as well as the way in which you convey your ideas to others MATTER!!
When using the wrong words especially in offensive matter, is very disrespectful. How do you feel when you get an anwser like the one our dear JC likes to post?
Nothing justify such lame article! The author in my opinion (again
) Is a poorly self-respected person 
* Noel -
A few thoughts...
First off - I don't think the author intentionally wanted to set off this wave of discussion. He's probably a bright guy who wrote this completely off-the-cuff, and it flowed right through the process. Writing is in the re-write, and I think an editor could have smoothed off a few of the rough edges, while still keeping the article funny.
So taking off the limelight from this author who is probably having a bad Monday...
Speaking generally, when I go to SQLServerCentral.com I want to read about SQL Server topics.
I believe in freedom of speech, BUT... Would this article have been posted if it was racist or sexist? I hope not. But I guess calling something "gay" is perfectly okay for editorial standards?
I don't care if you use the word f** every other word or hate homosexuals - but here's a news-flash - there are gay DBAs out there. By letting people go there - you're telling 10% of your readers that you don't care what they think.
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OK, since this seems to be a big topic of conversation, I'm going to respond... This is Sean, and I wrote this piece...
Comments about being gay...
well... I had an uncle who was one of those flamboyant 3 dollar bills you hear about. His name was Butch, and he was flitty, and wore loud clothes, and screamed like a girl when he saw a roach. And I don't think I've ever loved a family member more. He had a life mate of over 20yrs, and when I was in high school he found out he had AIDS and blew his brains out. So don't any of you tell me what's appropriate to say about gays and what's not. My cousin is gay, and my best friend in the whole world of 15+yrs is gay. He's actually on the fence, but I can tell which way he's going to fall...
Absolutely everything I say is in fun, and never any malicious intent is behind it... so don't attribute any of your hang-ups to me.
Besides, the comment wasn't about being homosexual, it's an expression. Kinda like don't be an a-hole... it doesn't mean to literally don't be a physical part of the body that excretes waste. It means don't be a jerk. So something being gay doesn't always mean homosexual, sometimes it means dumb or in this case, goody2shoes... like leave it to beaver... lighten up guys...
Peanut Butter:
The peanut butter comment was a reference to the movie Road Trip. I try to be funny in these articles because I personally get tired of boring pieces that have no imagination or personality. If you guys would rather, I could just submit bullet points from now on and let you just be content with reading the same dry content we have in BOL and the like. But personally, I'm really tired of dry, boring content, and I try to spice things up a bit when I can. By the way dude... loved the pez comment... that was hilarious...
religion vs cursing. Is religion more offensive than cursing? Well, in many cases it is. People tend to get far more upset about religious topics than they do about swearing. How many wars have been started over cursing? And how many people have been beaten and tortured until they pledged allegiance to a particular swear word? When’s the last time you were woken up on Sunday morning to someone knocking at your door trying to get you to swear more? Have you ever heard of a girl not being able to marry someone because he didn’t swear like her family, or having to convert to a different form of swearing before she could marry him (personally, I just find the idea of this one very funny)? Ok, I could go on, but you get the idea. There’s not very much out there that will invoke strong emotion in someone like religion will. Look what happened to the Dixie Chicks, and they just talked about Bush. Quite often it’s not enough to believe in God, you also have to believe in the exact same God that someone else does to be accepted. It’s a shame, but that’s one of those harsh realities of life we all have to accept. So, just play it safe and don’t bring up religion… and not just in the interview either… I find it best to not bring it up at work at all.
However, could I go back and re-write that last piece, I think I would’ve called this section Holy Sabotage Batman!!
Is Cursing in an Interview OK?!?
Ok, so bottom line here…it depends. Seriously… some of you guys need to step away from this and stop taking it so seriously. Most of you completely missed what I was saying. All it really boils down to is that it’s your choice, and this isn’t the 50s anymore. The lines between proper and crude have been blurred tremendously and there’s really nothing wrong with it in the proper circumstances. And like someone in the forum said (thanks dude), I’m not advocating going into an interview and saying f-this, and f-that, and ch-this, and ch-that. What I’m saying is that these people are trying to see if they like you or not. A job is just as much about being part of the team as it is about being good at your job, and in some places being part of the team is MORE important than being good at your job. I worked in a place here in Dallas where they hired mainly on the basis of personality and would train you to do whatever they needed. I guess they felt it was easier to send you to SQL classes than it was to get King Arthur to pull that stick lodged in your… well you get the idea.
So if you don’t feel comfortable cursing at all, then Don’t. But don’t get that upset when I say it’s not always the end of the world. If you do decide to curse however, then stick with the guidelines I gave in the first part of this piece and you’ll be fine. And no, I don’t just walk into a room and start cursing, esp in an interview. But I do follow their lead, and if they’re cursing up a storm, I’ll throw a few out there as well because I want them to know I’m relaxed and I’m able to fit in even in a tense situation like an interview. There have been plenty of interviews where I didn’t feel comfortable cursing… even when the interviewer himself was using some pretty foul language. It’s really all about the rapport you establish between you.
Sean McCown
Watch my free SQL Server Tutorials at:
http://MidnightDBA.com
Blog Author of:
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Steve,
Your response was a giant disapointment. You didn't tell us what ch*** is? What's up with that. Huge let down. I'm surprised they let you post here.
Please man, inquiring minds have to know.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore RooseveltAuthor of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning -
Me too... (and I know a lot of them)
Imagination is more important than knowledge.– Albert Einstein
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Classic. I don't care if a person is a gay Christian individual working for the League for Peanut's Rights, that person still doesn't have the right to assume no one will be offended.
Everett Wilson
ewilson10@yahoo.com -
Sean here again...
ch isn't anything... i just threw that in there to be funny and make you think for a sec... i ran that one my my wife before i sent the article out and i could tell when she got to that part cause she cocked her head to the side and just sat there... that's when i knew succeeded.
Sean McCown
Watch my free SQL Server Tutorials at:
http://MidnightDBA.com
Blog Author of:
DBA Rant – http://www.MidnightDBA.com/DBARantMinion Maintenance is FREE:
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I'm glad Sean posted already all the things that I wanted to say. I've just read the article and it was obvious his stuff is from the real world, not the posturing that many people are getting uptight about. IT tends to have the swearing that people talk about and the big key to succeeding is to have people be comfortable around you.
I've followed the rule of not cursing until they do, but then I found that they followed the same rule. I had a co-worker thank me the first time I swore so that she felt free to do the same. What seemed to work best was put out a pilot balloon of something like "and then that just turned to sh*t". See how it floats. As Sean said, if it doesn't work, stop it.
And people very often feel VERY uncomfortable about the religious stuff. Its not said because then it could open up a whole new can of crap, but it is NEVER okay to bring that stuff up. Not to say you can't ask where someone's going for Christmas, but it doesn't belong in the workplace. You can still be a good person and not hang crucifixes anywhere.
A good rule of thumb: you can hang our symbol if someone can hang pentagrams and descriptions of how to sacrifice a goat during their holiday season (Halloween?). Otherwise its placing values on religions.
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Let's see, cursing is good, but religion is bad. Would it be ok to say "holy shit" during an interview?
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She wasn't canned for her beliefs; she was canned for putting her beliefs into company reports.
What if the reports were for Muslims, Jewish people, or atheist?
If she were my employee and putting any kind of religious beliefs into reports for my company, I would have fired her too.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.– Albert Einstein
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I have worked in the software and database development arena for over 25 years and wherever I have worked, it has always been considered unprofessional to curse in the workplace. It's offensive and completely unnecessary for anyone with a reasonably good handle on his/her temper and vocabulary. Many people are as offended by cursing as Sean is offended by "God bless you." Neither type of self-expression is appropriate in an interview situation, by the interviewee OR the interviewer.
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Offended? Who cares if someone get offended? What can you really do about it anyway? People get offended at absolutely anything.
I wrote a piece a while back in SQL Server Standard on GUIDs . I had guys writing me actually cursing me out for daring to offend them by saying GUIDs weren't to be used at clustered PKs. Apparently you can't even talk about tech issues without offending someone. So as for offending people, I've stopped trying to please everyone. You either like me or you don't, but I'm always me.
Surprisingly enough, I get more emails from people saying they like the humor and they're tired of the same old dry material than I do from people wanting me dead.
But if you guys think it's so easy, then let's see what you come up with. You'll always offend someone because someone has always made the exact decision you're preaching against, and you're somehow calling them an idiot by writing that it's not a good idea.
The main goals I have when I write a piece are:
1. Have something to say.
2. Be entertaining.
3. Be myself.
4. Spark conversation.
Because let's be honest... if nobody's talking about your material, then nobody's reading it.
Now, what I can always expect is this:
1. Someone will always disagree with your findings.
2. Someone always doesn't like the tone of the piece... no matter what it is.
3. Somebody will always get offended.
Ain't writing grand?
Sean McCown
Watch my free SQL Server Tutorials at:
http://MidnightDBA.com
Blog Author of:
DBA Rant – http://www.MidnightDBA.com/DBARantMinion Maintenance is FREE:
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Sean,
Since we're on the subject of professionalism, please look up the difference between your and you're. Better yet, read "Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation" by Lynne Truss (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1592400876/103-6836900-5735855?v=glance).
If you're going to preach to people to "talk the talk", you better "walk the walk".
cheers,
Norm
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