How about some fun

  • Scalable:

    Writes stored procedures with huge number of parameters mostly of sqlvariant type to cover all bases,

    most of the parameters are never used.

    Leaves code commented out in the middle of stored procedure, because he got an 'idea'.

    Uses sp_executesql often to construct monstrous strings of sql code.

    He/She is deeply convinced that everything can be done by writing more sql code

    Paranoid:

    Creates stored procedure for every select statement he ever used

    Writes functions for custom string manipulations because .net libraries can't be trusted

    Creates code for checking gaps in identity column range and inserts records into the 'free' space

    Data model changes have to be approved by him and undergo by rigorous scrutiny

    Happy

    Performs 'minor' changes directly on the production servers

    Creates overcomplicated sa password which he forgets

    Creates indexes just because there are columns in the table

    Every server has different version of the data model, which he 'updates' on a daily bases

  • Sad:

    Just found out why it was so important to back up the database master key.

    Forgot to put a WHERE clause on a DELETE/UPDATE.

    Selfish:

    Implements something in LIVE 5 minutes before leaving for a 2 week vacation.

  • nice.... looks like the most people are pretty dry here....

  • Perfect:-

    Proper db backups. Spot on query optimizations. Regular and proper db maintenace. expert in high availability, configuration and all other hi-end stuff. (Where do u get such a person). :alien:

    "Keep Trying"

  • haha...not really....

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