November 13, 2017 at 9:04 pm
Comments posted to this topic are about the item Holiday parties: Do you love them or hate them?
November 14, 2017 at 1:48 am
Many of us who are limited company contractors in the UK consider our IR35 tax status before accepting invitations to corporate events, Christmas parties or away days since they are employee perks and we do not wish to be seen as employees.
Apart from that there are all the problems of late night transport - if I stay for a party, I have to find a hotel nearby in the city (expensive) or stay sober and drive an hour plus home which makes it no fun.
And the old adage applies - you can choose your friends but not your colleagues!
November 14, 2017 at 2:02 am
As a non drinker it can be quite tedious spending an evening with drunk people.
November 14, 2017 at 2:17 am
funbi - Tuesday, November 14, 2017 2:02 AMAs a non drinker it can be quite tedious spending an evening with drunk people.
As a drinker, I can tell you it's not as tedious as spending an evening with a teetotaller!
November 14, 2017 at 2:35 am
allinadazework - Tuesday, November 14, 2017 2:17 AMfunbi - Tuesday, November 14, 2017 2:02 AMAs a non drinker it can be quite tedious spending an evening with drunk people.
As a drinker, I can tell you it's not as tedious as spending an evening with a teetotaller!
Touché 😛
November 14, 2017 at 6:26 am
Yes we have "holiday" "parties". No, I don't attend for multiple reasons.
I like to keep work and personal life separate. (Thankfully there's usually a schedule conflict with the busy season.) It's really not a party if coworkers and management are present, it's a work event that's not relaxing. (It's a trap!) And at two of the last company holiday parties I went to, a member of upper management got wasted and insulted most of my coworkers.
I'd rather spend the evening at home, safe from the crazy holiday drunk drivers and drunk coworkers/executives.
November 14, 2017 at 7:54 am
Many years ago my wife and I discovered our youngest son's love of "The Italian Job" DVD may not have been appropriate when he told his Grandpa that he "was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off"!
He never had any interest in normal childrens TV and the only DVD that remotely held his attention was a Disney's Homeward Bound III. A story about a cat, a labrador and a pug struggling across America to find their owners.
You can't go wrong with a Disney DVD we thought. What possible harm can come from a cat, a labrador and a pug.
The company I was working for at the time held a summer BBQ party to which family members were invited. It was actually quite a good event and everything went well until the owner of the company came over to chat. Looking down at my son he asked "Hello Ben, what do you think of this"? he asked.
"You're a flat faced butt sniffer" my son replied.
And that is why I don't attend works family events.
November 14, 2017 at 8:06 am
David.Poole - Tuesday, November 14, 2017 7:54 AMMany years ago my wife and I discovered our youngest son's love of "The Italian Job" DVD may not have been appropriate when he told his Grandpa that he "was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off"!He never had any interest in normal childrens TV and the only DVD that remotely held his attention was a Disney's Homeward Bound III. A story about a cat, a labrador and a pug struggling across America to find their owners.
You can't go wrong with a Disney DVD we thought. What possible harm can come from a cat, a labrador and a pug.The company I was working for at the time held a summer BBQ party to which family members were invited. It was actually quite a good event and everything went well until the owner of the company came over to chat. Looking down at my son he asked "Hello Ben, what do you think of this"? he asked.
"You're a flat faced butt sniffer" my son replied.And that is why I don't attend works family events.
That is one of the most amazing and funny reasons I have ever heard of why not to attend. Although I assume your son is older and perhaps would not say such things to the owner of the company anymore. Still a great story, thanks for sharing it.
Ben
November 14, 2017 at 8:16 am
I am one of those introverts, but I also work with some people I really enjoy being around. I prefer to go to the Christmas party, eat the free dinner, enjoy some free drinks, spend 30 minutes to an hour catching up with some people, and then head out. Keep it short and sweet. This year I'm hoping to leave "early" and go see Star Wars. Take advantage of having a babysitter!
Be still, and know that I am God - Psalm 46:10
November 14, 2017 at 8:28 am
I won't be going to my work Christmas party this year. I'm the only woman in a team of men, and although they're good guys and we get along well, I often end up being excluded. Plus I'd have to buy something to wear, go out on a cold night, and get a taxi home. (Yeah, I'm an introvert :D.)
November 14, 2017 at 8:59 am
I've never worked for any company that had Christmas parties involving "adult beverages", so getting drunk or not was never an issue.
All the companies I worked for always had the holiday party during working hours. Don't know why, but they did/do.
For the most part, I enjoy the parties. At my previous job since it was such a small company spending time with anyone was spending time with those you normally spent time with. At my current job there's over 3000 employees, so there's lots of opportunity mingle with someone you don't know too well. Also, these Christmas parties are basically required attendance. So, there's little getting out of it. At least not for me.
By the way, I consider myself more of an ambivert.
Kindest Regards, Rod Connect with me on LinkedIn.
November 14, 2017 at 9:11 am
Rod at work - Tuesday, November 14, 2017 8:59 AMI've never worked for any company that had Christmas parties involving "adult beverages", so getting drunk or not was never an issue.All the companies I worked for always had the holiday party during working hours. Don't know why, but they did/do.
For the most part, I enjoy the parties. At my previous job since it was such a small company spending time with anyone was spending time with those you normally spent time with. At my current job there's over 3000 employees, so there's lots of opportunity mingle with someone you don't know too well. Also, these Christmas parties are basically required attendance. So, there's little getting out of it. At least not for me.
By the way, I consider myself more of an ambivert.
So if you don't attend what happens? They require attendance since it is during work hours? It seems like if someone really didn't like such events they could just take a sick day or something?
Ben
November 14, 2017 at 10:27 am
For a large or geographically distributed organization, these yearly holiday events are perhaps the only opportunity you have see some of your coworkers in person or at least to have informal conversation with them. It may also be the only opportunity you have to meet the CEO or other higher level non-IT management. That's all good, but you'll want to keep that in mind before pouring that 4th drink.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
November 14, 2017 at 10:32 am
bkubicek - Monday, November 13, 2017 9:04 PMNow, I think they have to be labeled Holiday parties so no one is offended. Sometimes people are too easily offended.
Using "holiday" instead of Christmas didn't come about because people were offended, but rather because companies wanted to be more inclusive.
If you have a company of 300 people, of which some may not be practicing Christians, and you call it a Christmas party, you're deliberately choosing to ignore the traditions & faith of anyone for whom celebrating Jesus is definitely not part of their beliefs. Now, maybe they don't care. Or do care, but wouldn't say anything. Either way, the inclusive thing to do is not call it a Christmas party. (Especially with many other perfectly acceptable options: holiday party, end of year party, December celebration, etc.)
In the same way, if you have a team of 10 men, and then a woman joins the team, continuing to refer to the team as "Gentlemen" would not be the inclusive thing to do, regardless or not of whether she is offended. Being inclusive is the minimum you can do to make a person feel welcome.
Saying "sometimes people are too easily offended" suggests that you don't like the change and that you blame people who are not like you for forcing the change upon you. It's a privileged position to take, especially since the alternatives don't exclude you (or anyone) in the same way that Christmas does. Having to say "Everyone" instead of "Gentleman" isn't a personal slight, no matter how long "Gentleman" has been the tradition.
I'll agree that sometimes, particularly in the US, things can get silly, where holiday becomes a euphemism for Christmas. But the sentiment behind using the word "holiday" is one I can't object to.
Leonard
Madison, WI
November 14, 2017 at 10:47 am
phonetictalk - Tuesday, November 14, 2017 10:32 AMbkubicek - Monday, November 13, 2017 9:04 PMNow, I think they have to be labeled Holiday parties so no one is offended. Sometimes people are too easily offended.Using "holiday" instead of Christmas didn't come about because people were offended, but rather because companies wanted to be more inclusive.
If you have a company of 300 people, of which 2 are Muslim & 1 is Jewish, and you organize a Christmas party, you're deliberately choosing to ignore the traditions & faith of the 3 people for whom celebrating Jesus is not part of their faith. Now, maybe they don't care. Or do care, but wouldn't say anything. Either way, the inclusive thing to do is not call it a Christmas party. (Especially with many other perfectly acceptable options: holiday party, end of year party, December celebration, etc.)
In the same way, if you have a team of 10 men, and then a woman joins the team, continuing to refer to the team as "Gentlemen" would not be the inclusive thing to do, regardless or not of whether she is offended. Being inclusive is the minimum you can do to make a person feel welcome.
Saying "sometimes people are too easily offended" suggests that you don't like the change and that you blame people who are not like you for forcing the change upon you. It's a privileged position to take, especially since the alternatives don't exclude you (or anyone) in the same way that Christmas does. Having to say "Everyone" instead of "Gentleman" isn't a personal slight, no matter how long "Gentleman" has been the tradition.
I'll agree that sometimes, particularly in the US, things can get silly, where holiday becomes a euphemism for Christmas. But the sentiment behind using the word "holiday" is one I can't object to.
You make some good points. Just to be clear I don't have any issues with Muslim or Jewish people. It has more to do with that the inclusiveness doesn't fit. For example, the Muslim month of Ramadan moves from year to year. This year it was in June, next year it will be in May. In five years after that it will be in December. So it doesn't exactly match up with Christmas. The Jewish Hanukkah is at least a little closer it lasts a week and is usually in December. It is sort of funny that you mention celebrating Jesus on Christmas since I think very few people in the U.S. actually do that. It has become much more about Santa Claus and presents. Another interesting point is that Jesus was most likely born in the Summer, not in December.
I guess it would be interesting to know if Jewish or Muslims are bothered by it being called a Christmas party or not.
I do agree with your comments on a team still being called Gentlemen when there is a women on the team.
Anyway, I appreciate your point of view. Thanks for posting.
Ben
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