May 14, 2015 at 4:22 am
After this work week, I need a serious dose of humor. So I'm starting this thread in the hopes that I can get some entertainment out of it. Be warned, I mean this thread to sarcastic and funny (not serious in the slightest).
So what are the most ridiculous "SQL Server interview questions and answers" that we can come up with?
My first example is "Keeping in mind that the boss is lactose intolerant, what lunch would you bring to the office every day?"
May 14, 2015 at 4:31 am
Best milkshakes ever. I don't like that boss very much.
May 14, 2015 at 4:33 am
pietlinden (5/14/2015)
Best milkshakes ever. I don't like that boss very much.
And we're OFF TO THE RACES! Thank you. I did get a chuckle out of that.
May 14, 2015 at 1:09 pm
You receive a late call during the night to inform you that the server is down and must be working correctly before everyone arrives in the morning. How many cups of coffee will you need to have available?
May 14, 2015 at 1:11 pm
Well since he is lactose intolerant, I would offer that we make a dairy free chocolate brownie laced with ex-lax. That way s/he can remain occupied long enough for us to get work done.
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
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May 14, 2015 at 1:14 pm
Luis Cazares (5/14/2015)
You receive a late call during the night to inform you that the server is down and must be working correctly before everyone arrives in the morning. How many cups of coffee will you need to have available?
When I finally look at my silenced phone at 9:00AM during scrum, I'll let you know. 😛
Next question:
How would you describe the differences between being "Loyal" to a company and "Dedicated" to a company? Heh... The answer will be provided either at 2AM tomorrow morning or sometime after 9 tomorrow morning. It depends on when I run out of coffee. :w00t:
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
May 14, 2015 at 2:59 pm
Luis Cazares (5/14/2015)
You receive a late call during the night to inform you that the server is down and must be working correctly before everyone arrives in the morning. How many cups of coffee will you need to have available?
No cups of coffee. Just as many glasses of red wine as it takes to get me back to sleep after dealing with this interruption or, as the case may be, deferring until tomorrow.
Tom
May 14, 2015 at 3:20 pm
Here's an interview question:
Name 10 of the parameters for DBCC TimeWarp. 😛
I'd seriously consider asking a DBCC TimeWarp question at an interview, just to see how the person would handle it.
For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]
May 14, 2015 at 3:32 pm
Define "working correctly".
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
May 14, 2015 at 3:39 pm
You are quite skilled as a DBA/Developer/whatever and that is what the job requirement stated. However, we really need someone that can maintain computers. How do you feel about that?
-SQLBill
May 14, 2015 at 7:28 pm
TomThomson (5/14/2015)
Luis Cazares (5/14/2015)
You receive a late call during the night to inform you that the server is down and must be working correctly before everyone arrives in the morning. How many cups of coffee will you need to have available?No cups of coffee. Just as many glasses of red wine as it takes to get me back to sleep after dealing with this interruption or, as the case may be, deferring until tomorrow.
Hired!
May 14, 2015 at 7:49 pm
Eric M Russell (5/14/2015)
Define "working correctly".
Easy... it doesn't automatically call me at 3 in the morning even if it broke. 😛
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
May 14, 2015 at 7:51 pm
SQLBill (5/14/2015)
You are quite skilled as a DBA/Developer/whatever and that is what the job requirement stated. However, we really need someone that can maintain computers. How do you feel about that?-SQLBill
No problem. Where do you keep the hammers? And, if you have a 3rd floor, I can even demonstrate how to increase the velocity of a computer. 😛
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
May 14, 2015 at 7:54 pm
Alvin Ramard (5/14/2015)
Here's an interview question:Name 10 of the parameters for DBCC TimeWarp. 😛
I'd seriously consider asking a DBCC TimeWarp question at an interview, just to see how the person would handle it.
DBCC has 137 parameters but has been deprecated. We are now encouraged to use the new "ALTER LIFE" command but it only has 5 parameters, two of which were almost immediately deprecated as being too useful in the latest service pack.
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
May 14, 2015 at 7:59 pm
TomThomson (5/14/2015)
Luis Cazares (5/14/2015)
You receive a late call during the night to inform you that the server is down and must be working correctly before everyone arrives in the morning. How many cups of coffee will you need to have available?No cups of coffee. Just as many glasses of red wine as it takes to get me back to sleep after dealing with this interruption or, as the case may be, deferring until tomorrow.
That reminds me of a great one... which type of wine bottle would make an acceptable substitute as a manhole cover for a Reuleaux manhole?
Correct answer... an empty one! 😛
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
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