May 7, 2010 at 9:30 am
BloatWare - a simple, elegant prototype that suffered feature creep and has had so many tassels hung off it that it requires a 64 bit multiprocessor with 8gb RAM to run... (see VISTA)
May 7, 2010 at 9:34 am
Where I used to work, any code that had worked but now was being revisited was "apart on the garage floor"...I'd show you that feature, but it's apart on the garage floor right now....
May 7, 2010 at 9:35 am
Wallace Wood (5/7/2010)
Spaghetti Code has already been mentioned. And it did/does exist (read legacy). An anecdote:...
The answer to the question, 'Is there some reason that this needs to written in such a convoluted manner was; "Job security." Needless to say that system was never deployed.
:angry: One hopes that Building Security were called to place his butt in a sling at this point.
May 7, 2010 at 9:38 am
When debugging existing code, this a common response from support:
It is "Working as Designed"
1. This is what the code is supposed to do based on original expectations.
OR
2. Yes it is broke. It does not work as you might expect (which we are aware of and probably agree with), but this is how we "planned" for it to work so live it or request additional changes
May 7, 2010 at 9:53 am
Chris Jackson-371542 (5/7/2010)
When debugging existing code, this a common response from support:It is "Working as Designed"
1. This is what the code is supposed to do based on original expectations.
OR
2. Yes it is broke. It does not work as you might expect (which we are aware of and probably agree with), but this is how we "planned" for it to work so live it or request additional changes
This sounds a lot like the phrase I have to repeat a lot...
"It does exactly what you asked for, unfortunately what you asked for is not really what you wanted." 😛
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May 7, 2010 at 9:58 am
"Ideally Suboptimal"
describes the exact balance point between functionally good enough to call it finished and all the extra work required to make it perfect. Any less effort would obviously fail to satisfy the requirements; any more effort won't be appreciated anyway. It's become a design goal.
May 7, 2010 at 10:09 am
We use the term "idiot-proof". Never get there. They always find bigger idiots.
May 7, 2010 at 10:14 am
GHOST bugs in code - can't be re-produced, but appear occasionally on a completely random basis. Who ya gonna call?
Steph Brown
May 7, 2010 at 10:14 am
"steaming pile of bytes" describes, well... what you think it describes. Usually the result of the first couple of weeks of frenetic activity on a proof-of-concept.
If the resulting prototype is used to inform a conversation leading to a proper spec, then it was "compost."
If the prototype gets band-aided and shipped, it's the other thing. 😉
May 7, 2010 at 10:14 am
I've always used SNL's "Not yet ready for Prime-time."
If you've read through to here and missed "Fartware", go back and find it. The explanation is beautiful.
May 7, 2010 at 10:16 am
Nuke-ware: Only certain features actually work. press the wrong button, or in the wrong order, and the whole thing may crash/fail/take down the network/cause people to run screaming from the building........
May 7, 2010 at 10:24 am
A few of my favorites from software that I have seen and installed over my time.
"An Interface only the Developer could Love or Understand" - refers to software that looks so bad, so inconsistent, so poorly concieved that no one can use it without a mountain of documentation (which often isn't provided) or hours on the phone with that companies support people that it really isn't worth the trouble. Even then the software only does the simple things in 12 steps and the complicated ones take a Ph.D. almost.
"GarageWare" - often utility programs that get pushed into production use that look like they were developed by one person with a hangover in the garage on the weekend.
May 7, 2010 at 10:43 am
An old one: “Spaghetti code” - when you’re reading it, it’s hard to follow the flow of control. The nemesis of structured programming, caused by GOTO.
Cargo cult programming - "characterized by the ritual inclusion of code or program structures that serve no real purpose." (definition from Wikipedia and several other online sources).
Pathological – usually, code that has just gotten sicker over time.
The Hacker’s Dictionary is a source for many more colorful terms.
Have a good weekend.
May 7, 2010 at 11:34 am
And the winner is: (sounds like) NOWHERE:hehe:
May 7, 2010 at 11:51 am
I've always liked this disclaimer (from another developer at our company):
"It may still have some sharp edges," roughly to describe code that gives the right output from the (possibly limited) test cases the developer / designer came up with, but hasn't been banged on by testers or end users yet. Basically, it's a prototype, or maybe a quick-fix utility program. There are probably "sharp edges" that'll need to be filed down before it can be put into a production environment without risk of injury.
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