May 7, 2010 at 6:07 am
Unfortunately I don't have any funny names for code.
I do have two quasi-funny phrases that are used around here, a lot, too much.
The first, is a joke, say it, everyone laughs:
"This <insert change or new set of code here> should be invisible to the end user"
The other is delivered seriously (if you're an idiot) or as a joke (when referring to the idiots):
"We're not building Amazon.com here"
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
May 7, 2010 at 6:24 am
Clay Model
May 7, 2010 at 6:25 am
“Unspecified Usage” – Not design for any real use, et. use at your own risk.
(And yes this is in all of M.S. end user agreement)
May 7, 2010 at 6:33 am
Mostly I write Septic-ware, since it deals with "nasty data". 😛
May 7, 2010 at 6:43 am
Fartware - the system stinks and hot air definitely contributed to the development process. Everyone pretends they had nothing to do with it afterwards and hope people just forget about it. They end up blaming the dog (lousy programmer that was fired/quit a couple months ago). Example - "One the developer figured out he was building fartware, he started looking for a new place to work."
May 7, 2010 at 6:45 am
Elegant. It does happen sometimes.
May 7, 2010 at 6:49 am
My favorite is sofware that is "Not ready for Prime Time". This would be software that's done, but hasn't been reviewed by QA. It doesn't have proper design specs for review and is missing end user documentation. Most of the "special" projects I work on fall into this area because of the nature of the projects.
May 7, 2010 at 6:56 am
"Google-code": Search. Copy. Paste. Test. If it works the first time, it must be production ready. This type of coding is usually done by the following person:
"Sample Assembler": Programmer with no real knowledge of software or software practices, but who constructs systems using samples and google-coding practices. This always results in the following systems:
"House of Cards": You get the idea. If you touch it, the whole system collapses.
Enjoy!
May 7, 2010 at 7:02 am
// commentware
// where there is more
// commented-out code
// than there is
// actual stuff
// that does any work!!!
May 7, 2010 at 7:10 am
I've used "kitchen sink" code where the user wants the page to have everything but the kitchen sink on it.
May 7, 2010 at 7:13 am
Pilot
The salesman made a promise to the customer, new code is developed to meet the promise, a new hardware package is created and it is all done in a rush with no thorough testing.
As an added bonus, we don't get paid unless the customer is 100% satisfied!
May 7, 2010 at 7:14 am
I like to say that "I haven't put the bugs in yet" to code I haven't tested yet -
Ed
May 7, 2010 at 7:14 am
My favorite is Flingware. I always picture monkeys, but it came from "throwing something against the wall and seeing if it sticks".
May 7, 2010 at 7:19 am
most of mine have been taken, but I have a semi-clean story.
I was working with the Army on a FileNet project that had a SQL backend. All the FileNet tech's, people on message boards, the sub contractor and Staff Seargent I worked with , and the naming convention of the Database and the Tables all used the acronym "FN" to refer to FileNet. It had been an intense couple of days working on a Prod system crash with some loooong hours.
So I walked into a meeting with our Lead Developer, Project Manager, and Network Chief and various other Army and Governmental folks And proceeded to say things like "The FN system is broke, The FN reps suggest this, based on the results of the FN system here are the FN results we are seeing. If we do this, this, and this we can get the FN system working."
I look up from what I had drawn on the wipe board and most everyone has tears in their eyes choking back laughter and the Network Chief says very loudly "FN YEAH, lets get that FN system working!"
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May 7, 2010 at 7:22 am
Bradley B (5/7/2010)
most of mine have been taken, but I have a semi-clean story.I was working with the Army on a FileNet project that had a SQL backend. All the FileNet tech's, people on message boards, the sub contractor and Staff Seargent I worked with , and the naming convention of the Database and the Tables all used the acronym "FN" to refer to FileNet. It had been an intense couple of days working on a Prod system crash with some loooong hours.
So I walked into a meeting with our Lead Developer, Project Manager, and Network Chief and various other Army and Governmental folks And proceeded to say things like "The FN system is broke, The FN reps suggest this, based on the results of the FN system here are the FN results we are seeing. If we do this, this, and this we can get the FN system working."
I look up from what I had drawn on the wipe board and most everyone has tears in their eyes choking back laughter and the Network Chief says very loudly "FN YEAH, lets get that FN system working!"
EXCELLENT!
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
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