Fitting In
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Comments posted to this topic are about the item Fitting In
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Adapt to the dress code? Watch before you form alliances? Sounds a lot like prison to me. I agree that one should adapt to the work place but I think you are exaggerating. Work places need different kinds of people, not phony chameleons who become whatever situation they are in.
/@devandreas
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andreas.agren (7/19/2011)
Adapt to the dress code? Watch before you form alliances? Sounds a lot like prison to me. I agree that one should adapt to the work place but I think you are exaggerating. Work places need different kinds of people, not phony chameleons who become whatever situation they are in.I'd suggest that "Sounds a lot like prison to me" is exaggeration far more than anything in the article. The bullet points don't seem to be intended as rules so much as guidelines; Andy calls them "tricks". For instance, adapting to dress code doesn't mean mimicry; it just means you temper your choices to avoid clashing. It's no different than speaking more softly when dealing with someone who's nervous or shy. It's simply the natural adaptation of behaviour to fit surroundings that goes with being a social animal.
Overall, looking through the article, I see pointers everywhere that basically suggest you should think about everyone else first rather than expect the world to revolve around you. Good, sound advice if you ask me, and not just applicable at work.
Semper in excretia, suus solum profundum variat
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So work is not like prison then? Well, fair enough, you can pick up the soap quite safely but otherwise not far off - though I genuinely enjoy my work. I'd probably get along OK in prison though - all that time for reading? Brilliant :w00t:
I think for me about 3 years though. I think development is a tricky beast though and I am very socially inept. I should have appreciated that list on occasion I must admit. Dev teams seem to be a mass of smouldering resentments and insecurities, unless I am just very sensitive.
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majorbloodnock (7/19/2011)
andreas.agren (7/19/2011)
Adapt to the dress code? Watch before you form alliances? Sounds a lot like prison to me. I agree that one should adapt to the work place but I think you are exaggerating. Work places need different kinds of people, not phony chameleons who become whatever situation they are in.I'd suggest that "Sounds a lot like prison to me" is exaggeration far more than anything in the article. The bullet points don't seem to be intended as rules so much as guidelines; Andy calls them "tricks". For instance, adapting to dress code doesn't mean mimicry; it just means you temper your choices to avoid clashing. It's no different than speaking more softly when dealing with someone who's nervous or shy. It's simply the natural adaptation of behaviour to fit surroundings that goes with being a social animal.
Overall, looking through the article, I see pointers everywhere that basically suggest you should think about everyone else first rather than expect the world to revolve around you. Good, sound advice if you ask me, and not just applicable at work.
First of all, the bullet points are neither rules nor guidelines, they're the editors opinions, nothing else.
I don't agree that dressing like everyone else to fit in and speaking softly with someone who is shy is the same. The first is changing yourself to fit in, and the latter is just social competence (which imo is an important characteristic). And no, I'm not a goth, just a standard jeans and t-shirt guy.
I think it's a bad idea to think this way. Of course, if everyone is going in their own direction then we problably won't get anything done. But dressing equally? Forming alliances with the "right people"? No, this is too much and will just create a gray mass. In the long run I fear that this kind of thinking will cause innovation and freedom to suffer.
/@devandreas
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andreas.agren (7/19/2011)
majorbloodnock (7/19/2011)
andreas.agren (7/19/2011)
Adapt to the dress code? Watch before you form alliances? Sounds a lot like prison to me. I agree that one should adapt to the work place but I think you are exaggerating. Work places need different kinds of people, not phony chameleons who become whatever situation they are in.I'd suggest that "Sounds a lot like prison to me" is exaggeration far more than anything in the article. The bullet points don't seem to be intended as rules so much as guidelines; Andy calls them "tricks". For instance, adapting to dress code doesn't mean mimicry; it just means you temper your choices to avoid clashing. It's no different than speaking more softly when dealing with someone who's nervous or shy. It's simply the natural adaptation of behaviour to fit surroundings that goes with being a social animal.
Overall, looking through the article, I see pointers everywhere that basically suggest you should think about everyone else first rather than expect the world to revolve around you. Good, sound advice if you ask me, and not just applicable at work.
First of all, the bullet points are neither rules nor guidelines, they're the editors opinions, nothing else.
You're quite right. I should have been more explicit. What I should have said instead is that the bullet points are, I believe, intended by the author to be guidelines rather than rules. Let's not forget, though, that any guidelines are only someone's opinion. In this case, I think they're good enough sense that if someone adopts them as guidelines, they won't go too far wrong.
I don't agree that dressing like everyone else to fit in and speaking softly with someone who is shy is the same. The first is changing yourself to fit in, and the latter is just social competence (which imo is an important characteristic). And no, I'm not a goth, just a standard jeans and t-shirt guy.
I didn't say anything about dressing like everyone else, and nor did Andy. The implication is that you should avoid dressing in an antagonistic way, and that's a very different thing. If the prevailing attitude is smart casual, then dress in your approximation of smart casual. If your interpretation is different from everyone else's, you've found a clue that the company may not be for you after all. There's no question of supressing your identity in that kind of approach, and that's why I draw (and stick to) the parallel of how you moderate your voice to suit your audience.
I think it's a bad idea to think this way. Of course, if everyone is going in their own direction then we problably won't get anything done. But dressing equally? Forming alliances with the "right people"? No, this is too much and will just create a gray mass. In the long run I fear that this kind of thinking will cause innovation and freedom to suffer.
Yes, it's very bad to think in terms of trying to make everyone the same. However, I think you're being a little free with interpretation to read that into this article. Fitting in and (clichéd Star Trek reference here) being assimilated are not the same thing. However, fitting in will involve you altering aspects of your behaviour, and it's worth remembering that the rest of the team will also alter to accommodate you. If you can't accept a certain amount of compromise without feeling it's a threat on your individuality, the problem doesn't lie with the team.
Semper in excretia, suus solum profundum variat
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I've been with my current company for 10 years and I still don't seem to fit in with everyone else.
The previous company was for 11 years and I never fit in.
I suppose it's because I refuse to conform to what everyone else does. As an example, most people communicate through communicator and I refuse to use that application as it is distracting to me. I request everyone to send me emails instead. Every time I leave communicator up, people are always sending me junk like "How are you doing?" but they never do that via email.
Dress code? I'm currently working from home in my pajamas. I'll change into something else later in the morning.
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Andy is simply sharing what works for him. This may or may not be useful for anyone else.
There is a difference between "fitting in" as in "becoming part of the crowd (problem?)" and "fitting in" as in "working effectively with your colleagues”. There is also a difference between “standing out” because you are socially inept vs. “standing out” because you have self-confidence and are getting results.
Andy’s comments could be applied, not just to the workplace, but to any new environment you move into (new job, new neighborhood, new church, new school, etc.). Pay attention to what is going on around you, show respect for the people and culture who were there before you, then quietly start being effective at getting results, whatever those may be. As you become effective, people will notice and will come to you wanting to know how you did what you did. That is your opportunity to start shaping a new, more effective/efficient/productive/enjoyable culture.
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since switching to contracting 3 years ago, I've found fitting in and becoming part of the team much quicker and easier to do. on average, it'll take me around 1-2 weeks to get up and running and settled.
Life: it twists and turns like a twisty turny thing
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call.copse (7/19/2011)
Dev teams seem to be a mass of smouldering resentments and insecurities, unless I am just very sensitive.Well, if you are, then I am too...I could not have said this better myself.
Fantastic summary Andy! A worthwhile roadmap I'll be referring to from time to time down the line. This one is not just for the new hires either. Team veterans who put themselves in a new hire's shoes can help ease the transition and win an ally or two that way too.
There are no special teachers of virtue, because virtue is taught by the whole community.
--Plato -
I agree with listen more, talk less...but the rest of it is just conforming. Always double check with the boss before defining your own dress code. Out for lunch everyday..in this economy????? nuts to that! if I want to bring my BB lunch and eat at my desk, tough noogies to all the others...I have a mortgage to pay! Alliances??? How about being a good employee and just doing your dam job! I do agree with his last point...help out whenever possible. The rest of it sound like you just want to be part of a clicke! BTW, 6-7 jobs in 8 years, is nothing to brag about! If I saw his resume, it would go in the trash can! Shows me he can't stick with a job or get along with others!
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Thanks for the discussion so far. I'm not advocating joining the Borg collective, in practice I think I'm genetically coded to be a non-conformist, but I also live in the real world where I need to get things done, so I try to find ways to help other people understand that my need to be different isn't about being different from them. That's a strange conversation, so the "tricks" (which don't just work for non-conformists) are things that help me show respect and build relationships.
I don't write to be provocative, just to share ideas that I think are interesting, and to drive conversation.
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joe in the falls (7/19/2011)
BTW, 6-7 jobs in 8 years, is nothing to brag about! If I saw his resume, it would go in the trash can! Shows me he can't stick with a job or get along with others!You said exactly what I was thinking. That resume wouldn't get any further with me either. He would be here about a year and then leave. Our initial investment of hiring him and the learning curve would be at risk for someone that mobile.
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The "alliances" guideline is very important, because no matter what the job, there will always be a certain amount of office politicking that will occur. This may be as important as deciding the next architectural developments (Linux vs Windows, SQL vs NoSQL) or as mundane as deciding which brand of coffee machine to put into the break room.
Jumping into a new political situation always requires a great deal of tact. At some point, you will be required to take a position and thus align yourself with a group of like-minded people. The trick here is to stand on principle rather than personality, remain professional and congenial, and be quick to smooth over ruffled feathers. It takes practice, and it is a skill that should be developed along with one's more technical expertise.
Anyone who claims to be above office politics is naive and probably doing more harm than good.
And, if you really want to fit in sooner, bring doughnuts....
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There are things not to do.
Don't get involved in other peoples' disputes. Don't take sides on personal disagreements (you may indeed take sides in technical arguments). Don't badmouth others regardless of whom you are talking to (even if talking to individuals who share a dislike of that other person) or how problematic the person is. If you have a reputation for being non-judgemental and keeping your mouth shut about personality issues, you will win the trust of both sides.
When it comes to non-conformism, there appears to be two types: Some people are inherently individualistic, they quietly do their own thing with their own style. They are often well liked. Others essentially scream 'I'm a nonconformist, I'm not like you'. Those are simply annoying
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-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers --
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