June 12, 2008 at 7:49 am
Someone asked me this question at Linkedin.com.
Do you feel comfortable to talk to your colleagues in a same way as you talk to your friends?
June 12, 2008 at 7:59 am
The answer to this is Yes and No. there are a few that I can talk to about almost anything, just as a friend. I actually consider these individuals to be friends. There are others, however, that when we talk, it is usually just about work and not much else. And I like it that way.
😎
June 12, 2008 at 8:04 am
Some of them.
With most it's a working relationship only. Some I'm happy to sit with and chat about anything and everything.
Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability
June 12, 2008 at 10:53 am
Some of them. I've gone out to eat or to the bar with co-workers that I basically refer to as friends once we start that type of behavior. Others... No. They're not bad people, but we don't get along in the same manner. I'd be surprised to see any other answer. I volunteer with the Cub Scouts. A number of adults serve on the committee. Some of them I'm friends with, others I just work with. I'm friends with some of my Masonic Brethren, the others I'm just a Brother to. Neighbors. Parents of friends of my kids. Students at the Karate Dojo. All the same. Some of them are more than "X" and others are not.
Isn't all of life like that?
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
June 12, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Lynn Pettis (6/12/2008)
The answer to this is Yes and No. there are a few that I can talk to about almost anything, just as a friend. I actually consider these individuals to be friends. There are others, however, that when we talk, it is usually just about work and not much else. And I like it that way.😎
I totally agree. There a couple of people that I'll go to lunch with (maybe the odd beer afterwork) and we shoot the breeze about anything, including a bit about work. Most others, however, I try and keep it professional, RARELY socializing with them outside of work. I'm afraid it could complicate things in the workplace to get to "friendly". Don't get me wrong, I'm not rude or anything like that to anyone, I just value my privacy more than I value close friendships with the majority of my coworkers. Besides, most of them are computer GEEKS anyway! 😛
-- You can't be late until you show up.
June 12, 2008 at 8:14 pm
> 0, < all
You need to have a friend or two, someone you can bond with socially. It doesn't have to be everyone, but it can't be no one.
June 13, 2008 at 6:55 am
It depends. I know I got burnt in my previous workplace (actually more than one) about having my colleagues as friends.
I still think it was much easier to make friends in workplace in the 80 and 90. Now you just don't know who you can trust.
Which brings up my second question? In order to have a effective IT team, you need people trust and respect each other.
I remembered one of my manager (maybe he is my friend) telling me to keep my mouth shut, you did not know who was listening to your conversation. I was talking to my friend that one of the DBA was not very good and she made a lot of mistakes and it happened she was an Indian woman. The next thing I knew someone complained to my manager that I was a racist against Indian woman. My manager refused to tell me who that person was otherwise I would file a complaint that that person was against Asian woman!!!!! In all my years of working, I never use racism even I have all the right. I got yelled by my managers but I thought that was because I was not good and I would never use my foreign status to do anything against those people.
In my previous job, before my new manager became my manager, he was the manager of other department. We had a company meeting and one of the thing in the company meeting was team building. We had a consulting company coming in to help us to do some exercise to do team building. He skipped out the meeting to take a nap because he was party all night. How could I respect and trust him?
Another one was my supervisor, in the middle of a big project, suddenly she took off and went back to India for vacation for five weeks. It was not something she planned six months ago and there was no family emergency that she had to go. She said she pretty much finished her part. When she came back, she found out the piece she was responsible for was not working well with other systems. I had to work overtime everyday until the day we put in QA. How did I respect and trust that person?
Anyway she got the job because she knew the manager. The manager left and a new director came on board. Within three months, she was on probation and demoted to be a developer.
People these days don't like to share information and knowledge because they are afraid of job security. That may be because of poor management.
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