Decoding Micro-speak

  • Comments posted to this topic are about the item Decoding Micro-speak

    Brad M. McGehee
    DBA

  • Agnostic as in software that is database agnostic, meaning it will function irrespective of the type of database used with, is a ridiculous buzzword that is also a serious misnomer.

  • Utopia - Also in a software perspective (We are progressing our software to a utopia)

    I get chills every time I hear it.

  • Evolve - as in evolution - ape to man. We use it when we sell our software to say how our system can grow over time to suit the customers needs.

    :-PManie Verster
    Developer
    Johannesburg
    South Africa

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Holy Bible
    I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. - Everett Mckinley Dirkson (Well, I am trying. - Manie Verster)

  • Rolled in - Already part of the software

    Set in stone - Fixed in code - rolled in(think writing on a granite tablet). Usually refers to parameters or a design decision that is unlikely to change.

    Bits - Executable (and associated assemblies) of a program/project. Could you send me the bits.

    Some of these have been around since mainframe/COBOL days. Have to say the latter is much younger and makes me laugh as its slang for bodily parts in these waters. Always makes my eyes water when someone asks for us to send them the bits.

    What ever happened to English, eh?!

  • To add a historical term that doesn't get used much anymore, how about 'killer app'. Back in the early days of computing, that meant an application that would cause people to purchase a computer for no other reason than to run the app. When spreadsheets were invented, it caused accountants to by Apple 2 computers. I bought my first Atari in 1985 for the word processor.

    It's not quite dead yet (to spin off of Monty Python). My mother bought a computer and uses it for only two reasons: email and solitaire.

    I raise this because it may be helpful for us to continually ask the question, "why do people use computers, really?" Most people have a very limited group of applications that make them own a computer. Identifying these functions can be very helpful in determining hardware requirements. Maybe we could come up with a name for these apps as a group? Maybe app-pack?

    ___________________________________________________
    “Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.”

  • The always amusing Raymond Chen's blog entries about Microspeak:

    http://blogs.msdn.com/oldnewthing/archive/tags/Microspeak/default.aspx

  • Shouldn't "Long Pole" be "Poll" as in "starting it going and waiting for a response"...? Otherwise there is a risk of confusion with the long [barge] pole with which we don't touch those Beta releases...

  • Low Hanging Fruit is one that I hear often related to easy to execute tasks, easily solveable problems, etc. As in, "these items that the client is requesting are low hanging fruit. Get them added and then we will look at the items that require heavy lifting." These terms are not necessarily software or IT specific but that is where I have heard them the most.

  • Utopia - Also in a software perspective (We are progressing our software to a utopia)

    What makes that buzzword extremely funny is that Utopia means "no where" :-D. Origin is from Greek where "U" means "no" and "topia" means "place" and was the title of Sir Thomas More's 1516 book about a island of perfection.

    So the phrase can be translated to "We are progressing our software to no where"

    SQL = Scarcely Qualifies as a Language

  • How about "Value Added" ? Which actually means "we only do those activities that we are obligated to perform based on the contract"

    With my collegues, I also use ADC as in 'many ADCs were discussed"

    ADC is an acronym meaning "Acronym Designed to Confuse"

    SQL = Scarcely Qualifies as a Language

  • "Big Win" is a term that has been overused where I work regarding our getting specific data into an expensive reporting system we purchased.

  • Playing in this space is one that constantly irrritates me. I think it translates as 'we are going to target this particular market sector'.

    Others are leveraging which is most cases can be placed by the rather more mundane word 'use', silo-based which always reminds me of that cult 1980s movie Wargames and

    performant - an entriely made up word that means 'to perform better' as in 'we need to produce a more performant version of this software'.

    One thing I've noticed is that buzzword bingo becomes more prevalent the higher up an organisation one goes, until at the very top conversations are all but unintelligible!!

  • As a former Microsoft employee, I have to disagree with your definition of "long pole." In my group it was always understood to mean the item in the schedule that (usually by virtue of length) determined how long the entire schedule was going to take. Another word for "critical path."

    "If we hire another two engineers we can do tasks A and B in parallel. But C and D have to be done sequentially, so that's our long pole."

  • Long pole at Boeing always meant the part of the project that was behind. Think of a tent, what's holding it up? The Long Pole. Schedule what's holding up completetion ---> The long pole.

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