Burned Out?
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Craig Farrell (11/15/2010)
The worst for me is emotional burnout. You're so busy doing ten million things you realize you haven't called your best friend in 6 months and your girlfriend no longer remembers if you prefer meat sauce on the Italian food. Then you look ahead to everything you still need to do and just can't find the time it's going to take to fix all that.That sounds familiar. Very familiar.
... paint models
I used to do computer graphics. Had no time for that for quite a while. I do need to start again, but.... no time.
Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
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GilaMonster (11/15/2010)
WayneS (11/15/2010)
The last time I had a major burn out phase, it took over 6 months.For me it was closer on 18 months, and I'm not sure it's over even now.
18 months is a long time. I am fighting hard to turn my burnout phase around. Attending SQLSat recently helped. Volunteering helps. The watercooler helps (though I have been absent there a bit too), commiserating helps, best cures for me are basketball and running.
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
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GilaMonster (11/15/2010)
WayneS (11/15/2010)
The last time I had a major burn out phase, it took over 6 months.For me it was closer on 18 months, and I'm not sure it's over even now.
For me it was 3-4 months, followed by 9 months in school.
During those 3-4 months I realized that my main problem was I hated what my job had become. I ended up quitting my Engineering job and enrolling in a 9 month IT program. I'm much happier now.
Alvin Ramard
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GilaMonster (11/15/2010)
Jack Corbett (11/15/2010)
I was actually counting on the Summit to get me going.Be careful. In Grant's case it may help, but in mine attending a conference just made things worse, way, way worse. Depends...
For me, pass conferences have been short term help. At first it's time to relax and enjoy the new information; love it! Then I can become overwhelmed with all the new knowledge, thinking of all the things we can do with it, but, ...... no time, no money, no support ..... but I still want to learn it, but, no time, ......... etc.
Alvin Ramard
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GilaMonster (11/15/2010)
Jack Corbett (11/15/2010)
I was actually counting on the Summit to get me going.Be careful. In Grant's case it may help, but in mine attending a conference just made things worse, way, way worse. Depends...
Usually User Group meetings (been a couple of months due to SQLSaturday and Summit), SQLSaturday, or the Summit energize me at least short-term.
This year, because I had to cancel Summit attendance last minute, I really was/am down because of not accomplishing much and missing Summit.
I think I'll blog about it just to have someplace to point to.
Jack Corbett
Consultant - Straight Path Solutions
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GilaMonster (11/15/2010)
Jack Corbett (11/15/2010)
I was actually counting on the Summit to get me going.Be careful. In Grant's case it may help, but in mine attending a conference just made things worse, way, way worse. Depends...
That's true. It really does depend on the individual. While I normally recharge at home by hiding from people, it seems like I recharge in other areas by being around a bunch of people. Works in short duration doses.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
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For me when the burnout is the worst is when I go to work to escape some of the pressures of home only to come home to escape some of work. I've learned to leave home at home and work at work. I even commute 40 minutes or more each way as a buffer. Sometimes though work intrudes on home and home intrudes on work. When I'm happy with neither it is a sign that something has to change. Something always must give and if you get caught in this loop as I have before and do nothing about it then your health may be that thing.
Take care of yourself as you are taking care of work, home and the other thousands of obligations you have.
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CirquedeSQLeil (11/15/2010)
best cures for me are basketball and running.
I agree. Physical activity such as working out tends to help me get over the mental burnouts. I actually feel like I accomplished something when I leave the gym and my stress level goes down.
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Trey Staker (11/15/2010)
Take care of yourself as you are taking care of work, home and the other thousands of obligations you have.That 'other thousands of obligations you have.' is the crux of burnout to me. Yes, I burnout like anyone else if I start working 50/60 hour weeks regularly. That's sheer exhaustion and me getting pissy that I haven't had the energy to take the garbage out for two weeks, never mind eat anything besides McDonald's and Arby's, and missing that night out with friends. The burnout part of that is when it feels like I'm getting no traction to completion, or when I just can't stand what I'm doing at all.
The other side of that coin is the "Honey Do List". I don't care if you're gods gift to handymen everywhere, there is only so much that can be done at once. I live alone and I've actually wrote out a Honey Do for myself that I started debating on a white board. Then two white boards. Then I ran away scared and I still need haven't replaced a simple light bulb until I'm sitting in the dark. 😉
The sheer mass of something like that can cause depression, burnout, and a feeling of impotence against the sheer volume of things to be done. It feels like you're *never done*. This can apply to any portions of most of our lives. Our projects at work. Our to do lists at home. The endless amount of birthdays/ballgames/dance recitals/friend's birthdays...
Holy crap, where does it all end?! Well... it doesn't, hopefully, or we're staring at the wrong side of the daisies. It's perspective sometimes too.
IE: Whenever I write up a project task list at work, I write down the ENTIRE project list, and mark completed next to the items in question. I want the visibility that its done. To me. Yes, it's impressive to others, but I need to see it. It just doesn't seem as long then.
Another thing is I've just let go on some things. Too many things, too many priorities. Some things just have to give if you'd like your health and sanity to stay on track.
- Craig FarrellNever stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
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Jack, remember that you're doing a phenomenal number of things, and that you're doing them very well. You're an inspiration to a lot of us, and I wish I had the time and energy to volunteer and work as hard as I can see you doing. Best advice I can think to give you is Ecclesiastes 9:7-11. You have many talents and opportunities, and the opportunities may be overwhelming you. You don't have to go after all of them at once.
I would suggest that you counsel with your family and choose your path, then concentrate on the few things that make you feel like you are growing and leave the others on the long term 'to do' list until such a time as you find yourself able to pick them up.
I will also admit that I am really bad at this, and feel overwhelmed quite often myself, but I know that if I can achieve harmony and solidarity of purpose at home, my whole life feels in order, no matter how crazy the rat race gets. That is life, the rest is just work, and the struggle is to remember that.
Wish you only the best.
Jon
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Ray K (11/15/2010)
I'm a musician in my spare time. Among other things, I play in a large community symphonic band. This group is therapy for me. There have been several times where I've gone to rehearsal pissed off about something, and by the end of rehearsal, I'll have forgotten what it was that got me mad in the first place.Like Ray, music has really helped me in the past, I was under a lot of emotional pressure at the time and this one concert came along that was just perfect for me. I was the principal trumpet in a 80 piece Symphony Orchestra with a 50 strong choir and my part had to be heard over a massive wall of noise was being produced by the rest of the ensemble. It was the perfect way to focus my anger and frustration in a positive way. I nailed it 😎
This year I have had a lot of family pressure with 4 members of my family being in hospital. My job and career are very important to me (hence posting at gone 11pm), but after facing losing a family member it really puts things into perspective.
From a re-inforcement point of view being in contact with my mentor is absolutely fantastic, he has told me to push on with my certifications and I'm getting a lot out of it. It's changed my way of thinking about some things, re-inforced some areas and learnt lots of cool things.
The big SQL event over here is SQLBits and I get a real kick out of going to that, lots of SQL geeks everywhere who share your pain.
Hope this helps,
Rich[p]
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I only know the time a person needs to cope with a burn out is very unpredictable.
I've seen persons dealing with it varying from a couple of weeks up to more than a year and couldn't find a correlation between that elaps time and the type of personality or the persons place in the organization !
The only advise I can give is :
"If you don't take care of your own health, don't expect others to do it for you."
Like with any first aid clinic:
- first take care of your own security
- only after that, you can proceed to the victim that needs your help
- ...
It's only after having suffered it the first time, you start seeking your soft spot on this matter.
And if you picked the right one, maybe you can avoid it the next time, by taking the needed action(s) once you recognize the symptoms.
But even then, it will especially be a fight with yourself because you'll need to admit to yourself things are going the wrong way and you'll need to be strong enough to put yourself for priority 1.
That's not easy, if you're used to live by deadlines that you maybe even are not in a position to determine yourself.
Seek the help you need. Whether that is consulting a shrink or not is up to yourself. They may be able to help you put things back into the right perspective.
Don't fight this on your own as you are not alone in this fight. Your family feels/knows you're in troubles and they may suffer your situation as well. Involve them in your healing process.
Tanking a break from time to time, to reassess your situation and work out corrective measures, will help you prevent tumbling into the black whole once more, although there is no guarantee.
Get well soon !
Johan
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When things are going bad and I am having work issues, I kick it into overdrive and don't quit till I get the problem solved.
When I can't figure something out, if I can I take a break and give it a few hours, sometimes steering at the same code for hours kinda clouds what the problem is.
When I am stressed or burned out, after I leave work, I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. Find something that relaxes you and fly with it.
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RichardDouglas (11/16/2010)
Ray K (11/15/2010)
I'm a musician in my spare time. Among other things, I play in a large community symphonic band....Like Ray, music has really helped me in the past, I was under a lot of emotional pressure at the time and this one concert came along that was just perfect for me...
Interesting, one of the things that drew me to technology was to escape music. I grew up playing many different instruments with hours of practice a day from the time I was 6 until midway through college when I changed my major from music to computer science.
In hindsight I think that was my first real burnout. I occasionally play a little guitar when I get really stressed but for the most time I avoid anything to do with music including listening to it. Studying music in college ruined enjoyment of listening to it. I end up over analysing and picking apart everything.
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Trey Staker (11/17/2010)
RichardDouglas (11/16/2010)
Ray K (11/15/2010)
I'm a musician in my spare time. Among other things, I play in a large community symphonic band....Like Ray, music has really helped me in the past, I was under a lot of emotional pressure at the time and this one concert came along that was just perfect for me...
Interesting, one of the things that drew me to technology was to escape music. I grew up playing many different instruments with hours of practice a day from the time I was 6 until midway through college when I changed my major from music to computer science.
In hindsight I think that was my first real burnout. I occasionally play a little guitar when I get really stressed but for the most time I avoid anything to do with music including listening to it. Studying music in college ruined enjoyment of listening to it. I end up over analysing and picking apart everything.
Isn't that annoying? I'm with you, although I still enjoy listening to my Mingus
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