Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • Jeff Moden (1/14/2009)


    Actually... I built a "cannon" to fire the potato part of the pork chop dinner. 5 foot barrel with a 5 foot extension (haven't tried the extension, yet), 45.5 millimeter (1.75 inch) muzzle, 2 foot by 0.5 foot combustion chamber, electronic ignition. I can get about 14 seconds of hang time out of a spud... haven't measured for distance yet but if I fire it at a brick wall from 30 feet away, the spud disintegrates leaving only a small potato cone adhering to the wall. I also fired it at the door of an old car at a friend's junk yard... the damage was very impressive. It worked pretty well on the windshield, too! Wouldn't want to get hit by the darned thing, that's for sure. Just for grins, I think I'll get a boneless pork chop, roll it up, and see what happens. I may just have to send Steve a movie of me riding my unicycle and firing it... like I told him, if I can make it recoiless, I'll be able to take the car springs off my butt. πŸ˜›

    Top work! What do you use as propellant? Don't tell me...when you're not clearing tables you collect the stuff πŸ˜›

    β€œWrite the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • Chris Morris (1/15/2009)


    Jeff Moden (1/14/2009)


    Actually... I built a "cannon" to fire the potato part of the pork chop dinner. 5 foot barrel with a 5 foot extension (haven't tried the extension, yet), 45.5 millimeter (1.75 inch) muzzle, 2 foot by 0.5 foot combustion chamber, electronic ignition. I can get about 14 seconds of hang time out of a spud... haven't measured for distance yet but if I fire it at a brick wall from 30 feet away, the spud disintegrates leaving only a small potato cone adhering to the wall. I also fired it at the door of an old car at a friend's junk yard... the damage was very impressive. It worked pretty well on the windshield, too! Wouldn't want to get hit by the darned thing, that's for sure. Just for grins, I think I'll get a boneless pork chop, roll it up, and see what happens. I may just have to send Steve a movie of me riding my unicycle and firing it... like I told him, if I can make it recoiless, I'll be able to take the car springs off my butt. πŸ˜›

    Top work! What do you use as propellant? Don't tell me...when you're not clearing tables you collect the stuff πŸ˜›

    I had a couple of these when I was a young lad. One was "confiscated" by authorities and the other ended up getting broken during a daring escape.

    After extensive testing, Aqua Net hair spray ended up being better than any other propellant we could find.

  • Jeff Moden (1/14/2009)


    Chris Morris (1/14/2009)


    Jeff Moden (1/13/2009)


    Steve Jones - Editor (1/13/2009)


    And here I was thinking pork chops were pork chops, not developers' heads.

    Oooohhhh.... I might be in trouble... I've got buckets full of things that look like that. πŸ˜›

    Have you got a well in your living room and moths flying around?

    Heh... you mean a big, deep hole with water in the bottom of it and some little off-white critters flying around it? Is that a problem? πŸ˜›

    It eliminates the cursor from the query or it gets the hose again.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • We went through a pretty bad experience with virtual servers in development (you can read about my adventures here on SQL Server Central). This week though I was up at the local Microsoft Technology Center in Waltham, MA. We used HyperV for a series of labs upgrading SQL Server 2000 to 2008. It was pretty sweet stuff. It worked much better than the virtual servers I used last year. There may be a future in it.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • Chris Morris (1/15/2009)


    Top work! What do you use as propellant? Don't tell me...when you're not clearing tables you collect the stuff πŸ˜›

    Ronson Lighter fluid... it's "ashless".

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • Michael Earl (1/15/2009)


    After extensive testing, Aqua Net hair spray ended up being better than any other propellant we could find.

    Any build up on the walls over time?

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • DavidB (1/15/2009)


    See what happens when you leave people up in cold weather for too long. And you thought it was unsafe to go in the rural spots down south. :w00t:

    BWAA-HAA!! It was a guy from down south that taught me how to make my first tennis ball cannon out of Coke cans and duct tape way back when Coke cans still had bottoms... πŸ˜› I won't describe how, but he also showed me how to turn it into a very, very, nasty weapon. Source of iginition was a flint striker from a Coleman lantern.

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • Jeff Moden (1/15/2009)


    Michael Earl (1/15/2009)


    After extensive testing, Aqua Net hair spray ended up being better than any other propellant we could find.

    Any build up on the walls over time?

    Nope - just turned the PVC golden brown.

  • Have I mentioned how much I LOVE all of you, and REALLY APPRECIATE all of your help on the forum?

    (laughs nervously, backs away slowly...)

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    How best to post your question[/url]
    How to post performance problems[/url]
    Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]

    "stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."

  • Jeff Moden (1/15/2009)


    Michael Earl (1/15/2009)


    After extensive testing, Aqua Net hair spray ended up being better than any other propellant we could find.

    Any build up on the walls over time?

    We always used hair spray as well. I don't remember if it was Aqua Net though.

    As far as virtualization, I am running a dev server virtualized, but on VMWare not Hyper-V. Server Admins choose the Vm technology.

  • jcrawf02 (1/15/2009)


    Have I mentioned how much I LOVE all of you, and REALLY APPRECIATE all of your help on the forum?

    (laughs nervously, backs away slowly...)

    Get yourself a little snub-nosed handgun and brush up on your hearing, you'll be fine. Speshly in the dark.

    β€œWrite the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • jcrawf02 (1/15/2009)


    Have I mentioned how much I LOVE all of you, and REALLY APPRECIATE all of your help on the forum?

    (laughs nervously, backs away slowly...)

    Oh now, don't be getting nervous over potato cannons. There are a lot more weapons around here as, or more, deadly.

    For example, oh Gail, how many swords in your house?

    Just katana, I've got two. Then... one celtic sword (leaf shaped, hand forged, steel not bronze), one irish sword (ring sword, stamped steel, looks cool, too top heavy), a viking sword (stamped steel again, but well built for all that), a claymore (I was young, but it's hand forged and beautiful), a scramasax (stamped steel again, sweet little blade), a sabre (junk, but it looks so cool)... do bokken count? 3-4 of those at home and two I donated to the dojo... That's about it. Unless you want to count bayonets?

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • Grant Fritchey (1/15/2009)


    For example, oh Gail, how many swords in your house?

    Only one at the moment. I'm considering buying a basket-hilt rapier (local weapons shop has a nice ornamental one) and I'm eyeing some of the Lord of the Rings weapons (Tolkien fan)

    Plus three knives (2 sharpened), three practice swords (two bokken, one wooden wakisashi), two short staves, two wooden tanto, one recurved bow (30 pounds draw weight) and a quiver of arrows.

    Grant, if you're ever in Edinburgh, there's a beautiful weapons shop half way up Royal Mile, They sell assorted swords, axes, maces, armour, shields, etc. Only reason I didn't empty the bank last time I was there is that they don't ship to SA, and I didn't think I'd get the stuff back by plane easily.

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • Grant Fritchey (1/15/2009)


    jcrawf02 (1/15/2009)


    Have I mentioned how much I LOVE all of you, and REALLY APPRECIATE all of your help on the forum?

    (laughs nervously, backs away slowly...)

    Oh now, don't be getting nervous over potato cannons. There are a lot more weapons around here as, or more, deadly.

    For example, oh Gail, how many swords in your house?

    Just katana, I've got two. Then... one celtic sword (leaf shaped, hand forged, steel not bronze), one irish sword (ring sword, stamped steel, looks cool, too top heavy), a viking sword (stamped steel again, but well built for all that), a claymore (I was young, but it's hand forged and beautiful), a scramasax (stamped steel again, sweet little blade), a sabre (junk, but it looks so cool)... do bokken count? 3-4 of those at home and two I donated to the dojo... That's about it. Unless you want to count bayonets?

    Sounds like quite a nice collection. All I have is handguns, and none of them are particularly pretty (functional, but not quite so aesthetic).

    - Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
    Property of The Thread

    "Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

  • Grant Fritchey


    Oh now, don't be getting nervous over potato cannons. There are a lot more weapons around here as, or more, deadly.

    For example, oh Gail, how many swords in your house?

    Just katana, I've got two. Then... one celtic sword (leaf shaped, hand forged, steel not bronze), one irish sword (ring sword, stamped steel, looks cool, too top heavy), a viking sword (stamped steel again, but well built for all that), a claymore (I was young, but it's hand forged and beautiful), a scramasax (stamped steel again, sweet little blade), a sabre (junk, but it looks so cool)... do bokken count? 3-4 of those at home and two I donated to the dojo... That's about it. Unless you want to count bayonets?

    GilaMonster (1/15/2009)


    Grant Fritchey (1/15/2009)


    For example, oh Gail, how many swords in your house?

    Only one at the moment. I'm considering buying a basket-hilt rapier (local weapons shop has a nice ornamental one) and I'm eyeing some of the Lord of the Rings weapons (Tolkien fan)

    Plus three knives (2 sharpened), three practice swords (two bokken, one wooden wakisashi), two short staves, two wooden tanto, one recurved bow (30 pounds draw weight) and a quiver of arrows.

    Remind me to never make either of you angry!

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