Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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jonathan.crawford SSCertifiable Points: 6612 More actions · Answer 1

MVDBA (Mike Vessey) wrote:

you can't be 2 of the dwarfs at the same time

I bet Jeff owns an overcoat, that might work.

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Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004363 More actions · Answer 2

MVDBA (Mike Vessey) wrote:

you can't be 2 of the dwarfs at the same time

BWAAA-HAAA!!!! Who said anything about "BE"? I'm knocking them off and hanging them on the fireplace. 😀

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004363 More actions · Answer 3

below86 wrote:

Phil Parkin wrote:
Michael L John wrote:
below86 wrote:
That's some bad code there Mike. I've seen some similar, but add a couple UNION statements and all with in an SSRS report. Talk about slow code.
I've also had that moment when I look at some code and say "Who wrote this crap?" Only to realize later it was me, about 10+ years ago. 😉
Gee, I look at code I wrote 2 days ago and wonder the same thing!
In a similar vein, if I look at any code I wrote more than about two weeks ago, I always wonder: "What is this trying to do and how the hell does it work?"
Well Phil, I really didn't want to admit to it, but what you said did happen to me this week. I wrote some code last month to do a complex calculation on each transaction record we received. Then I was looking back at it on Monday and thought How does this work? It's hell getting old. I guess some would say that is why you should put documentation in your code. The problem I usually run into is I write the code, look back at it at that time and think, "well that makes sense, no need for documentation". Hard to teach and old dog new tricks.

A lot of people at work think that I write comments in code because of "standards". I'm old so I write comments in code for the very reason you've implied... massive CRS. 😀

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004363 More actions · Answer 4

jonathan.crawford wrote:

MVDBA (Mike Vessey) wrote:
you can't be 2 of the dwarfs at the same time
I bet Jeff owns an overcoat, that might work.

Hmmmm.... hadn't thought of that. I normally wear one to hide the pork chop launcher I'm packin'. 😀

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 5

Jeff Moden wrote:

below86 wrote:
Phil Parkin wrote:
Michael L John wrote:
below86 wrote:
That's some bad code there Mike. I've seen some similar, but add a couple UNION statements and all with in an SSRS report. Talk about slow code.
I've also had that moment when I look at some code and say "Who wrote this crap?" Only to realize later it was me, about 10+ years ago. 😉
Gee, I look at code I wrote 2 days ago and wonder the same thing!
In a similar vein, if I look at any code I wrote more than about two weeks ago, I always wonder: "What is this trying to do and how the hell does it work?"
Well Phil, I really didn't want to admit to it, but what you said did happen to me this week. I wrote some code last month to do a complex calculation on each transaction record we received. Then I was looking back at it on Monday and thought How does this work? It's hell getting old. I guess some would say that is why you should put documentation in your code. The problem I usually run into is I write the code, look back at it at that time and think, "well that makes sense, no need for documentation". Hard to teach and old dog new tricks.
A lot of people at work think that I write comments in code because of "standards". I'm old so I write comments in code for the very reason you've implied... massive CRS. 😀

And the award for using of undefined acronyms goes to ...

jonathan.crawford SSCertifiable Points: 6612 More actions · Answer 6

Lynn Pettis wrote:

Jeff Moden wrote:
A lot of people at work think that I write comments in code because of "standards". I'm old so I write comments in code for the very reason you've implied... massive CRS. 😀
And the award for using of undefined acronyms goes to ...

He'd spell it out for you but he Can't Remember …..SQUIRREL!

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Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004363 More actions · Answer 7

Shifiting gears a bit, I almost blew a chicken bone out of my nose on the final sentence of the following post. WallyWizard for President! 😀

https://www.sqlservercentral.com/forums/topic/what-type-of-join-is-this#post-3731678

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Michael L John One Orange Chip Points: 27056 More actions · Answer 8

We have a group who's sole responsibility is to write reports. They are supposed to be doing data analysis, but that's another subject.

None of them have any technical skills, or technical training. The needed to be granted access to dev and qa for Azure SQL databases.

I sent this:

The servers are: devsqlserverprimary..database.windows.net,1433

qasqlserverprimary..database.windows.net,1433

The databases are:

Dev = Dev-Data-DB

QA = Qa-Data-DB

I get the emails "We can't connect to Dev = Dev-Data-DB".

Michael L John
If you assassinate a DBA, would you pull a trigger?
To properly post on a forum:
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/61537/

Eirikur Eiriksson SSC Guru Points: 182912 More actions · Answer 9

Michael L John wrote:

We have a group who's sole responsibility is to write reports. They are supposed to be doing data analysis, but that's another subject.
None of them have any technical skills, or technical training. The needed to be granted access to dev and qa for Azure SQL databases.
I sent this:
The servers are: devsqlserverprimary..database.windows.net,1433
qasqlserverprimary..database.windows.net,1433
The databases are:
Dev = Dev-Data-DB
QA = Qa-Data-DB
I get the emails "We can't connect to Dev = Dev-Data-DB".

One of those head-desk moments

😎

MVDBA (Mike Vessey) SSC-Insane Points: 21797 More actions · Answer 10

Michael L John wrote:

We have a group who's sole responsibility is to write reports. They are supposed to be doing data analysis, but that's another subject.
None of them have any technical skills, or technical training. The needed to be granted access to dev and qa for Azure SQL databases.
I sent this:
The servers are: devsqlserverprimary..database.windows.net,1433
qasqlserverprimary..database.windows.net,1433
The databases are:
Dev = Dev-Data-DB
QA = Qa-Data-DB
I get the emails "We can't connect to Dev = Dev-Data-DB".

oh man 🙂 that is a total face palm moment - we now have the 7th dwarf.... facepalm DBA

MVDBA

Greg Edwards-268690 SSC-Insane Points: 20680 More actions · Answer 11

Always amazes me when companies assume too much.

We had an operations manager who would intentionally ask for the same report from several people. Then compare the results. He knew the business and data well, so he could tell a lot about the skill level of each person rather quickly. And could tell when the data had been massaged.

He was also good to work with as he appreciated well thought out measures and dimensions. And to him, good reports measured progress and showed areas where action was needed.

Early in my career, I became his go to for many reports before moving from operations into the data warehouse group.

Technical skills and training take a back seat to sometimes. A person who has the desire to figure out how things work at a low level, and the gray matter between the ears to make good use of what they learn, likely might be someone you could look for to mentor. Sounds like some direction is needed for this group. They should be an extension to those building the db to be effective.

One or two of the right people many times are better than a small army of Excel Jockeys. Hope you find a way to make this work - sounds like a rough launch.

Phil Parkin SSC Guru Points: 246963 More actions · Answer 12

This --> "a small army of Excel Jockeys" <-- is a truly unpleasant image, I wish I could un-see it 🙂

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence
- Martin Rees
The absence of consumable DDL, sample data and desired results is, however, evidence of the absence of my response
- Phil Parkin

Michael L John One Orange Chip Points: 27056 More actions · Answer 13

They are not even Excel jockeys. One of them has a LAW degree. she just passed her bar exam and is not going into law. The rest have psychology degrees.

Michael L John
If you assassinate a DBA, would you pull a trigger?
To properly post on a forum:
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/61537/

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004363 More actions · Answer 14

Michael L John wrote:

They are not even Excel jockeys. One of them has a LAW degree. she just passed her bar exam and is not going into law. The rest have psychology degrees.

At least the ones with the Law degrees will know what "It Depends" means. 😀

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Michael L John One Orange Chip Points: 27056 More actions · Answer 15

Jeff Moden wrote:

Michael L John wrote:
They are not even Excel jockeys. One of them has a LAW degree. she just passed her bar exam and is not going into law. The rest have psychology degrees.
At least the ones with the Law degrees will know what "It Depends" means. 😀

The frustrating thing is that clearly these folks put in the time to get their degrees, and be subject matter experts in their chosen fields of study. The time they spend learning the technology, even the basic concepts, has been minimal. It's not as if they are arrogant sots who think they know it all. It's a good group to work with. There's just this "mental block" or something that prevents them from taking the time to learn the critical things.

Michael L John
If you assassinate a DBA, would you pull a trigger?
To properly post on a forum:
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/61537/