January 30, 2020 at 6:13 pm
So, came across this on Twitter, this morning, I figure some of the folks here ought to both get it, and get a kick out of it.
Or beat me when they see me for it, that's a possibility...
airline gate attendant: I understand that your little boy is difficult and hard to keep track of, but no, airline policy strictly forbids checking children in the cargo hold. you’ll have to—
members of the band Kansas: <deep breath>
January 30, 2020 at 6:47 pm
So, came across this on Twitter, this morning, I figure some of the folks here ought to both get it, and get a kick out of it.
Or beat me when they see me for it, that's a possibility...
airline gate attendant: I understand that your little boy is difficult and hard to keep track of, but no, airline policy strictly forbids checking children in the cargo hold. you’ll have to—
members of the band Kansas: <deep breath>
I know only one Kansas song, and it's that one!
The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence
- Martin Rees
The absence of consumable DDL, sample data and desired results is, however, evidence of the absence of my response
- Phil Parkin
January 30, 2020 at 7:00 pm
Following on with the food and music theme. To be sung to the tune of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody ... it's the Indian version. (Not my work.)
Naan, just killed a man
poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan, dinner's just begun
But now I'm gonna crap it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry
Seen nothing yet just see the loo tomorrow
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras.
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine
Rectum aching all the time
Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh
This doopiaza is so mild
I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.
guitar solo
I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely Very very spicy Meat!
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan
(A vindaloo loo loo loo)
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory
Stand you well back
'Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes
There it goes
Technicolor yawn
I chunder
No!
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder, it's coming back again
(There he goes)
Coming back again
(up again)
Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO)
On my knees, I'm on my knees
On his knees, Oh, there he goes
This vindaloo Is about to wreck my guts
Poor me.. poor me...poor meee!
guitar solo
So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe, But now you'll puke like a baby
Just had to come out
It just had to come right out in here.
guitar solo
slow bit
Korma, sag or bhuna
bhaji, balti or naan
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference
To meee....
(Any way, the wind blows....shshshsh)
The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence
- Martin Rees
The absence of consumable DDL, sample data and desired results is, however, evidence of the absence of my response
- Phil Parkin
January 30, 2020 at 9:15 pm
I heard a song on the radio the other day that was a parody of Aerosmith's 'Sweet Emotions' called 'Sweet Emoji's'. Not sure the comedians name, but it got a laugh or two out of me. 🙂
-------------------------------------------------------------
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Don't fear failure, fear regret.
January 30, 2020 at 9:16 pm
One day, we'll have to have a meeting of that Anti-RBAR Confederation you spoke about. We'll schedule time to talk about food. 🙂
We shouldn't schedule time to talk about food. We need to schedule time to go eat food!!!
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January 30, 2020 at 9:17 pm
Oh and Ed Wagner, if you're reading this - I tried your recommendation of bacon and it's absolutely wonderful, thank you so much matey.
I missed this. What was his recommendation for bacon? I am curious because I know some of what Ed does with food. Additionally curious because I cure my own bacon. 😛
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/
January 31, 2020 at 1:12 am
Let's just say, mussels, mayo on fries and a tripel is one of my favorite meals on the planet.
Grant Fritchey wrote:MVDBA (Mike Vessey) wrote:(and PS Grant, you are our long lost mentor, I often wonder if my father wasn't either you or steve 🙂 - we know it's not brent, he likes DMV's too much)
You're going to need to get a court order and some DNA, because I'm denying it until I see the test. HA!
I have the same "badger stripes" in my beard as you.. and i'm pretty sure at one of the next SQL in the city conferences I can get an account manager to steal your knife and fork for DNA.
in a nice way, everyone in this chat room is one of your children (DBA DNA) - which makes jeff my brother (not happy) 🙂 lol
My "badger stripes" disappeared from my beard more than a decade ago and I'm old enough now where "It Depends" has two meanings. 😀
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
January 31, 2020 at 1:56 am
without gail, steve and joe celko busting my chops then i'm left with jeff….. not fair.
Heh... it's what brothers do. 😀
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
January 31, 2020 at 1:58 am
Ed Wagner wrote:One day, we'll have to have a meeting of that Anti-RBAR Confederation you spoke about. We'll schedule time to talk about food. 🙂
We shouldn't schedule time to talk about food. We need to schedule time to go eat food!!!
YUM!!! I'll second that while I'm having seconds!
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
January 31, 2020 at 2:03 am
Following on with the food and music theme. To be sung to the tune of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody ... it's the Indian version. (Not my work.)
That's hil-air-e-ass!!!
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
January 31, 2020 at 2:59 am
jonathan.crawford wrote:But have either of you ever been to Belgium?
Let's just say, mussels, mayo on fries and a tripel is one of my favorite meals on the planet.
Mayo on fries? That's where it comes from? Belgium? I freakin' love mayo on fries. Better yet, Miracle Whip or Kosher pickle juice. Since I also spent a good part of my life in New England, I also have a real appreciation for mussels and "little necks". My brother and I were augmenting our incomes with Quahogs... we were divers and we were equipped with 92 cubic foot tanks. We built an on-board sorter so we didn't have to "ring" the "hogs" for size. The "little necks" (the ones you make Clams Casino with) and the "chowda" hogs (we called them "bigs") were each going for 27 cents a piece. We could go places the "rakers" could never go because of the "hardware" (pretty hefty rocks) on the bottom. The water was usually never more than about 12 feet deep and so we could go for almost 3 hours on each tank if we "sucked the bottoms dry". We usually came in riding pretty low (full boat) and generally dug out between 1800 and 2400 "little necks" and a 1000 or two of "bigs" each in just one good day on 2 tanks each.
We found a "hot spot" with very little "hardware" on the bottom down on the west coast of Gould Island, which is owned by the U.S. Navy (they also fire MK 48 heavyweight torpedoes from the island to test them). We got hauled out of the water one day by a group of Navy Seals. The reason? I hadn't realized that our sorter looked like a multi-tube mortar launcher. 😀 We all had a great laugh on that one. We also gave them enough "little necks" (really good raw and in Clams Casino) and "bigs" (to make "stuffies" and "chowda" with) for their upcoming Family Clambake on the beach the next day. From then on, we had "armed guards" keeping an eye on our boat while we were "down under".
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
January 31, 2020 at 6:56 am
Tonight, I'll be having haggis. Pray for me.
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January 31, 2020 at 8:49 am
I'm planning on doing another belly this summer when I do 2 pork shoulders and 6 chickens for my daughter's grad party. She's undecided on the smoked macaroni and cheese. I'm thinking of trying my hand at a beef brisket for the first time, too. Heck, I might do a pork loin at the same time for Jeff.
I'm hoping to get the Smokey Mountain to my parents' house and get the whole clan and the in-laws round and do a whole pork shoulder for them. It will be good to able to cook for everybody and we've not got the space.
I got a packer-cut brisket point over the summer and got good results. Not as juicy as it should be but definitely better than I've got with even large pieces of the British cut. The problem with it is that it's too big, hard to get hold of and expensive to practice with often. I can get whole shoulder of pork from the butcher up the road with a day to two's notice. Packer cut brisket means trawling internet butchers and timing deliveries for when there's somebody at home. If it goes wrong it's a lot of money wasted and if it goes right, there's an awful lot of beef for two of us. I'm not quite confident enough to do one for the clan yet either.
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January 31, 2020 at 8:55 am
Tonight, I'll be having haggis. Pray for me.
Haggis is great though! Haven't had it in ages mind, but I've enjoyed it every time I have. In Edinburgh for SQL Saturday by any chance?
Thom~
Excuse my typos and sometimes awful grammar. My fingers work faster than my brain does.
Larnu.uk
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