Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 1

Luis Cazares - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:29 AM
I just got an email containing this:
Luis,
Do you have any update on adding the indexes on production.
Task # 1
Add more indexing to the SQL DBA

Don't you love when the requirements are so vague that they look like part of a job posting?
BTW, I'm a dev DBA, not system DBA. I shouldn't touch production.

LOL that is hilarious. Do they just want more random indexes or is there an actual rationale for the new indexes. Or you could just add a new index that is pointless and claim the task is done. Or reply that there is more than enough indexing already.

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Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173080 More actions · Answer 2

Jacob Wilkins - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:35 AM
Hmmm...add indexing to the DBA? I guess you can write on yourself... 🙂

It's a little painful. And, depending on how permanent they want the indexes, requires a proper tattoo artist.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173080 More actions · Answer 3

Phil Parkin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:34 AM
Luis Cazares - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:29 AM
I just got an email containing this:
Luis,
Do you have any update on adding the indexes on production.
Task # 1
Add more indexing to the SQL DBA
Don't you love when the requirements are so vague that they look like part of a job posting?
BTW, I'm a dev DBA, not system DBA. I shouldn't touch production.

I'm not so sure that DBAs like being indexed.

I certainly don't. Of course, I can't speak for others around here.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

ManicStar SSCoach Points: 17992 More actions · Answer 4

Brandie Tarvin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 10:28 AM
Phil Parkin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:34 AM
Luis Cazares - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:29 AM
I just got an email containing this:
Luis,
Do you have any update on adding the indexes on production.
Task # 1
Add more indexing to the SQL DBA
Don't you love when the requirements are so vague that they look like part of a job posting?
BTW, I'm a dev DBA, not system DBA. I shouldn't touch production.
I'm not so sure that DBAs like being indexed.

I certainly don't. Of course, I can't speak for others around here.
Well it it cuts some seconds off of my marathon long run time, i'm for it.

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 5

Phil Parkin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:34 AM
Luis Cazares - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:29 AM
I just got an email containing this:
Luis,
Do you have any update on adding the indexes on production.
Task # 1
Add more indexing to the SQL DBA
Don't you love when the requirements are so vague that they look like part of a job posting?
BTW, I'm a dev DBA, not system DBA. I shouldn't touch production.

I'm not so sure that DBAs like being indexed.

😀😛 That's hilarious. I know I certainly don't want to be indexed. The duplicated data may be accessed faster, but I can't just expand my storage capacity at will.

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions

Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 6

Ed Wagner - Thursday, August 3, 2017 11:40 AM
Phil Parkin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:34 AM
I'm not so sure that DBAs like being indexed.
😀😛 That's hilarious. I know I certainly don't want to be indexed. The duplicated data may be accessed faster, but I can't just expand my storage capacity at will.

Well, my storage capacity has expanded in the last year due to duplicated ~~fat~~ data. 😀

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

ZZartin SSC-Dedicated Points: 30921 More actions · Answer 7

Phil Parkin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:34 AM
Luis Cazares - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:29 AM
I just got an email containing this:
Luis,
Do you have any update on adding the indexes on production.
Task # 1
Add more indexing to the SQL DBA
Don't you love when the requirements are so vague that they look like part of a job posting?
BTW, I'm a dev DBA, not system DBA. I shouldn't touch production.

I'm not so sure that DBAs like being indexed.

Index wouldn't be so bad, a defrag might be though.

Jacob Wilkins One Orange Chip Points: 27976 More actions · Answer 8

Jacob Wilkins

One Orange Chip

Points: 27976

August 3, 2017 at 2:49 pm

#1954049

Page splits...*shudders*

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 9

Phil Parkin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:34 AM
Luis Cazares - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:29 AM
I just got an email containing this:
Luis,
Do you have any update on adding the indexes on production.
Task # 1
Add more indexing to the SQL DBA
Don't you love when the requirements are so vague that they look like part of a job posting?
BTW, I'm a dev DBA, not system DBA. I shouldn't touch production.

I'm not so sure that DBAs like being indexed.

Well, I did find a telephone directory waiting for me this morning, so I guess I have an extra index now.
But then, I'm not a DBA at all, so...

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 10

Luis Cazares - Thursday, August 3, 2017 11:44 AM
Ed Wagner - Thursday, August 3, 2017 11:40 AM
Phil Parkin - Thursday, August 3, 2017 9:34 AM
I'm not so sure that DBAs like being indexed.
😀😛 That's hilarious. I know I certainly don't want to be indexed. The duplicated data may be accessed faster, but I can't just expand my storage capacity at will.
Well, my storage capacity has expanded in the last year due to duplicated ~~fat~~ data. 😀

Bwahahahaha! Great way to start a Friday - carrot & hummus all over my monitor!

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Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 11

Some people need to learn basics of error handling, transactions and common sense. 🙁

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Thom A SSC Guru Points: 99133 More actions · Answer 12

GilaMonster - Friday, August 4, 2017 1:56 AM
Some people need to learn basics of error handling, transactions and common sense. 🙁

That topic is still going? O.o

Thom~

Excuse my typos and sometimes awful grammar. My fingers work faster than my brain does.
Larnu.uk

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 13

Thom A - Friday, August 4, 2017 2:08 AM
GilaMonster - Friday, August 4, 2017 1:56 AM
Some people need to learn basics of error handling, transactions and common sense. 🙁
That topic is still going? O.o

Go see his latest reply.
Put the coffee cup down first.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173080 More actions · Answer 14

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sometime in the middle of the night, someone up at corporate did something to one our of NAS shares. As in the NAS share where we store our database backups. As in we can read, but we can't write!

Fortunately this is our DR site location. Unfortunately it means we have no place to put our system db and environment specific db backups. And the guy I called up in corporate misunderstood, thought it was a database issue and was going to assign it to the database team. I had to explain that the servers were fine, it was a storage team problem. So he went to ask his boss to make sure I was correct about which team to assign the ticket to. <headdesk>

Fix it. FIX IT NOW!!!!

My whole day is going to be like this now. I just know it.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

TomThomson SSC Guru Points: 104773 More actions · Answer 15

GilaMonster - Friday, August 4, 2017 2:09 AM
Thom A - Friday, August 4, 2017 2:08 AM
GilaMonster - Friday, August 4, 2017 1:56 AM
Some people need to learn basics of error handling, transactions and common sense. 🙁
That topic is still going? O.o
Go see his latest reply.
Put the coffee cup down first.

I guess this is curious_sqldba?

Absence of knowledge about transactions and error management is often curable if common sense is there; sadly absence of common sense usually isn't curable (at least in adults).
Belief in the magical power of the CATCH keyword to have the codeblock it governs executed even when the server it runs on is not running is quite remarkable, and certainly incompatible with possession of common sense.

Tom