Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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JustMarie SSCertifiable Points: 7771 More actions · Answer 1

So I was trying to find some values in Hadoop using Impala to find out why SSIS wasn't accepting the input. Fine. Whatever. Different database systems, etc.

Trying to find if a value is numeric in Cloudera is NOT for the weak. I had to dig out regular expressions and convert it to their flavor. While still dragging through it the person who wrote (and then broke) the view fixed it so I could happily SSIS away.

Since I was working from home the only living creature to subject my mighty Programming Rant to was the cat. Half way through the cat gives me an "I'm tired of this" look, turns around, flips me off with his tail. and goes to sleep on the bed.

Flipped off by my cat.

Yeah. That pretty much described my day.

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 2

JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:09 PM
So I was trying to find some values in Hadoop using Impala to find out why SSIS wasn't accepting the input. Fine. Whatever. Different database systems, etc.
Trying to find if a value is numeric in Cloudera is NOT for the weak. I had to dig out regular expressions and convert it to their flavor. While still dragging through it the person who wrote (and then broke) the view fixed it so I could happily SSIS away.
Since I was working from home the only living creature to subject my mighty Programming Rant to was the cat. Half way through the cat gives me an "I'm tired of this" look, turns around, flips me off with his tail. and goes to sleep on the bed.
Flipped off by my cat.
Yeah. That pretty much described my day.

What do you expect from a cat, sympathy? 😀

JustMarie SSCertifiable Points: 7771 More actions · Answer 3

Lynn Pettis - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:12 PM
JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:09 PM
So I was trying to find some values in Hadoop using Impala to find out why SSIS wasn't accepting the input. Fine. Whatever. Different database systems, etc.
Trying to find if a value is numeric in Cloudera is NOT for the weak. I had to dig out regular expressions and convert it to their flavor. While still dragging through it the person who wrote (and then broke) the view fixed it so I could happily SSIS away.
Since I was working from home the only living creature to subject my mighty Programming Rant to was the cat. Half way through the cat gives me an "I'm tired of this" look, turns around, flips me off with his tail. and goes to sleep on the bed.
Flipped off by my cat.
Yeah. That pretty much described my day.
What do you expect from a cat, sympathy? 😀

At least he didn't yak a hairball on me first I guess. :ermm:

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 4

JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:16 PM
Lynn Pettis - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:12 PM
JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:09 PM
So I was trying to find some values in Hadoop using Impala to find out why SSIS wasn't accepting the input. Fine. Whatever. Different database systems, etc.
Trying to find if a value is numeric in Cloudera is NOT for the weak. I had to dig out regular expressions and convert it to their flavor. While still dragging through it the person who wrote (and then broke) the view fixed it so I could happily SSIS away.
Since I was working from home the only living creature to subject my mighty Programming Rant to was the cat. Half way through the cat gives me an "I'm tired of this" look, turns around, flips me off with his tail. and goes to sleep on the bed.
Flipped off by my cat.
Yeah. That pretty much described my day.
What do you expect from a cat, sympathy? 😀
At least he didn't yak a hairball on me first I guess. :ermm:

Don't count the cat out yet. The hairball might come later on tonight. :hehe:

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004329 More actions · Answer 5

Ed Wagner - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:20 PM
JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:16 PM
Lynn Pettis - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:12 PM
JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:09 PM
So I was trying to find some values in Hadoop using Impala to find out why SSIS wasn't accepting the input. Fine. Whatever. Different database systems, etc.
Trying to find if a value is numeric in Cloudera is NOT for the weak. I had to dig out regular expressions and convert it to their flavor. While still dragging through it the person who wrote (and then broke) the view fixed it so I could happily SSIS away.
Since I was working from home the only living creature to subject my mighty Programming Rant to was the cat. Half way through the cat gives me an "I'm tired of this" look, turns around, flips me off with his tail. and goes to sleep on the bed.
Flipped off by my cat.
Yeah. That pretty much described my day.
What do you expect from a cat, sympathy? 😀
At least he didn't yak a hairball on me first I guess. :ermm:
Don't count the cat out yet. The hairball might come later on tonight. :hehe:

Check under your pillow and in your slippers. Also, make sure that your toothbrush doesn't smell like cat butt. 😉

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

TomThomson SSC Guru Points: 104773 More actions · Answer 6

Sean Lange - Wednesday, June 21, 2017 3:25 PM
Jeff Moden - Wednesday, June 21, 2017 2:49 PM
Heh... not me. I keep it simple. I wake up every morning hating everyone and then I make exceptions. 😉 If you speak to me before my 2nd 12oz cup o' joe, then there's no chance for you for the day.
Gosh you're such a cynical mean bastard. Just the way I like them. I sure hate to be the lone cynic. 😀

I think you're both far too soft - Sean because he didn't notice Jeff was, and Jeff because he required only 2 12oz cups o' joe before mellowing - it should be 2 12 oz cups o'joe, half a litre of fresh orange juice, half a litre of sparkling mineral water, and a decent collection of bacon, eggs, sausage (preferably Lorne sausage, but English or American may be cceptable to some people) , beans, potatoes, toasts and trimmings.

Tom

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736183 More actions · Answer 7

I sent a note to the devs. There is supposed to be a new version of the forum software that takes some of our PRs and includes better editing/formatting

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 8

Steve Jones - SSC Editor - Saturday, June 24, 2017 1:25 PM
I sent a note to the devs. There is supposed to be a new version of the forum software that takes some of our PRs and includes better editing/formatting

That's good to hear, Steve. Thanks for the update. If you need beta testers, let me know.

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736183 More actions · Answer 9

We may reach out to some of you. The pipeline and staging systems should be easily setup, so if there's an update, we should be able to apply and test quickly.

Sergiy SSC Guru Points: 110208 More actions · Answer 10

Hi Steve,

Does anybody look into Safari issues?

It appears pretty much nothing works when I'm trying to post from my iPad - no quoting, no formatting, no IFC.

_____________
Code for TallyGenerator

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004329 More actions · Answer 11

Steve Jones - SSC Editor - Saturday, June 24, 2017 1:25 PM
I sent a note to the devs. There is supposed to be a new version of the forum software that takes some of our PRs and includes better editing/formatting

Awesome! You can call on me if you desire. I'd be happy to help test and document.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004329 More actions · Answer 12

TomThomson - Friday, June 23, 2017 8:19 PM
Sean Lange - Wednesday, June 21, 2017 3:25 PM
Jeff Moden - Wednesday, June 21, 2017 2:49 PM
Heh... not me. I keep it simple. I wake up every morning hating everyone and then I make exceptions. 😉 If you speak to me before my 2nd 12oz cup o' joe, then there's no chance for you for the day.
Gosh you're such a cynical mean bastard. Just the way I like them. I sure hate to be the lone cynic. 😀
I think you're both far too soft - Sean because he didn't notice Jeff was, and Jeff because he required only 2 12oz cups o' joe before mellowing - it should be 2 12 oz cups o'joe, half a litre of fresh orange juice, half a litre of sparkling mineral water, and a decent collection of bacon, eggs, sausage (preferably Lorne sausage, but English or American may be cceptable to some people) , beans, potatoes, toasts and trimmings.

Heh... I wouldn't call me mellow after just 2 cups of coffee. And, man, that's the kind of breakfast I like except I also throw in a chunk of ham or steak. On a great day, I'll add a small waffle or two and a glass of milk.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Eric M Russell SSC Guru Points: 125561 More actions · Answer 13

So, did anyone else have a strangely intense dream recently about being, outside looking up at the night sky, and then a constellation of stars coalesce into a UFO that lands nearby?

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho

Sergiy SSC Guru Points: 110208 More actions · Answer 14

Jeff, ok, not mellow.

But really - are 2 cups of coffe enough for you to stop hating this world???

Wow...

_____________
Code for TallyGenerator

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 15

Jeff Moden - Friday, June 23, 2017 2:57 PM
Ed Wagner - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:20 PM
JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:16 PM
Lynn Pettis - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:12 PM
JustMarie - Friday, June 23, 2017 1:09 PM
So I was trying to find some values in Hadoop using Impala to find out why SSIS wasn't accepting the input. Fine. Whatever. Different database systems, etc.
Trying to find if a value is numeric in Cloudera is NOT for the weak. I had to dig out regular expressions and convert it to their flavor. While still dragging through it the person who wrote (and then broke) the view fixed it so I could happily SSIS away.
Since I was working from home the only living creature to subject my mighty Programming Rant to was the cat. Half way through the cat gives me an "I'm tired of this" look, turns around, flips me off with his tail. and goes to sleep on the bed.
Flipped off by my cat.
Yeah. That pretty much described my day.
What do you expect from a cat, sympathy? 😀
At least he didn't yak a hairball on me first I guess. :ermm:
Don't count the cat out yet. The hairball might come later on tonight. :hehe:
Check under your pillow and in your slippers. Also, make sure that your toothbrush doesn't smell like cat butt. 😉

Someone's been reading Fat Freddy's Cat...check your headphones too, Marie!

^{“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw}

For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden