Are the posted questions getting worse?
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This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.
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Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/ -
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
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Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
And of course point out that the word Update has only 1 d. 😀 I still think my favorite misspelled word in this application is Aircraft. They have is spelled Aricarft. I have pointed it out numerous times and yet it is still there. I understand that English is not always the first language of every developer but the column name that supplies the data for this is spelled correctly. :w00t:
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/ -
Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
We were wondering whether the screen before this one said: "Would you like to fail the update?" Yes/No
You could then legitimately display a "Successfully failed update" screen.
Unlikely scenario, mind.
The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Martin ReesYou can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Stan Laurel -
Phil Parkin (10/6/2016)
Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
We were wondering whether the screen before this one said: "Would you like to fail the update?" Yes/No
You could then legitimately display a "Successfully failed update" screen.
Unlikely scenario, mind.
Or maybe it successfully updated the failed entries.
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Luis Cazares (10/6/2016)
Phil Parkin (10/6/2016)
Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
We were wondering whether the screen before this one said: "Would you like to fail the update?" Yes/No
You could then legitimately display a "Successfully failed update" screen.
Unlikely scenario, mind.
Or maybe it successfully updated the failed entries.
That's hilarious!!!! It actually happens when you click the Save button. 😀
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/ -
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
Luis Cazares (10/6/2016)
Phil Parkin (10/6/2016)
Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
We were wondering whether the screen before this one said: "Would you like to fail the update?" Yes/No
You could then legitimately display a "Successfully failed update" screen.
Unlikely scenario, mind.
Or maybe it successfully updated the failed entries.
That's hilarious!!!! It actually happens when you click the Save button. 😀
Hey, we have to give Phil and Luis credit for thinking of a scenario where the message could make sense. 😛
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Well, my brother and his family just hit the road to get out of the Charleston, SC area, heading up to family in Maryland.
Once again, everyone in the path of this thing, stay safe.
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Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
Luis Cazares (10/6/2016)
Phil Parkin (10/6/2016)
Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
We were wondering whether the screen before this one said: "Would you like to fail the update?" Yes/No
You could then legitimately display a "Successfully failed update" screen.
Unlikely scenario, mind.
Or maybe it successfully updated the failed entries.
That's hilarious!!!! It actually happens when you click the Save button. 😀
Hey, we have to give Phil and Luis credit for thinking of a scenario where the message could make sense. 😛
Without a doubt. Both of their thoughts were extremely creative and funny at the same time.
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/ -
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
And of course point out that the word Update has only 1 d. 😀 I still think my favorite misspelled word in this application is Aircraft. They have is spelled Aricarft. I have pointed it out numerous times and yet it is still there. I understand that English is not always the first language of every developer but the column name that supplies the data for this is spelled correctly. :w00t:
I also like the checkmark right beside the update failed message
Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes
If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!
Links:
For better assistance in answering your questions
Performance Problems
Common date/time routines
Understanding and Using APPLY Part 1 & Part 2 -
WayneS (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
Ed Wagner (10/6/2016)
Sean Lange (10/6/2016)
This may be the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. You just gotta love 3rd party software.Yeah, that's a good one. Be sure to send it to their support people and ask for an explanation of how a failure is somehow deemed success. I admit I'm incredibly curious how they'd respond to something so silly. Be sure to comment on their staggering level of detail in the success/failure message...if the update actually did fail. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in their software, does it? 😛
This is a great opportunity to have some fun.
And of course point out that the word Update has only 1 d. 😀 I still think my favorite misspelled word in this application is Aircraft. They have is spelled Aricarft. I have pointed it out numerous times and yet it is still there. I understand that English is not always the first language of every developer but the column name that supplies the data for this is spelled correctly. :w00t:
I also like the checkmark right beside the update failed message
Stuff like this always reminds me of a client that had a program running on their machine, Everything.exe. It crashed frequently, so you would often be greeted by "Everything has stopped working" message boxes. 😀
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Quickest way to learn what organizations NOT to use in job a search. This is the position I just got an email about:
Oracle Database Administrator
- 5+ years in an Oracle database administration role.
- Prior experience with: Oracle 11g Rel 2 Standalone and RAC Install, config, administration, troubleshooting, performance and tuning; RMAN Backup and Recovery - Standalone and RAC; Physical Standby Database and Active Dataguard - Standalone and RAC; Oracle Goldengate – Active/passive (one-way), Active/Active Install, setup, config, troubleshooting, admin; Database migrations; Database installs, upgrades and patching for Standalone and RAC; BAU DBA Admin functionality; Oracle Performance and Tuning; OEM.
- Strong understanding of Oracle Security and Audit, storage technologies and networking.
- Familiarity with Shell Scripting, ITIL, Oracle 12c, NoSQL and MySQL is a plus.
- Strong team player and able to work with various development teams.
- Excellent written and verbal communication skills.
- Bachelor of Science degree or equivalent education and work experience is required.
This is the preamble from the recruiter:
With reference to your resume on job board, I would like to discuss a great job opportunity which might be of interest to you. This is with one of my premier client (Verizon) and your skills & professional experience seems to be a good match to this opportunity. Please review the job description given below. In case it interests you, please contact me via phone or email at your earliest convenience.
Obviously the recruiter DID NOT read the resume. The only Oracle experience I put on my resume was regarding 1 year of PL/SQL development. Not a single word about Oracle database administration, RAC, etc.
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Lynn Pettis (10/6/2016)
Quickest way to learn what organizations NOT to use in job a search. This is the position I just got an email about:Oracle Database Administrator
- 5+ years in an Oracle database administration role.
- Prior experience with: Oracle 11g Rel 2 Standalone and RAC Install, config, administration, troubleshooting, performance and tuning; RMAN Backup and Recovery - Standalone and RAC; Physical Standby Database and Active Dataguard - Standalone and RAC; Oracle Goldengate – Active/passive (one-way), Active/Active Install, setup, config, troubleshooting, admin; Database migrations; Database installs, upgrades and patching for Standalone and RAC; BAU DBA Admin functionality; Oracle Performance and Tuning; OEM.
- Strong understanding of Oracle Security and Audit, storage technologies and networking.
- Familiarity with Shell Scripting, ITIL, Oracle 12c, NoSQL and MySQL is a plus.
- Strong team player and able to work with various development teams.
- Excellent written and verbal communication skills.
- Bachelor of Science degree or equivalent education and work experience is required.
This is the preamble from the recruiter:
With reference to your resume on job board, I would like to discuss a great job opportunity which might be of interest to you. This is with one of my premier client (Verizon) and your skills & professional experience seems to be a good match to this opportunity. Please review the job description given below. In case it interests you, please contact me via phone or email at your earliest convenience.
Obviously the recruiter DID NOT read the resume. The only Oracle experience I put on my resume was regarding 1 year of PL/SQL development. Not a single word about Oracle database administration, RAC, etc.
As much as I understand the frustration you have to keep in mind that the recruiter found a LOT of technical words that do match. These people don't understand that Oracle and Sql-Server are vastly different. The argument can be made that they should learn this stuff but keep in mind they are recruiters. If they were actually smart enough to learn the difference they would likely have chosen a different career path.
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/ -
Just got a robocall from the city telling everyone to be in a safe place by midnight tonight. The beach communities are getting their water & sewer shut off at 8 p.m., not restored until Saturday earliest. Curfew for them starts at 10 p.m., ends Saturday morning (which I take to mean bridges are closing tonight). Evac zones A, B, and C (basically anyone within sight of water or a city flood zone) are under mandatory evacuations. This doesn't affect me because I'm on "high ground".
But the worst of this is that most of the tracks now have Matthew curving back into the Atlantic to loop around and hit Florida a second time. And I find myself worried it might crash into Nicole and make an even nastier mess.
Of course everything's so erratic, they can't predict what Matthew is going to do after it curves away from the Carolinas, but I just see Ivan all over again.
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Brandie Tarvin (10/6/2016)
This doesn't affect me because I'm on "high ground".Isn't that where it's most windy? :blink:
I hope everything turns out ok. You guys be safe.
--Jeff Moden
RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)
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