Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • Sean Lange (5/9/2016)


    So I brought back some yummy foods from New Orleans. I got some crawfish and pork sausage, some gator and pork sausage and a couple gator fillets. This was all frozen so transporting it was pretty simple. My youngest (who is a fairly picky eater) is getting super mad at me because he REALLY wants to try gator. I am going to grind up the gator with some pork belly and render it in bacon fat. Then make some sliders and put them on the smoker.

    Hungry now, time for a bacon butty.

    Gator's ok, it's what you might expect seagull to taste like - similar to chicken but vaguely fishy. Probably closer to frogs legs. The crawfish and pork sausage sounds awesome. I can imagine it working well with Spanish dishes like arroz brut.

    What the hell is a slider? It's as unappetizing as a "bucket"!

    “Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • ChrisM@Work (5/10/2016)


    Sean Lange (5/9/2016)


    So I brought back some yummy foods from New Orleans. I got some crawfish and pork sausage, some gator and pork sausage and a couple gator fillets. This was all frozen so transporting it was pretty simple. My youngest (who is a fairly picky eater) is getting super mad at me because he REALLY wants to try gator. I am going to grind up the gator with some pork belly and render it in bacon fat. Then make some sliders and put them on the smoker.

    Hungry now, time for a bacon butty.

    Gator's ok, it's what you might expect seagull to taste like - similar to chicken but vaguely fishy. Probably closer to frogs legs. The crawfish and pork sausage sounds awesome. I can imagine it working well with Spanish dishes like arroz brut.

    What the hell is a slider? It's as unappetizing as a "bucket"!

    I think a slider is like a mini burger?

  • BLOB_EATER (5/10/2016)


    ChrisM@Work (5/10/2016)


    Sean Lange (5/9/2016)


    So I brought back some yummy foods from New Orleans. I got some crawfish and pork sausage, some gator and pork sausage and a couple gator fillets. This was all frozen so transporting it was pretty simple. My youngest (who is a fairly picky eater) is getting super mad at me because he REALLY wants to try gator. I am going to grind up the gator with some pork belly and render it in bacon fat. Then make some sliders and put them on the smoker.

    Hungry now, time for a bacon butty.

    Gator's ok, it's what you might expect seagull to taste like - similar to chicken but vaguely fishy. Probably closer to frogs legs. The crawfish and pork sausage sounds awesome. I can imagine it working well with Spanish dishes like arroz brut.

    What the hell is a slider? It's as unappetizing as a "bucket"!

    I think a slider is like a mini burger?

    Aren't they small enough already? :Whistling:

    “Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • ChrisM@Work (5/10/2016)


    BLOB_EATER (5/10/2016)


    ChrisM@Work (5/10/2016)


    Sean Lange (5/9/2016)


    So I brought back some yummy foods from New Orleans. I got some crawfish and pork sausage, some gator and pork sausage and a couple gator fillets. This was all frozen so transporting it was pretty simple. My youngest (who is a fairly picky eater) is getting super mad at me because he REALLY wants to try gator. I am going to grind up the gator with some pork belly and render it in bacon fat. Then make some sliders and put them on the smoker.

    Hungry now, time for a bacon butty.

    Gator's ok, it's what you might expect seagull to taste like - similar to chicken but vaguely fishy. Probably closer to frogs legs. The crawfish and pork sausage sounds awesome. I can imagine it working well with Spanish dishes like arroz brut.

    What the hell is a slider? It's as unappetizing as a "bucket"!

    I think a slider is like a mini burger?

    Aren't they small enough already? :Whistling:

    Sliders are closer to a single mouthful than a decent size burger. It's more acceptable to eat more than one of them at once than.


    On two occasions I have been asked, "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" ... I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.
    —Charles Babbage, Passages from the Life of a Philosopher

    How to post a question to get the most help http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537

  • BWFC (5/10/2016)


    ChrisM@Work (5/10/2016)


    BLOB_EATER (5/10/2016)


    ChrisM@Work (5/10/2016)


    Sean Lange (5/9/2016)


    So I brought back some yummy foods from New Orleans. I got some crawfish and pork sausage, some gator and pork sausage and a couple gator fillets. This was all frozen so transporting it was pretty simple. My youngest (who is a fairly picky eater) is getting super mad at me because he REALLY wants to try gator. I am going to grind up the gator with some pork belly and render it in bacon fat. Then make some sliders and put them on the smoker.

    Hungry now, time for a bacon butty.

    Gator's ok, it's what you might expect seagull to taste like - similar to chicken but vaguely fishy. Probably closer to frogs legs. The crawfish and pork sausage sounds awesome. I can imagine it working well with Spanish dishes like arroz brut.

    What the hell is a slider? It's as unappetizing as a "bucket"!

    I think a slider is like a mini burger?

    Aren't they small enough already? :Whistling:

    Sliders are closer to a single mouthful than a decent size burger. It's more acceptable to eat more than one of them at once than.

    Oh right, like a Thai fishcake then? Speaking of which, the same seasonings might go well with Sean's gator.

    “Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (5/9/2016)


    Oy! SSMS IS defective, thank you very much.

    It still hasn't crunched those winning lottery ticket numbers despite 10 years of me running that script.

    Check your use of DBCC TIMEWARP. If you jump to the wrong point in the future to retrieve the numbers, you'll have the right numbers for the wrong date. I wonder what GETDATE() will return in the future and if that value will persist when you return to the present. Then again, maybe getting the numbers from the future changes that event when it eventually does occur. :hehe:

    GETDATE()? What does that do?

    *cough*

    😉

    Thomas Rushton
    blog: https://thelonedba.wordpress.com

  • I am seeing a lot of training events recently and I am wondering, If level 300 is intermediate level, level 400 is advanced, then what is level 500? Superman level?

  • BLOB_EATER (5/10/2016)


    I am seeing a lot of training events recently and I am wondering, If level 300 is intermediate level, level 400 is advanced, then what is level 500? Superman level?

    500 is 'have the debugger open before you start' type session. It's 'expert' level. Not many people teach them (they're very hard work). Bob Ward does a level 500 every PASS summit, Adam Machanic often does one, Paul Randal sometimes does one (on the DB engine side, that is)

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • GilaMonster (5/10/2016)


    BLOB_EATER (5/10/2016)


    I am seeing a lot of training events recently and I am wondering, If level 300 is intermediate level, level 400 is advanced, then what is level 500? Superman level?

    500 is 'have the debugger open before you start' type session. It's 'expert' level. Not many people teach them (they're very hard work). Bob Ward does a level 500 every PASS summit, Adam Machanic often does one, Paul Randal sometimes does one (on the DB engine side, that is)

    Ah I see, thanks for answering. Definitely not one for me then.

  • Brandie Tarvin (5/9/2016)


    Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Phil Parkin (5/9/2016)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (5/9/2016)


    Who needs a desk when one can bang ones head against this?

    😎

    Occam's razor clearly does not apply in this case. Instead, perhaps, there has been a great disturbance in The Force, which has somehow affected selected SSMS installs.

    I'll give it a go, but I'm not sure I'll be able to help. The OP seems stuck on SSMS being defective. We'll see.

    Oy! SSMS IS defective, thank you very much.

    It still hasn't crunched those winning lottery ticket numbers despite 10 years of me running that script.

    I've been deleting emails from the list for a week... nice to see that things haven't changed.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • It was great to see Threadizens last week at SQL Bits. Awesome event.

    And I had something I was supposed to say about Gianluca... just can't remember what it was... (keep those payments coming).

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • Grant Fritchey (5/10/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (5/9/2016)


    Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Phil Parkin (5/9/2016)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (5/9/2016)


    Who needs a desk when one can bang ones head against this?

    😎

    Occam's razor clearly does not apply in this case. Instead, perhaps, there has been a great disturbance in The Force, which has somehow affected selected SSMS installs.

    I'll give it a go, but I'm not sure I'll be able to help. The OP seems stuck on SSMS being defective. We'll see.

    Oy! SSMS IS defective, thank you very much.

    It still hasn't crunched those winning lottery ticket numbers despite 10 years of me running that script.

    I've been deleting emails from the list for a week... nice to see that things haven't changed.

    Same s### list, different day

    😎

  • Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (5/9/2016)


    Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Phil Parkin (5/9/2016)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (5/9/2016)


    Who needs a desk when one can bang ones head against this?

    😎

    Occam's razor clearly does not apply in this case. Instead, perhaps, there has been a great disturbance in The Force, which has somehow affected selected SSMS installs.

    I'll give it a go, but I'm not sure I'll be able to help. The OP seems stuck on SSMS being defective. We'll see.

    Oy! SSMS IS defective, thank you very much.

    It still hasn't crunched those winning lottery ticket numbers despite 10 years of me running that script.

    Check your use of DBCC TIMEWARP. If you jump to the wrong point in the future to retrieve the numbers, you'll have the right numbers for the wrong date. I wonder what GETDATE() will return in the future and if that value will persist when you return to the present. Then again, maybe getting the numbers from the future changes that event when it eventually does occur. :hehe:

    Hmmmmm.

    You know what? I think I missed a paren or a quote. That would explain the weird SQL error I got yesterday.

    Attempt to retrieve data for object failed for Server 'Lottery'. (Microsoft.SqlServer.Smo)

    Additional information:

    Index was outside the bounds of the array. (Microsoft.SqlServer.Smo)

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • Brandie Tarvin (5/10/2016)


    Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (5/9/2016)


    Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Phil Parkin (5/9/2016)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (5/9/2016)


    Who needs a desk when one can bang ones head against this?

    😎

    Occam's razor clearly does not apply in this case. Instead, perhaps, there has been a great disturbance in The Force, which has somehow affected selected SSMS installs.

    I'll give it a go, but I'm not sure I'll be able to help. The OP seems stuck on SSMS being defective. We'll see.

    Oy! SSMS IS defective, thank you very much.

    It still hasn't crunched those winning lottery ticket numbers despite 10 years of me running that script.

    Check your use of DBCC TIMEWARP. If you jump to the wrong point in the future to retrieve the numbers, you'll have the right numbers for the wrong date. I wonder what GETDATE() will return in the future and if that value will persist when you return to the present. Then again, maybe getting the numbers from the future changes that event when it eventually does occur. :hehe:

    Hmmmmm.

    You know what? I think I missed a paren or a quote. That would explain the weird SQL error I got yesterday.

    Attempt to retrieve data for object failed for Server 'Lottery'. (Microsoft.SqlServer.Smo)

    Additional information:

    Index was outside the bounds of the array. (Microsoft.SqlServer.Smo)

    Whatever you do, I hope you don't get this error:

    The attempt to return before you leave generated an unknown error.

    This is a particularly dangerous situation, as it may cause a rip in the space time continuum.

    Your version of the .NET framework does not support tearing in this context.

    :hehe:

  • ThomasRushton (5/10/2016)


    Ed Wagner (5/9/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (5/9/2016)


    Oy! SSMS IS defective, thank you very much.

    It still hasn't crunched those winning lottery ticket numbers despite 10 years of me running that script.

    Check your use of DBCC TIMEWARP. If you jump to the wrong point in the future to retrieve the numbers, you'll have the right numbers for the wrong date. I wonder what GETDATE() will return in the future and if that value will persist when you return to the present. Then again, maybe getting the numbers from the future changes that event when it eventually does occur. :hehe:

    GETDATE()? What does that do?

    *cough*

    😉

    If you use GETDATE() as the 67.5th parameter of DBCC TIMEWARP, it will set the time you will return to from the time you set. But it functions like GETUTCDATE(), so you may return, depending on your local timezone, to the past or the future...

    But if you set your target time and date to the same time and date GETDATE() will return, you'll find yourself trying to occupy the same space as yourself at that time...

    And that's a bad thing, as this fellow found out

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