Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Michael L John One Orange Chip Points: 27055 More actions · Answer 1

Jeff Moden (2/11/2016)
Michael L John (2/11/2016)
Sean Lange (2/11/2016)
Grumpy DBA (2/11/2016)
^ I think Michael L John beats you in the "dating yourself" category.
Indeed!!
Yeah, but I'm still younger than Moden!
Yeah... but I'm better looking and, if I lay on my back, I'm two inches taller, as well. 😉

Well, we will just have to take your word on the taller thing. If you keep saying it to yourself, then it will eventually be true.

Michael L John
If you assassinate a DBA, would you pull a trigger?
To properly post on a forum:
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/61537/

Alan Burstein SSC Guru Points: 61141 More actions · Answer 2

For those of you who are into quantum mechanics...

IT'S OFFICIAL: Gravitational waves have been detected, Einstein was right

"I cant stress enough the importance of switching from a sequential files mindset to set-based thinking. After you make the switch, you can spend your time tuning and optimizing your queries instead of maintaining lengthy, poor-performing code."

-- Itzik Ben-Gan 2001

jasona.work SSC Guru Points: 50117 More actions · Answer 3

Ed Wagner (2/11/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Grumpy DBA (2/11/2016)
At least he didn't name it WOPR ("shall we play a game?").
No, that's one of my domain controllers.
It's an older box.
😎
(Now I want to go and rename my servers after these machines...)
Uh oh. :w00t::w00t::w00t:

Uh oh is right!

I came home tonight, and after I came in the door, my server rack came stomping up the basement steps, looked at me with one of the switches on it, and asked if I was Sarah Conner...

When I said no, it started stomping into the garage, but it only got a couple steps before the cord came unplugged down in the basement and it stopped...

Should I grab an extension cord and plug it back in?

:ermm:

Thomas Rushton SSC-Insane Points: 22649 More actions · Answer 4

jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Ed Wagner (2/11/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Grumpy DBA (2/11/2016)
At least he didn't name it WOPR ("shall we play a game?").
No, that's one of my domain controllers.
It's an older box.
😎
(Now I want to go and rename my servers after these machines...)
Uh oh. :w00t::w00t::w00t:
Uh oh is right!
I came home tonight, and after I came in the door, my server rack came stomping up the basement steps, looked at me with one of the switches on it, and asked if I was Sarah Conner...
When I said no, it started stomping into the garage, but it only got a couple steps before the cord came unplugged down in the basement and it stopped...
Should I grab an extension cord and plug it back in?
:ermm:

Not if you want to sleep tonight...

Thomas Rushton
blog: https://thelonedba.wordpress.com

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 5

Alan.B (2/11/2016)
For those of you who are into ~~quantum mechanics~~ relativity...
IT'S OFFICIAL: Gravitational waves have been detected, Einstein was right

</pedantic>

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398882 More actions · Answer 6

jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Ed Wagner (2/11/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Grumpy DBA (2/11/2016)
At least he didn't name it WOPR ("shall we play a game?").
No, that's one of my domain controllers.
It's an older box.
😎
(Now I want to go and rename my servers after these machines...)
Uh oh. :w00t::w00t::w00t:
Uh oh is right!
I came home tonight, and after I came in the door, my server rack came stomping up the basement steps, looked at me with one of the switches on it, and asked if I was Sarah Conner...
When I said no, it started stomping into the garage, but it only got a couple steps before the cord came unplugged down in the basement and it stopped...
Should I grab an extension cord and plug it back in?
:ermm:

Get a generator and strap it to it's back. Let's see what happens.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 7

Grant Fritchey (2/12/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Ed Wagner (2/11/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Grumpy DBA (2/11/2016)
At least he didn't name it WOPR ("shall we play a game?").
No, that's one of my domain controllers.
It's an older box.
😎
(Now I want to go and rename my servers after these machines...)
Uh oh. :w00t::w00t::w00t:
Uh oh is right!
I came home tonight, and after I came in the door, my server rack came stomping up the basement steps, looked at me with one of the switches on it, and asked if I was Sarah Conner...
When I said no, it started stomping into the garage, but it only got a couple steps before the cord came unplugged down in the basement and it stopped...
Should I grab an extension cord and plug it back in?
:ermm:
Get a generator and strap it to it's back. Let's see what happens.

That would be pretty cool. Be sure to install a chair so you can ride along. Just keep the emergency switch to kill the power close in case it decides you're its biggest threat.

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions

Grumpy DBA SSChampion Points: 12515 More actions · Answer 8

Grant Fritchey (2/12/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Ed Wagner (2/11/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Grumpy DBA (2/11/2016)
At least he didn't name it WOPR ("shall we play a game?").
No, that's one of my domain controllers.
It's an older box.
😎
(Now I want to go and rename my servers after these machines...)
Uh oh. :w00t::w00t::w00t:
Uh oh is right!
I came home tonight, and after I came in the door, my server rack came stomping up the basement steps, looked at me with one of the switches on it, and asked if I was Sarah Conner...
When I said no, it started stomping into the garage, but it only got a couple steps before the cord came unplugged down in the basement and it stopped...
Should I grab an extension cord and plug it back in?
:ermm:
Get a generator and strap it to it's back. Let's see what happens.

I fear we wouldn't see any more posts from jason if his server rack had a generator.

djj SSCoach Points: 18831 More actions · Answer 9

Alan.B (2/11/2016)
For those of you who are into quantum mechanics...
IT'S OFFICIAL: Gravitational waves have been detected, Einstein was right

I have a sinking feeling about this.

Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 10

Ed Wagner (2/12/2016)
Grant Fritchey (2/12/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Ed Wagner (2/11/2016)
jasona.work (2/11/2016)
Grumpy DBA (2/11/2016)
At least he didn't name it WOPR ("shall we play a game?").
No, that's one of my domain controllers.
It's an older box.
😎
(Now I want to go and rename my servers after these machines...)
Uh oh. :w00t::w00t::w00t:
Uh oh is right!
I came home tonight, and after I came in the door, my server rack came stomping up the basement steps, looked at me with one of the switches on it, and asked if I was Sarah Conner...
When I said no, it started stomping into the garage, but it only got a couple steps before the cord came unplugged down in the basement and it stopped...
Should I grab an extension cord and plug it back in?
:ermm:
Get a generator and strap it to it's back. Let's see what happens.
That would be pretty cool. Be sure to install a chair so you can ride along. Just keep the emergency switch to kill the power close in case it decides you're its biggest threat.

Wouldn't having the power switch close make Jason its biggest threat?

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

Grumpy DBA SSChampion Points: 12515 More actions · Answer 11

Luis Cazares (2/12/2016)
Wouldn't having the power switch close make Jason its biggest threat?

Yes, and once the server rack realizes that... goodbye Jason.

Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 12

Grumpy DBA (2/12/2016)
Luis Cazares (2/12/2016)
Wouldn't having the power switch close make Jason its biggest threat?
Yes, and once the server rack realizes that... goodbye Jason.

If we're possitive, maybe the server rack develops feelings for Jason and just destroys the power switch.

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

Phil Parkin SSC Guru Points: 246960 More actions · Answer 13

GilaMonster (2/12/2016)
Alan.B (2/11/2016)
For those of you who are into ~~quantum mechanics~~ relativity...
IT'S OFFICIAL: Gravitational waves have been detected, Einstein was right
</pedantic>

General Relativity, to be more precise :w00t:

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence
- Martin Rees
The absence of consumable DDL, sample data and desired results is, however, evidence of the absence of my response
- Phil Parkin

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173061 More actions · Answer 14

Thank you backup, Sean. I'm still shaking my head over the OPs initial "you're wrong, that can't be done after all" and then "Well, prove it" responses.

EDIT: I found it kinda interesting that he's trying to blackmail me over it, too.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 15

Brandie Tarvin (2/12/2016)
Thank you backup, Sean. I'm still shaking my head over the OPs initial "you're wrong, that can't be done after all" and then "Well, prove it" responses.
EDIT: I found it kinda interesting that he's trying to blackmail me over it, too.

He is being a tool for no apparent reason. Like he is the only one that can find some crappy code on the internet and use it without understanding it. Lots of smoke blowing and feather ruffling over but I can't figure out why.

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Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/