Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • SQLRNNR (9/4/2015)


    Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)


    SQLRNNR (9/4/2015)


    Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)


    Sean Lange (9/4/2015)


    Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)


    Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)


    I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.

    One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."

    My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."

    Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?

    Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.

    Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "

    hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀

    I read a different and probably for more cynical way. I read it as, "we wrote that report so it is useless anyway". 😀

    Well, another thought that crossed my mind was: 'Oh. So YOU'RE the ones that wrote that report." 🙂

    Or, "Oh, so you're the ones with your heads up your butt."

    Yes, and not only that, John has his head so far up Tom's butt that he can see Larry's feet! 😀

    And there my friends is table contention! :w00t:

    Probably got a bandwidth issue too! 😛



    Alvin Ramard
    Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

    All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

    For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

  • Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)


    I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.

    One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."

    My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."

    Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?

    It's like a fire alarm going off and everyone trying to get through the same door at the same time. It's not always one thing that causes the logjam, it's a bunch at once and then the rest backing up behind them.

    -SQLBill

  • rodjkidd (9/4/2015)


    Brandie,

    I like that analogy, I may have to borrow sometime 🙂

    Rodders...

    Borrowing is fine. Just attribute it if you throw it in a blog or article.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • SQLRNNR (9/4/2015)


    Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)


    SQLRNNR (9/4/2015)


    Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)


    Sean Lange (9/4/2015)


    Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)


    Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)


    I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.

    One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."

    My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."

    Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?

    Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.

    Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "

    hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀

    I read a different and probably for more cynical way. I read it as, "we wrote that report so it is useless anyway". 😀

    Well, another thought that crossed my mind was: 'Oh. So YOU'RE the ones that wrote that report." 🙂

    Or, "Oh, so you're the ones with your heads up your butt."

    Yes, and not only that, John has his head so far up Tom's butt that he can see Larry's feet! 😀

    And there my friends is table contention! :w00t:

    NICE. 🙂

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • SQLBill (9/4/2015)


    Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)


    I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.

    One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."

    My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."

    Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?

    It's like a fire alarm going off and everyone trying to get through the same door at the same time. It's not always one thing that causes the logjam, it's a bunch at once and then the rest backing up behind them.

    -SQLBill

    Oh, this is a good one too.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)


    TomThomson (9/3/2015)


    Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)


    I would definitely attend your presentation on DBCC Timewarp. However, given the topic, expect some serious heckling. 😉

    Those who have never heard of it will sit there in stunned silence with their mouths hanging open. Take pictures.

    Well, here's a nice misquotation to fit that situation:

    Well bred DBAs think it rude

    to show their tonsils in the nude.

    I wonder how many threadites can recognise the source..

    Are we quoting Saints;-)

    😎

    No, we're misquoting one of them.

    Tom

  • TomThomson (9/4/2015)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)


    TomThomson (9/3/2015)


    Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)


    I would definitely attend your presentation on DBCC Timewarp. However, given the topic, expect some serious heckling. 😉

    Those who have never heard of it will sit there in stunned silence with their mouths hanging open. Take pictures.

    Well, here's a nice misquotation to fit that situation:

    Well bred DBAs think it rude

    to show their tonsils in the nude.

    I wonder how many threadites can recognise the source..

    Are we quoting Saints;-)

    😎

    No, we're misquoting one of them.

    Simon Templar?

    ________________________________________________________________
    you can lead a user to data....but you cannot make them think
    and remember....every day is a school day

  • J Livingston SQL (9/5/2015)


    TomThomson (9/4/2015)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)


    TomThomson (9/3/2015)


    Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)


    I would definitely attend your presentation on DBCC Timewarp. However, given the topic, expect some serious heckling. 😉

    Those who have never heard of it will sit there in stunned silence with their mouths hanging open. Take pictures.

    Well, here's a nice misquotation to fit that situation:

    Well bred DBAs think it rude

    to show their tonsils in the nude.

    I wonder how many threadites can recognise the source..

    Are we quoting Saints;-)

    😎

    No, we're misquoting one of them.

    Simon Templar?

    The Saint Versus Scotland Yard

    😎

  • Eirikur Eiriksson (9/5/2015)


    J Livingston SQL (9/5/2015)


    TomThomson (9/4/2015)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)


    TomThomson (9/3/2015)


    Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)


    I would definitely attend your presentation on DBCC Timewarp. However, given the topic, expect some serious heckling. 😉

    Those who have never heard of it will sit there in stunned silence with their mouths hanging open. Take pictures.

    Well, here's a nice misquotation to fit that situation:

    Well bred DBAs think it rude

    to show their tonsils in the nude.

    I wonder how many threadites can recognise the source..

    Are we quoting Saints;-)

    😎

    No, we're misquoting one of them.

    Simon Templar?

    The Saint Versus Scotland Yard

    😎

    American Revisionism :exclamationmark:

    That book was originally (May 1932) titled "The Holy Terror" :-). The American release (Sept 1932) used the revised name :angry:.

    I guess the American publisher thought that American readers wouldn't be bright enough to notice that it was by the same author they'd alread read 8 books from and look to see if it was a new book in the same series, so he had to have a title containing "The Saint" to people to buy it. :hehe:

    Tom

  • Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)


    rodjkidd (9/4/2015)


    Brandie,

    I like that analogy, I may have to borrow sometime 🙂

    Rodders...

    Borrowing is fine. Just attribute it if you throw it in a blog or article.

    But of course Brandie.

    I was thinking more along the lines of doing it for real in the office on a Friday and then leaving, with the team all stuck with a hand in a large jar 😉

    Rodders...

  • rodjkidd (9/6/2015)


    Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)


    rodjkidd (9/4/2015)


    Brandie,

    I like that analogy, I may have to borrow sometime 🙂

    Rodders...

    Borrowing is fine. Just attribute it if you throw it in a blog or article.

    But of course Brandie.

    I was thinking more along the lines of doing it for real in the office on a Friday and then leaving, with the team all stuck with a hand in a large jar 😉

    Rodders...

    Do it. DOOOO ETTTT!!!!!!

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • What a *great* start to the week after a long weekend...

    My work PC decided to create a new user profile for me, the only solution the support guys had was to copy all my old items (desktop, docs, etc) to the new profile and then re-setup everything...

    Except Outlook is auto-configured (and so far failing, so I've got to use the web access,) and our chat applications (yes, we've got two) both don't like the new profile and are refusing to sign in...

    It's going to be a long week...

    At least all my SSMS scripts, docs, etc, all get backed up (although now that's not working because new profile...)

  • jasona.work (9/8/2015)


    What a *great* start to the week after a long weekend...

    My work PC decided to create a new user profile for me, the only solution the support guys had was to copy all my old items (desktop, docs, etc) to the new profile and then re-setup everything...

    Except Outlook is auto-configured (and so far failing, so I've got to use the web access,) and our chat applications (yes, we've got two) both don't like the new profile and are refusing to sign in...

    It's going to be a long week...

    At least all my SSMS scripts, docs, etc, all get backed up (although now that's not working because new profile...)

    Oh, I've had the corrupted desktop.ini problem before. It's not pretty.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • jasona.work (9/8/2015)


    What a *great* start to the week after a long weekend...

    My work PC decided to create a new user profile for me, the only solution the support guys had was to copy all my old items (desktop, docs, etc) to the new profile and then re-setup everything...

    Except Outlook is auto-configured (and so far failing, so I've got to use the web access,) and our chat applications (yes, we've got two) both don't like the new profile and are refusing to sign in...

    It's going to be a long week...

    At least all my SSMS scripts, docs, etc, all get backed up (although now that's not working because new profile...)

    I don't envy you having to use Outlook Web Access.

    I guess the positive note is that your scripts and documents are backed up, so at least you didn't lose anything. Also, if your two chat applications aren't working, maybe you'll be able to get more done. 😛

  • jasona.work (9/8/2015)


    What a *great* start to the week after a long weekend...

    My work PC decided to create a new user profile for me, the only solution the support guys had was to copy all my old items (desktop, docs, etc) to the new profile and then re-setup everything...

    Except Outlook is auto-configured (and so far failing, so I've got to use the web access,) and our chat applications (yes, we've got two) both don't like the new profile and are refusing to sign in...

    It's going to be a long week...

    At least all my SSMS scripts, docs, etc, all get backed up (although now that's not working because new profile...)

    I had an issue once with my profile. I backed up my data, deleted the profile from the local computer and just logged in again. My roaming profile was copied back to that local computer.

    Need an answer? No, you need a question
    My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
    MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

Viewing 15 posts - 50,506 through 50,520 (of 66,738 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Login to reply