September 3, 2015 at 8:01 pm
TomThomson (9/3/2015)
Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)
I would definitely attend your presentation on DBCC Timewarp. However, given the topic, expect some serious heckling. 😉Those who have never heard of it will sit there in stunned silence with their mouths hanging open. Take pictures.
Well, here's a nice misquotation to fit that situation:
Well bred DBAs think it rude
to show their tonsils in the nude.
I wonder how many threadites can recognise the source..
Are we quoting Saints;-)
😎
September 3, 2015 at 9:10 pm
TomThomson (9/3/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/3/2015)
Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
Another funny one today. Provided a DMV and a link to the documentation. I was asked "Is that real?"Nope. Just faked out the entire MSDN web site to pull a prank.
Maybe I've been on the forums too much.
Shall we get started on the MSDN page for DBCC TimeWarp? 😀
No point. every time it's finished someone uses he doc to find out how use the tool to eliminate its doc so that they are the only person with the full documentation (or, when the tech authors are lookig for revenge, "the fool documentation").
That should find its way into the presentation in 2017.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
September 3, 2015 at 9:43 pm
Has anyone seen the Crystal ball?
😎
September 3, 2015 at 9:50 pm
Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)
Has anyone seen the Crystal ball?😎
Given what you were given, I think you did pretty well. If you nailed it, then we know who has the crystal ball.
September 3, 2015 at 10:15 pm
Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)
Has anyone seen the Crystal ball?😎
Given what you were given, I think you did pretty well. If you nailed it, then we know who has the crystal ball.
Don't have the crystal ball unfortunately but working on some BI/MI so this looked relatively straight forward:-P
😎
September 4, 2015 at 6:23 am
Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)
Has anyone seen the Crystal ball?😎
Given what you were given, I think you did pretty well. If you nailed it, then we know who has the crystal ball.
Should have made a bet Ed :-D, got this back
😎
Thanks a lot..it really helped me..It solved my issue
September 4, 2015 at 6:37 am
Eirikur Eiriksson (9/4/2015)
Ed Wagner (9/3/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (9/3/2015)
Has anyone seen the Crystal ball?😎
Given what you were given, I think you did pretty well. If you nailed it, then we know who has the crystal ball.
Should have made a bet Ed :-D, got this back
😎
Thanks a lot..it really helped me..It solved my issue
At least they acknowledged your effort.
September 4, 2015 at 7:17 am
I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.
One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."
My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."
Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?
September 4, 2015 at 7:59 am
Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)
I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."
My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."
Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?
Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.
Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "
hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀
For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]
September 4, 2015 at 8:01 am
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)
I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."
My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."
Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?
Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.
Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "
hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀
I read a different and probably for more cynical way. I read it as, "we wrote that report so it is useless anyway". 😀
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September 4, 2015 at 8:06 am
Brandie,
I like that analogy, I may have to borrow sometime 🙂
Rodders...
September 4, 2015 at 8:09 am
Sean Lange (9/4/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)
I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."
My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."
Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?
Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.
Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "
hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀
I read a different and probably for more cynical way. I read it as, "we wrote that report so it is useless anyway". 😀
Well, another thought that crossed my mind was: 'Oh. So YOU'RE the ones that wrote that report." 🙂
For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]
September 4, 2015 at 8:13 am
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Sean Lange (9/4/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)
I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."
My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."
Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?
Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.
Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "
hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀
I read a different and probably for more cynical way. I read it as, "we wrote that report so it is useless anyway". 😀
Well, another thought that crossed my mind was: 'Oh. So YOU'RE the ones that wrote that report." 🙂
Or, "Oh, so you're the ones with your heads up your butt."
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
September 4, 2015 at 8:18 am
SQLRNNR (9/4/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Sean Lange (9/4/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)
I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."
My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."
Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?
Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.
Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "
hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀
I read a different and probably for more cynical way. I read it as, "we wrote that report so it is useless anyway". 😀
Well, another thought that crossed my mind was: 'Oh. So YOU'RE the ones that wrote that report." 🙂
Or, "Oh, so you're the ones with your heads up your butt."
Yes, and not only that, John has his head so far up Tom's butt that he can see Larry's feet! 😀
For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]
September 4, 2015 at 8:27 am
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
SQLRNNR (9/4/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Sean Lange (9/4/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/4/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (9/4/2015)
I just came up with the great "customer friendly" metaphor for table contention.One business unit wants to know why production report X was timing out, so I went around asking different teams for the names of reports that they might have been running around the same time. One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything."
My response was, "I'm just trying to figure out if the problem was caused by one big thing or a bunch of little things: Like everyone trying to reach into the same narrow-neck candy jar at the same time to get that Reese's Pieces on top, only no one can grab it because no one can get their hand through the neck."
Now it's got me thinking, how have you described table contention to non-IT people?
Not sure how I would describe table contention, but I like how you put it.
Looking at: "One team said "but this is a report we designed ourselves, so I doubt it did anything." "
hmmm. So they think they're better than others? 😀
I read a different and probably for more cynical way. I read it as, "we wrote that report so it is useless anyway". 😀
Well, another thought that crossed my mind was: 'Oh. So YOU'RE the ones that wrote that report." 🙂
Or, "Oh, so you're the ones with your heads up your butt."
Yes, and not only that, John has his head so far up Tom's butt that he can see Larry's feet! 😀
And there my friends is table contention! :w00t:
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
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