Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 1

Precon tomorrow. Two presentations at SQL Sat on Saturday. Usergroup meeting on Tuesday. Flying to Cape Town on Friday, 1 (or maybe 2) presentations on the Saturday. Grad on the next Wednesday. Internal company conference on the Friday. Flying to Durban on the Friday. 4 hours of presentations on the Saturday. Public holiday the Thursday after that, I'm going to need it.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 2

Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!
The STUPID! It burns.
No, no links. Just needed to scream in agony for a moment. Go about your lives.

Anything to do with not wanting to write "dbo." any more?

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 3

Isn't it interesting how people think some things are bugs instead of not doing things right?

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 4

Lynn Pettis (9/3/2015)
Anything to do with not wanting to write "dbo." any more?

Just saw that. :angry:

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 5

Lynn Pettis (9/3/2015)
Isn't it interesting how people think some things are bugs instead of not doing things right?

Well not doing it right is a bug!!

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 6

SQLRNNR (9/3/2015)
Lynn Pettis (9/3/2015)
Isn't it interesting how people think some things are bugs instead of not doing things right?
Well not doing it right is a bug!!

But not with SQL Server, it's a bug in your own code.

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398909 More actions · Answer 7

SQLRNNR (9/3/2015)
Lynn Pettis (9/3/2015)
Isn't it interesting how people think some things are bugs instead of not doing things right?
Well not doing it right is a bug!!

If it doesn't do what I want, when I want, the way I want, it's a bug. Don't give me that crap about design and intent and appropriate use. Just make it all work like it works in my head.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398909 More actions · Answer 8

Another funny one today. Provided a DMV and a link to the documentation. I was asked "Is that real?"

Nope. Just faked out the entire MSDN web site to pull a prank.

Maybe I've been on the forums too much.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173080 More actions · Answer 9

Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
Another funny one today. Provided a DMV and a link to the documentation. I was asked "Is that real?"
Nope. Just faked out the entire MSDN web site to pull a prank.

GRANT! You've destroyed my childhood!

And here I thought you were a serious SQL Server person, not a professional internet prankster. I'm heart-broken. Completely heart-broken.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 10

Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
Another funny one today. Provided a DMV and a link to the documentation. I was asked "Is that real?"
Nope. Just faked out the entire MSDN web site to pull a prank.
Maybe I've been on the forums too much.

Shall we get started on the MSDN page for DBCC TimeWarp? 😀

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 11

Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
Another funny one today. Provided a DMV and a link to the documentation. I was asked "Is that real?"
Nope. Just faked out the entire MSDN web site to pull a prank.
Maybe I've been on the forums too much.

"Only as real as you let it be in your psychotropic world" would have been the proper response.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004414 More actions · Answer 12

Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!
The STUPID! It burns.
No, no links. Just needed to scream in agony for a moment. Go about your lives.

Heh... I should do something like that once in a while. Hmmmm, right now is a good time because suppressing it is making me fat. :sick:

I especially love it when someone says that something like DelimitedSplit8K is slow and if you do a deep dive on their test code, it includes ~~stoooopppiddd things~~ highly inappropriate test methods like using "grooved data", data-type mismatches, incorrect use of the function, even modifying the function, etc, etc, etc. To make it even more frustrating, they close their links so you can't warn people of the mistakes nor show anyone (including the OP) how to fix the mistakes. It's not just one person/place, either, soooooo...

...I'm writing an article about it and have restarted it a dozen times to try to take some of the "AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH" out of it.

I'll be in Little Rhody from Sep 17th through the 21st. We should get together and do what we do best... find the bottom of multiple pitchers. 😀

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004414 More actions · Answer 13

Alvin Ramard (9/3/2015)
Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
Another funny one today. Provided a DMV and a link to the documentation. I was asked "Is that real?"
Nope. Just faked out the entire MSDN web site to pull a prank.
Maybe I've been on the forums too much.
Shall we get started on the MSDN page for DBCC TimeWarp? 😀

Someone should write up an April Fools article for SSC on the benefits of DBCC TimeWarp especially when the flux capacitor is pre-wet with some form of beer.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 14

Jeff Moden (9/3/2015)
Alvin Ramard (9/3/2015)
Grant Fritchey (9/3/2015)
Another funny one today. Provided a DMV and a link to the documentation. I was asked "Is that real?"
Nope. Just faked out the entire MSDN web site to pull a prank.
Maybe I've been on the forums too much.
Shall we get started on the MSDN page for DBCC TimeWarp? 😀
Someone should write up an April Fools article for SSC on the benefits of DBCC TimeWarp especially when the flux capacitor is pre-wet with some form of beer.

We also need someone to do a presentation on that for the April 1st/2017 SQL Saturday. 😀

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 15

Alvin Ramard (9/3/2015)
If I weren't planning on 2 weeks vacation real soon, I'd be off tomorrow.

I am off tomorrow. :-D:-D:-D

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions