Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 1

Grant Fritchey (8/13/2015)
Luis Cazares (8/13/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (8/13/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/13/2015)
WayneS (8/13/2015)
Crystal Ball, report to Aisle 5
I'm sure that a large part of this is English as a second language. But lordy, can the questions be worded more vaguely?
"I need a script"?
😎
"I need help to do what they asked me to do"?
<sigh> winner

I remember one post while ago that stated somthing like: "I have a question". No more details.

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 2

GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Views upon views upon #$%$%^%$#$ views! The same damn table is getting queried 8 times.

I am dealing with that with a few clients.

Then they sit there and wonder why they are getting blocking, or deadlocks, or why the query never finishes.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 3

GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Ed Wagner (8/13/2015)
Yes it does. The 040orno, 041orno and 040pono porn were tossed around and spoken like they were real words. The 045porn raised a few eyebrows at first and sparked some uncomfortable conversations.
I like my TMSHT table

SOM

Better would be

BLLSHT - time to create a table with that name to dump all sorts of nonsense into.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

WayneS SSC Guru Points: 95460 More actions · Answer 4

SQLRNNR (8/13/2015)
GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Views upon views upon #$%$%^%$#$ views! The same damn table is getting queried 8 times.
I am dealing with that with a few clients.
Then they sit there and wonder why they are getting blocking, or deadlocks, or why the query never finishes.

Oh course, what's even better is when a developer sees how a specific indexed view helps with something, so they go and start creating indexed views everywhere. Then two queries (against different tables) start deadlocking. :w00t::w00t::w00t:

Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes

If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!

Links:
For better assistance in answering your questions
Performance Problems
Common date/time routines
Understanding and Using APPLY Part 1 & Part 2

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 5

WayneS (8/13/2015)
SQLRNNR (8/13/2015)
GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Views upon views upon #$%$%^%$#$ views! The same damn table is getting queried 8 times.
I am dealing with that with a few clients.
Then they sit there and wonder why they are getting blocking, or deadlocks, or why the query never finishes.
Oh course, what's even better is when a developer sees how a specific indexed view helps with something, so they go and start creating indexed views everywhere. Then two queries (against different tables) start deadlocking. :w00t::w00t::w00t:

Yup - dealing with that too. Despite telling them it was a bad idea, they did it anyway. Rewrite their queries for them to be 10x faster and consistent, but they opted for index view that is 2x slower than the newly optimized query. Go figure.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 6

SQLRNNR (8/13/2015)
GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Views upon views upon #$%$%^%$#$ views! The same damn table is getting queried 8 times.
I am dealing with that with a few clients.
Then they sit there and wonder why they are getting blocking, or deadlocks, or why the query never finishes.

8 min 50 sec when I started. Currently running in 1 min 11. Several views to go.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173068 More actions · Answer 7

GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Views upon views upon #$%$%^%$#$ views! The same damn table is getting queried 8 times.

Oh, don't get me started. I cannot convince our power users to STOP THAT S**T.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

jasona.work SSC Guru Points: 50117 More actions · Answer 8

Luis Cazares (8/13/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/13/2015)
Luis Cazares (8/13/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (8/13/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/13/2015)
WayneS (8/13/2015)
Crystal Ball, report to Aisle 5
I'm sure that a large part of this is English as a second language. But lordy, can the questions be worded more vaguely?
"I need a script"?
😎
"I need help to do what they asked me to do"?
<sigh> winner
I remember one post while ago that stated somthing like: "I have a question". No more details.

I was going to ask if anyone ever felt the urge to get snarky with their answers to questions like this, then I saw Jason B already did...

:hehe:

The Great Karnack says:

SELECT NAME

FROM SYS.SERVER_PRINCIPALS

WHERE HASCLUE=1

(0 row(s) affected)

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 9

GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
SQLRNNR (8/13/2015)
GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Views upon views upon #$%$%^%$#$ views! The same damn table is getting queried 8 times.
I am dealing with that with a few clients.
Then they sit there and wonder why they are getting blocking, or deadlocks, or why the query never finishes.
8 min 50 sec when I started. Currently running in 1 min 11. Several views to go.

I have a proc that executes the same base query 4 times. Twice for updates, twice for inserts. The query hits the same view four times (thanks to nesting).

The proc has brought down a production server multiple times and doesn't get to finish - as it is written. The last time we killed it after 6 hrs.

I rewrote it to run in about 7 minutes total time. Removed the nested views and hit the base tables direct. Only runs that query once, then performs 1 update and 1 insert.

The biz is reluctant to put the changes in.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173068 More actions · Answer 10

I'm stuck in an episode of Dilbert.

ME: Guys, we're having trouble connecting to that server you upgraded.

Them: You need to fill out a TPS 1040A-Z978 form and ask for a password reset. That will reset the passwords across all the servers.

ME: Um, I'm only having trouble with one server and the password worked the week before the upgrade? Can't you help me without the form?

Them: We're the hardware team. You need to email the security team.

ME: What's the email address?

Them: FixItFast

OUTLOOK: You do not have permission to email this list.

ME: Expand it and email the individuals, stupid Outlook.

OUTLOOK: Expanding this list is a permanent..

ME: Yay, email sent.

THEM2: You need to fill out a TPS 1040A-Z978 form and ask for a password reset. That will reset the passwords across all the servers.

ME: Really? Wasn't your change supposed to be transparent to all the end users?

THEM2: We can't help it if you upgraded your servers. You need to fill out the form!

ME: You upgraded YOUR servers. Our servers are still the same.

THEM2: If you changed your user account...

ME: I didn't change anything! It worked the week before you upgraded your server!

THEM2: ........................................

THEM2: We should schedule a conference call.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 11

jasona.work (8/13/2015)
Luis Cazares (8/13/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/13/2015)
Luis Cazares (8/13/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (8/13/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/13/2015)
WayneS (8/13/2015)
Crystal Ball, report to Aisle 5
I'm sure that a large part of this is English as a second language. But lordy, can the questions be worded more vaguely?
"I need a script"?
😎
"I need help to do what they asked me to do"?
<sigh> winner
I remember one post while ago that stated somthing like: "I have a question". No more details.
I was going to ask if anyone ever felt the urge to get snarky with their answers to questions like this, then I saw Jason B already did...
:hehe:
The Great Karnack says:
SELECT NAME
FROM SYS.SERVER_PRINCIPALS
WHERE HASCLUE=1
(0 row(s) affected)

*snigger*

I don't recall where that one was but I remember doing it now.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 12

Brandie Tarvin (8/13/2015)
I'm stuck in an episode of Dilbert.
ME: Guys, we're having trouble connecting to that server you upgraded.
Them: You need to fill out a TPS 1040A-Z978 form and ask for a password reset. That will reset the passwords across all the servers.
ME: Um, I'm only having trouble with one server and the password worked the week before the upgrade? Can't you help me without the form?
Them: We're the hardware team. You need to email the security team.
ME: What's the email address?
Them: FixItFast
OUTLOOK: You do not have permission to email this list.
ME: Expand it and email the individuals, stupid Outlook.
OUTLOOK: Expanding this list is a permanent..
ME: Yay, email sent.
THEM2: You need to fill out a TPS 1040A-Z978 form and ask for a password reset. That will reset the passwords across all the servers.
ME: Really? Wasn't your change supposed to be transparent to all the end users?
THEM2: We can't help it if you upgraded your servers. You need to fill out the form!
ME: You upgraded YOUR servers. Our servers are still the same.
THEM2: If you changed your user account...
ME: I didn't change anything! It worked the week before you upgraded your server!
THEM2: ........................................
THEM2: We should schedule a conference call.

That sounds perfectly reasonable.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

WayneS SSC Guru Points: 95460 More actions · Answer 13

Why is it SQLServerCentral gets so many Oracle questions on it?

Do you think it would be beneficial to create an Oracle thread? (Would it actually work?)

Or a banner on pages that says that this site is dedicated to Microsoft SQL Server?

Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes

If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!

Links:
For better assistance in answering your questions
Performance Problems
Common date/time routines
Understanding and Using APPLY Part 1 & Part 2

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398890 More actions · Answer 14

Luis Cazares (8/13/2015)
GilaMonster (8/13/2015)
Views upon views upon #$%$%^%$#$ views! The same damn table is getting queried 8 times.
That reminds me of a job posting I recently received on the mail. Even if looking for a job, I'd try to avoid this place.
JOB DETAILS:
Role: Performance Tuner
Expertise in SQL Database Performance tuning.
Database Server profiling and identifying necessary indexes to be created/dropped to improve performance.
Ability to analyze existing database views that cross databases for performance improvements.
Ability to analyze database activity and identify potential for creating additional views to decrease the number of database calls.
Technologies Expert on Microsoft SQL Profiler and Microsoft SQL Server 2008 SQL Stored Procedures Cross Database Views

YOW!

"Technologies Expert in DOING IT WRONG"

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 15

WayneS (8/13/2015)
Why is it SQLServerCentral gets so many Oracle questions on it?
Do you think it would be beneficial to create an Oracle thread? (Would it actually work?)
Or a banner on pages that says that this site is dedicated to Microsoft SQL Server?

The one year I worked with Oracle I got more help here on the Working with Oracle threads than I did on any of the Oracle sites I visited. They can't get help from their peers so they turn to us.