Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 1

Ed Wagner (8/5/2015)
Lynn Pettis (8/5/2015)
Sean Lange (8/5/2015)
GAH!!! Sometimes I hate having to work with so many different versions of sql all the time. I have been beating my head against the wall trying to write a query with a cross apply to a hard coded list of three values. I swear the syntax is correct...I tried a simple version on my local and it was fine. WTF is the problem?? Oh yeah, production is still running 2005. :crying:
Something seems wrong because CROSS APPLY and OUTER APPLY are available in SQL Server 2005.
Edit:
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms177634(v=sql.90).aspx
CROSS APPLY works in 2005, but not CROSS APPLY (VALUES. I'm sure of this because we still have a SQL 2005 instance as well and it gets really annoying at times. :hehe:

Ah! I see said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

TomThomson SSC Guru Points: 104773 More actions · Answer 2

Eirikur Eiriksson (8/5/2015)
...and a bottle of gusano rojo mezcal to erase the "internal" memory, just in case
😎

That's crul and unusual punishment; anything involving a gusano (whether rojo or any other colour) is third rate crap not decent mezcal. It is commonly held that the only really good mezcal is mezcal which has no insect larva in the bottle, is made from blue agave, and is usually called tequila (because the area around the city with that name is the main area for growing blue agave and making mezcal from it).

Tom

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 3

Lynn Pettis (8/5/2015)
Sean Lange (8/5/2015)
GAH!!! Sometimes I hate having to work with so many different versions of sql all the time. I have been beating my head against the wall trying to write a query with a cross apply to a hard coded list of three values. I swear the syntax is correct...I tried a simple version on my local and it was fine. WTF is the problem?? Oh yeah, production is still running 2005. :crying:
Something seems wrong because CROSS APPLY and OUTER APPLY are available in SQL Server 2005.
Edit:
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms177634(v=sql.90).aspx

But I was using a Table Value Constructor which wasn't available until 2008. I wasn't very clear that my hard coded list was built that way. :hehe:

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Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 4

OMG. It isn't just here, it's every where.

The preliminary schedule for the Pride of the Rockies Soccer Tournament was published today. I sent an email out to all the parents, players, and coaches to let them know the schedule and what field each of the games are on (AFA 2, AFA 3, AFA 5 for examples). Then I tell them I'd like the players at the field 45 minutes before game time. I tell them to use the North Gate to the Air Force Academy, once through the gate, get in the right lane and drive West until you come to the fields. I tell them to plan ahead as I have seen it take an hour or more to get from the North Gate to the fields, especially early in the mornings.

I get an email from one of my parents, "where is this tournament at?" Really, you couldn't figure this out from reading the entire email?

Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 5

TomThomson (8/5/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (8/5/2015)
...and a bottle of gusano rojo mezcal to erase the "internal" memory, just in case
😎
That's crul and unusual punishment; anything involving a gusano (whether rojo or any other colour) is third rate crap not decent mezcal. It is commonly held that the only really good mezcal is mezcal which has no insect larva in the bottle, is made from blue agave, and is usually called tequila (because the area around the city with that name is the main area for growing blue agave and making mezcal from it).

I must disagree with you, Tom. The best is called Sotol and it's harder to find. http://sotol.com/

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398890 More actions · Answer 6

jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
Snippets and a whole pile of script files saved in DropBox and on a creditcard-shaped flash drive (which I need to update).
And to get back on topic:
"What book do I read to become expert on advanced database internals" (paraphrased)
I don't think my reply of "All of them" was appreciated.
What, you mean there's no magic "you're an expert now" book for SQL?
Ideally in a Cliffs' Notes edition?
I'm sorry, I'll get on that right away for you. It should be done in about 8 years.
That won't work, I need it yesterday because I screen-scraped a couple blogs (this one: http://www.scarydba.com/ and this one: http://sqlinthewild.co.za/) and pawned them off as my own to get a DBA job!
(I KID! I'd never do such a thing! Please don't kill me!)
On a side note, anyone want my summer cold? I'll even drive to your house and deliver it in person...

No need. I'm on way to your house....

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259115 More actions · Answer 7

SQLRNNR (8/5/2015)
And in "back to the countdown" news:
49,913 posts with this post:-D

Yup. Page 999 for me.

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

jasona.work SSC Guru Points: 50117 More actions · Answer 8

Grant Fritchey (8/5/2015)
jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
Snippets and a whole pile of script files saved in DropBox and on a creditcard-shaped flash drive (which I need to update).
And to get back on topic:
"What book do I read to become expert on advanced database internals" (paraphrased)
I don't think my reply of "All of them" was appreciated.
What, you mean there's no magic "you're an expert now" book for SQL?
Ideally in a Cliffs' Notes edition?
I'm sorry, I'll get on that right away for you. It should be done in about 8 years.
That won't work, I need it yesterday because I screen-scraped a couple blogs (this one: http://www.scarydba.com/ and this one: http://sqlinthewild.co.za/) and pawned them off as my own to get a DBA job!
(I KID! I'd never do such a thing! Please don't kill me!)
On a side note, anyone want my summer cold? I'll even drive to your house and deliver it in person...
No need. I'm on way to your house....

Uh oh, Grant must really like being miserable...

Or he *really* likes me and wants to meet me in person...

😎

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736280 More actions · Answer 9

Alvin Ramard (8/4/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (8/4/2015)
Since we're all piling on the behavior of others, I was wondering.
Is there value in getting the questions/knowledge that people lack in interviews published? Not really as a cheat sheet, but as a way to surface that knowledge that interviewers think is important. I suspect it would be a long list, so it's unlikely that anyone could just memorize all the answers.
However even if they did, I think they'd be learning.
I was actually thinking to try and collect a list of things from interviewers and put a session together. I meet so many 101 people at events, they might benefit from a session that guides them towards learning a few things first.
What would they be learning?
I'm afraid that more would be learning how to do well in an interview than there would be people learning about SQL Server.

Memorizing answers, if you do enough of them, will impart some knowledge. It doesn't make you an expert, but I think it would continue to kickstart learning. Especially if followup questions were out there. It's not enough to know what a clustered index is. What do you pick for one?

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004372 More actions · Answer 10

Grant Fritchey (8/5/2015)
jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
Snippets and a whole pile of script files saved in DropBox and on a creditcard-shaped flash drive (which I need to update).
And to get back on topic:
"What book do I read to become expert on advanced database internals" (paraphrased)
I don't think my reply of "All of them" was appreciated.
What, you mean there's no magic "you're an expert now" book for SQL?
Ideally in a Cliffs' Notes edition?
I'm sorry, I'll get on that right away for you. It should be done in about 8 years.
That won't work, I need it yesterday because I screen-scraped a couple blogs (this one: http://www.scarydba.com/ and this one: http://sqlinthewild.co.za/) and pawned them off as my own to get a DBA job!
(I KID! I'd never do such a thing! Please don't kill me!)
On a side note, anyone want my summer cold? I'll even drive to your house and deliver it in person...
No need. I'm on way to your house....

I've got just the ride for you, Grant. I gave up on the handheld weapons. I'd like to introduce you to the new, improved THVPL (Tactical High Velocity Porkchop Launcher). Rumor has it that it could replace the A10 Wart Hog! (scroll down...)

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398890 More actions · Answer 11

Jeff Moden (8/6/2015)
I've got just the ride for you, Grant. I gave up on the handheld weapons. I'd like to introduce you to the new, improved THVPL (Tactical High Velocity Porkchop Launcher). Rumor has it that it could replace the A10 Wart Hog! (scroll down...)

SWEET!

I'll take two.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173068 More actions · Answer 12

Grant Fritchey (8/7/2015)
Jeff Moden (8/6/2015)
I've got just the ride for you, Grant. I gave up on the handheld weapons. I'd like to introduce you to the new, improved THVPL (Tactical High Velocity Porkchop Launcher). Rumor has it that it could replace the A10 Wart Hog! (scroll down...)
SWEET!
I'll take two.

What's the ROI on that?

My boss will want to know before we put in our order. 😛

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259115 More actions · Answer 13

Brandie Tarvin (8/7/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/7/2015)
Jeff Moden (8/6/2015)
I've got just the ride for you, Grant. I gave up on the handheld weapons. I'd like to introduce you to the new, improved THVPL (Tactical High Velocity Porkchop Launcher). Rumor has it that it could replace the A10 Wart Hog! (scroll down...)
SWEET!
I'll take two.
What's the ROI on that?
My boss will want to know before we put in our order. 😛

Over 9000 😎

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 14

Koen Verbeeck (8/7/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (8/7/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/7/2015)
Jeff Moden (8/6/2015)
I've got just the ride for you, Grant. I gave up on the handheld weapons. I'd like to introduce you to the new, improved THVPL (Tactical High Velocity Porkchop Launcher). Rumor has it that it could replace the A10 Wart Hog! (scroll down...)
SWEET!
I'll take two.
What's the ROI on that?
My boss will want to know before we put in our order. 😛
Over 9000 😎

The real question is where we'd store the THVPLs until they're needed. We'd need to have our own strike team - the THVPST. It would also use an awful lot of potential bacon by using the whole hog. The image, however, is priceless. 😛

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions

jasona.work SSC Guru Points: 50117 More actions · Answer 15

Jeff Moden (8/6/2015)
Grant Fritchey (8/5/2015)
jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
jasona.work (8/5/2015)
GilaMonster (8/5/2015)
Snippets and a whole pile of script files saved in DropBox and on a creditcard-shaped flash drive (which I need to update).
And to get back on topic:
"What book do I read to become expert on advanced database internals" (paraphrased)
I don't think my reply of "All of them" was appreciated.
What, you mean there's no magic "you're an expert now" book for SQL?
Ideally in a Cliffs' Notes edition?
I'm sorry, I'll get on that right away for you. It should be done in about 8 years.
That won't work, I need it yesterday because I screen-scraped a couple blogs (this one: http://www.scarydba.com/ and this one: http://sqlinthewild.co.za/) and pawned them off as my own to get a DBA job!
(I KID! I'd never do such a thing! Please don't kill me!)
On a side note, anyone want my summer cold? I'll even drive to your house and deliver it in person...
No need. I'm on way to your house....
I've got just the ride for you, Grant. I gave up on the handheld weapons. I'd like to introduce you to the new, improved THVPL (Tactical High Velocity Porkchop Launcher). Rumor has it that it could replace the A10 Wart Hog! (scroll down...)

So *THAT'S* what they're looking to replace the A10s at Selfridge ANG with!

I wondered why I was hearing both jet engines and squeeling pigs overhead...