Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 1

Congratulations Alan! Enjoy her as much as you can.

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398882 More actions · Answer 2

Congrats Alan. That's awesome.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 3

Congratulations, Alan. Enjoy the time with her.

It might not feel like it at first while you're in the mode of sleep deprivation, but the time goes by very quickly.

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions

Eirikur Eiriksson SSC Guru Points: 182911 More actions · Answer 4

Alan.B (6/29/2015)
The posted answers should improve for awhile. A few days ago this happened:
My brand new baby girl! My first baby. I took a month off of work and the only SQL I will be dealing with for the foreseeable future is SQeezing my Little one.:satisfied:

Good job old man:-D

She looks absolutely gorgeous! Very happy for you!

😎

On the subject of that SQL, I know some optimization tricks....:hehe:

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 5

That's great news Alan!!! Enjoy paternity leave. Just wait a couple weeks and that sleepy feeling you remember from college will pale in comparison to weeks on end with no sleeping duration longer than a couple hours. 😉

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

spaghettidba SSC Guru Points: 105732 More actions · Answer 6

Congrats Alan! My second daughter turns 3 months on Friday and I can confirm that SQL stands for Sleep Quality Lowered in this case 😀

-- Gianluca Sartori

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 7

Alan.B (6/29/2015)
The posted answers should improve for awhile. A few days ago this happened:
My brand new baby girl! My first baby. I took a month off of work and the only SQL I will be dealing with for the foreseeable future is SQeezing my Little one.:satisfied:

Congrats! It takes a special man to raise girls (I have three!).

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259105 More actions · Answer 8

Alan.B (6/29/2015)
The posted answers should improve for awhile. A few days ago this happened:
...
My brand new baby girl! My first baby. I took a month off of work and the only SQL I will be dealing with for the foreseeable future is SQeezing my Little one.:satisfied:

Congrats Alan!

Having a daughter myself, I know what you're up against 😀

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736212 More actions · Answer 9

Jack Corbett (6/29/2015)
Congratulations Alan. Nothing like the first child.

Ditto.

Congrats

Dwain Camps SSC Guru Points: 86948 More actions · Answer 10

Congratulations Alan.B! Thanks for sharing.

My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004356 More actions · Answer 11

Congratulations, Alan and family!

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

David Burrows SSC Guru Points: 65142 More actions · Answer 12

Congratulations, Alan 🙂

Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon.

David Burrows SSC Guru Points: 65142 More actions · Answer 13

And from ten years ago!

Don't forget good procedure

DROP Dirty_Nappy

GO

SELECT Clean_Nappy FROM Nappy_Pile WHERE COUNT(Clean_Nappy) > 0

INSERT Baby INTO Clean_Nappy

GRANT ALL Smiles to Baby

GO

And the mandatory function

CREATE FUNCTION Daddys_Turn ()

RETURNS int

AS

BEGIN

WHILE(Baby_Screaming)

BEGIN

INSERT INTO Babys_Mouth SELECT Warm_Milk FROM Bottle

WHILE ( Wind )

BEGIN

UPDATE Babys_Back

SELECT Hand FROM Daddy WITH (HOLDLOCK)

END

ALTER Nappy

DROP Dirty

ADD Clean

CREATE UNIQUE INDEX Clean_Nappy

ON Baby ( Nappy )

WITH PAD_INDEX, FILLFACTOR = 0

GRANT Sleep TO Mummy

DENY Sleep TO Daddy

END

RETURN 0

END

GO

Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon.

BLOB EATER SSChampion Points: 14609 More actions · Answer 14

Congrats and those SQL scripts are awesome! I can so relate to them - well the DENY part.

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259105 More actions · Answer 15

BL0B_EATER (6/30/2015)
Congrats and those SQL scripts are awesome! I can so relate to them - well the DENY part.

Sleep? What's that? Must've forgotten about it 🙂

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP