Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • Congratulations Alan! Enjoy her as much as you can.

    Luis C.
    General Disclaimer:
    Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

    How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2
  • Congrats Alan. That's awesome.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • Congratulations, Alan. Enjoy the time with her.

    It might not feel like it at first while you're in the mode of sleep deprivation, but the time goes by very quickly.

  • Alan.B (6/29/2015)


    The posted answers should improve for awhile. A few days ago this happened:

    My brand new baby girl! My first baby. I took a month off of work and the only SQL I will be dealing with for the foreseeable future is SQeezing my Little one.:satisfied:

    Good job old man:-D

    She looks absolutely gorgeous! Very happy for you!

    😎

    On the subject of that SQL, I know some optimization tricks....:hehe:

  • That's great news Alan!!! Enjoy paternity leave. Just wait a couple weeks and that sleepy feeling you remember from college will pale in comparison to weeks on end with no sleeping duration longer than a couple hours. 😉

    _______________________________________________________________

    Need help? Help us help you.

    Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

    Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

    Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
    Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
    Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
    Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

  • Congrats Alan! My second daughter turns 3 months on Friday and I can confirm that SQL stands for Sleep Quality Lowered in this case 😀

    -- Gianluca Sartori

  • Alan.B (6/29/2015)


    The posted answers should improve for awhile. A few days ago this happened:

    My brand new baby girl! My first baby. I took a month off of work and the only SQL I will be dealing with for the foreseeable future is SQeezing my Little one.:satisfied:

    Congrats! It takes a special man to raise girls (I have three!).

  • Alan.B (6/29/2015)


    The posted answers should improve for awhile. A few days ago this happened:

    ...

    My brand new baby girl! My first baby. I took a month off of work and the only SQL I will be dealing with for the foreseeable future is SQeezing my Little one.:satisfied:

    Congrats Alan!

    Having a daughter myself, I know what you're up against 😀

    Need an answer? No, you need a question
    My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
    MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

  • Jack Corbett (6/29/2015)


    Congratulations Alan. Nothing like the first child.

    Ditto.

    Congrats

  • Congratulations Alan.B! Thanks for sharing.


    My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]

    My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

    My advice:
    INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
    The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

    Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
    Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
    Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
    [url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

  • Congratulations, Alan and family!

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • Congratulations, Alan 🙂

    Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
    Anon.

  • And from ten years ago!

    Don't forget good procedure

    DROP Dirty_Nappy

    GO

    SELECT Clean_Nappy FROM Nappy_Pile WHERE COUNT(Clean_Nappy) > 0

    INSERT Baby INTO Clean_Nappy

    GRANT ALL Smiles to Baby

    GO

    And the mandatory function

    CREATE FUNCTION Daddys_Turn ()

    RETURNS int

    AS

    BEGIN

    WHILE(Baby_Screaming)

    BEGIN

    INSERT INTO Babys_Mouth SELECT Warm_Milk FROM Bottle

    WHILE ( Wind )

    BEGIN

    UPDATE Babys_Back

    SELECT Hand FROM Daddy WITH (HOLDLOCK)

    END

    ALTER Nappy

    DROP Dirty

    ADD Clean

    CREATE UNIQUE INDEX Clean_Nappy

    ON Baby ( Nappy )

    WITH PAD_INDEX, FILLFACTOR = 0

    GRANT Sleep TO Mummy

    DENY Sleep TO Daddy

    END

    RETURN 0

    END

    GO

    Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
    Anon.

  • Congrats and those SQL scripts are awesome! I can so relate to them - well the DENY part.

  • BL0B_EATER (6/30/2015)


    Congrats and those SQL scripts are awesome! I can so relate to them - well the DENY part.

    Sleep? What's that? Must've forgotten about it 🙂

    Need an answer? No, you need a question
    My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
    MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

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