Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004410 More actions · Answer 1

Sean Lange (6/17/2015)
BL0B_EATER (6/17/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (6/17/2015)
O. M. G.
You MUST read this link here.
I'm in stitches here.
Number 8 had me, having 2 under 2.5 years of age makes me feel like that!
#7 is my house daily. We have 9 and 6 year old boys.
#12 brings back memories. With both boys I would sit in a rocking chair in their room and read to them before bed. I had many nights were I woke up at 2am in that chair with the boy on my shoulder. 😛

Heh... after 3-1/2 years of training folks at work, I'm almost to the point of #10. 😛

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173080 More actions · Answer 2

Greg Edwards-268690 (6/18/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (6/18/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (6/18/2015)
jasona.work (6/18/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (6/18/2015)
Those are good memories, but I'm glad we're past that.
Left the kids on their own as my wife and I are in the UK. At 14, 16, 23, they're managing the house and horses.
I thought I heard something on the news this morning, and it must've been a big hullaballoo to get on the news here in Michigan, about police and SWAT being called out to break up a massive party on a farm out in Colorado last night?
Wouldn't have been your place Steve?
😉
:hehe:
Not likely. We take care of our own issues on the ranch. No SWAT needed.
That's what the horses are trained for. They're very good at breaking up teenage nonsense. @=)
Hey, you'd start behaving too if a horse stepped on your toes! (and that's happened to me twice).
Visiting a buddy, I found out that hungry horses and tennis shoes are not a good recipe.
One time was enough for me.
So if you are misbehaving, they get both feet?

Probably. @=)

But for me, it was two different incidents. The first one not so bad. The second one, a few years later, ended up with me losing the toenail. It was ... unpleasant.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173080 More actions · Answer 3

Can I get some help here from SQL 2012 peeps?

I'm about at my wit's end on this one.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Eirikur Eiriksson SSC Guru Points: 182916 More actions · Answer 4

Too busy to respond and I think it's time to introduce "crystal bullets" since the C-ball is a no show these days, any bullets, fragments or shrapnel should be targeted here

😎

Thought of the Pork Chop Launcher for this but they keep bouncing off:hehe:

Eirikur Eiriksson SSC Guru Points: 182916 More actions · Answer 5

Brandie Tarvin (6/17/2015)
O. M. G.
You MUST read this link here.
I'm in stitches here.

Number 5 is my reality, and in the power of 3 (wife and two daughters) just does my head in every day:-D

😎

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 6

Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Too busy to respond and I think it's time to introduce "crystal bullets" since the C-ball is a no show these days, any bullets, fragments or shrapnel should be targeted here
😎
Thought of the Pork Chop Launcher for this but they keep bouncing off:hehe:

I took a shot at it. Now we will see how my marksmanship is in the dark with solid black targets. 😉

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 7

Well, at least he was polite. I just got thanked for posting a LMGTFY link.

I need to go find a good wall to go bang my head against. :ermm:

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

Eirikur Eiriksson SSC Guru Points: 182916 More actions · Answer 8

Sean Lange (6/18/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Too busy to respond and I think it's time to introduce "crystal bullets" since the C-ball is a no show these days, any bullets, fragments or shrapnel should be targeted here
😎
Thought of the Pork Chop Launcher for this but they keep bouncing off:hehe:
I took a shot at it. Now we will see how my marksmanship is in the dark with solid black targets. 😉

Bullseye Sean! 😉

😎

Eirikur Eiriksson SSC Guru Points: 182916 More actions · Answer 9

Alvin Ramard (6/18/2015)
Well, at least he was polite. I just got thanked for posting a LMGTFY link.
I need to go find a good wall to go bang my head against. :ermm:

I can lend you my keyboard:pinch:

😎

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 10

Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Alvin Ramard (6/18/2015)
Well, at least he was polite. I just got thanked for posting a LMGTFY link.
I need to go find a good wall to go bang my head against. :ermm:
I can lend you my keyboard:pinch:
😎

I need something harder. Maybe a pork chop will do.:cool:

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

Ed Wagner SSC Guru Points: 287026 More actions · Answer 11

Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Sean Lange (6/18/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Too busy to respond and I think it's time to introduce "crystal bullets" since the C-ball is a no show these days, any bullets, fragments or shrapnel should be targeted here
😎
Thought of the Pork Chop Launcher for this but they keep bouncing off:hehe:
I took a shot at it. Now we will see how my marksmanship is in the dark with solid black targets. 😉
Bullseye Sean! 😉
😎

My compliments on your marksmanship. That was pretty impressive, given the lack of detail.

Tally Tables - Performance Personified
String Splitting with True Performance
Best practices on how to ask questions

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 12

Ed Wagner (6/18/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Sean Lange (6/18/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Too busy to respond and I think it's time to introduce "crystal bullets" since the C-ball is a no show these days, any bullets, fragments or shrapnel should be targeted here
😎
Thought of the Pork Chop Launcher for this but they keep bouncing off:hehe:
I took a shot at it. Now we will see how my marksmanship is in the dark with solid black targets. 😉
Bullseye Sean! 😉
😎
My compliments on your marksmanship. That was pretty impressive, given the lack of detail.

Ready!

Fire!

Aim!

Oh wait, that is how we roll at work. 😀 Sometimes you can just get a feeling for what they want and get lucky. I guess today was my day.

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 13

Sean Lange (6/18/2015)
Ed Wagner (6/18/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Sean Lange (6/18/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (6/18/2015)
Too busy to respond and I think it's time to introduce "crystal bullets" since the C-ball is a no show these days, any bullets, fragments or shrapnel should be targeted here
😎
Thought of the Pork Chop Launcher for this but they keep bouncing off:hehe:
I took a shot at it. Now we will see how my marksmanship is in the dark with solid black targets. 😉
Bullseye Sean! 😉
😎
My compliments on your marksmanship. That was pretty impressive, given the lack of detail.
Ready!
Fire!
Aim!
Oh wait, that is how we roll at work. 😀 Sometimes you can just get a feeling for what they want and get lucky. I guess today was my day.

Priceless! Coffee on keyboard :hehe:

^{“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw}

For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 14

Anybody have the mind reading apparatus? I have misplaced mine and could use it over here. http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1696091-2799-1.aspx

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 15

Sean Lange (6/19/2015)
Anybody have the mind reading apparatus? I have misplaced mine and could use it over here. http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1696091-2799-1.aspx

I think this is one of those threads where one should consider just walking away.

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]