May 20, 2015 at 2:29 pm
SQLRNNR (5/20/2015)
Ed Wagner (5/20/2015)
GilaMonster (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
This would be the one that wants to fix ugly queries with a sprinkle of hint perfume when all that's needed is a good shower/rewrite.😎
It appears I haven't managed to run across that one yet. Maybe I should keep it that way.
It sounded like they were in a big hurry (and rightfully so) because the shop floor and warehouse couldn't work. "No time for reading or learning" seemed to be the message. Then they posted that bit about "I'll get to it tomorrow", which completely throws urgency right out the window.
The thing that makes me wonder is that they're been at this since Sunday night and they don't want to hire someone because their local partner doesn't have experience in performance tuning. Yet they won't ask about anyone outside the country. Gail told them her company does this work and does it across country borders, but it was ignored. :crazy:
Most of us consultants (granted most that I know) do work across borders.
Or would if we could get the work.
May 20, 2015 at 3:11 pm
Brandie Tarvin (5/20/2015)
Grant Fritchey (5/20/2015)
Jason A. Long (5/20/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (5/20/2015)
Grant Fritchey (5/20/2015)
Again...AAARRARARRGGGGHHHH!!!
Sometimes, I just wonder why any of us even try. Reams of good advice from multiple people. All of it ignored. Apply a random query hint. Things are a little better. WIN!
The reason people like you try is for people like me who went into this knowing nothing and using your answers to add to my body of knowledge so that years later, I could pretend I was good enough to be a people like you.
Just sayin'.
+1,000,000
That... What she said!
But, I'm pretending to be a people like me.
Wait... If you're pretending and I'm pretending...
Oh. My. Gosh. Where are the real people?
Who needs 'em!
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
May 20, 2015 at 3:22 pm
I'm certainly pretending
May 20, 2015 at 6:01 pm
SQLRNNR (5/20/2015)
Ed Wagner (5/20/2015)
GilaMonster (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
This would be the one that wants to fix ugly queries with a sprinkle of hint perfume when all that's needed is a good shower/rewrite.😎
It appears I haven't managed to run across that one yet. Maybe I should keep it that way.
It sounded like they were in a big hurry (and rightfully so) because the shop floor and warehouse couldn't work. "No time for reading or learning" seemed to be the message. Then they posted that bit about "I'll get to it tomorrow", which completely throws urgency right out the window.
The thing that makes me wonder is that they're been at this since Sunday night and they don't want to hire someone because their local partner doesn't have experience in performance tuning. Yet they won't ask about anyone outside the country. Gail told them her company does this work and does it across country borders, but it was ignored. :crazy:
Most of us consultants (granted most that I know) do work across borders.
Hmmm... Consultants Without Borders. Sounds like a good name for an organization.
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?
My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.
Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St
May 21, 2015 at 2:59 am
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!
May 21, 2015 at 4:55 am
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
Ed Wagner (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
Grant Fritchey (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
GilaMonster (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
Grant Fritchey (5/20/2015)
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!I could see this one coming miles away, surprised how long it took.
😎
If it's the one I'm thinking of, I hit that stage this morning, but didn't have time to post a detailed reply.
Most certainly is the one, luckily to busy with work to contribute /get frustrated and there wasn't any need to add to the excellent advice given by you guys.
😎
I've almost walked away twice because they just can't seem to listen. But I can kind of see the total panic that they're in. I'm trying to push them a little bit in a direction, but even there they can't seem to follow the directions at all. I'm sure part of it is language issues, but not all of it.
Glad you didn't!
😎
Okay...you guys are killing me. Can your please post link? It sounds intriguing.
😎
As much as I don't want to derail the thread, the first thing I thought when I read the OP and then the comment about McAfee being installed was "Hey, wait a second. I recognize that behavior!"
If it really is McAfee, though, it's not going to teach him how to read a book. He'll just assume everything is that easy. #sigh
May 21, 2015 at 5:10 am
Brandie Tarvin (5/21/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
Ed Wagner (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
Grant Fritchey (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
GilaMonster (5/20/2015)
Eirikur Eiriksson (5/20/2015)
Grant Fritchey (5/20/2015)
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!I could see this one coming miles away, surprised how long it took.
😎
If it's the one I'm thinking of, I hit that stage this morning, but didn't have time to post a detailed reply.
Most certainly is the one, luckily to busy with work to contribute /get frustrated and there wasn't any need to add to the excellent advice given by you guys.
😎
I've almost walked away twice because they just can't seem to listen. But I can kind of see the total panic that they're in. I'm trying to push them a little bit in a direction, but even there they can't seem to follow the directions at all. I'm sure part of it is language issues, but not all of it.
Glad you didn't!
😎
Okay...you guys are killing me. Can your please post link? It sounds intriguing.
😎
As much as I don't want to derail the thread, the first thing I thought when I read the OP and then the comment about McAfee being installed was "Hey, wait a second. I recognize that behavior!"
If it really is McAfee, though, it's not going to teach him how to read a book. He'll just assume everything is that easy. #sigh
Well, he'll soon learn differently. 😉
May 21, 2015 at 5:17 am
I have a question on tempdb over here if anyone would care to drop by and share their thoughts.
I'm kinda wishy-washy on this one. So some perspective would be helpful.
May 21, 2015 at 7:44 am
cunningham (5/21/2015)
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!
Yes indeed!!! Welcome to the "water cooler" commonly referred to as "the thread". 😀
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May 21, 2015 at 7:46 am
Sean Lange (5/21/2015)
cunningham (5/21/2015)
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!Yes indeed!!! Welcome to the "water cooler" commonly referred to as "the thread". 😀
Sean, shame on you!
It's capitalized. The Thread. As in the most important thread in the universe. Not "the thread."
Hippo, take him away!
😉
EDIT: And ditto on the welcome, Cunningham.
May 21, 2015 at 7:46 am
Sean Lange (5/21/2015)
cunningham (5/21/2015)
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!Yes indeed!!! Welcome to the "water cooler" commonly referred to as "the thread". 😀
Meh! The water is rarely cool, normally it's boiling 😛 :w00t:
Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon.
May 21, 2015 at 7:50 am
David Burrows (5/21/2015)
Sean Lange (5/21/2015)
cunningham (5/21/2015)
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!Yes indeed!!! Welcome to the "water cooler" commonly referred to as "the thread". 😀
Meh! The water is rarely cool, normally it's boiling 😛 :w00t:
How fitting!
May 21, 2015 at 7:53 am
David Burrows (5/21/2015)
Sean Lange (5/21/2015)
cunningham (5/21/2015)
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!Yes indeed!!! Welcome to the "water cooler" commonly referred to as "the thread". 😀
Meh! The water is rarely cool, normally it's boiling 😛 :w00t:
Rarely can you see cool water steaming. It has to boil to let the steam off.:-D
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
May 21, 2015 at 8:09 am
Brandie Tarvin (5/21/2015)
Sean Lange (5/21/2015)
cunningham (5/21/2015)
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!Yes indeed!!! Welcome to the "water cooler" commonly referred to as "the thread". 😀
Sean, shame on you!
It's capitalized. The Thread. As in the most important thread in the universe. Not "the thread."
Hippo, take him away!
😉
EDIT: And ditto on the welcome, Cunningham.
Thanks for the welcome Brandie and Sean, It has already proved most entertaining!
May 21, 2015 at 8:12 am
cunningham (5/21/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (5/21/2015)
Sean Lange (5/21/2015)
cunningham (5/21/2015)
soooo this is where you lot go to blow off steam!Yes indeed!!! Welcome to the "water cooler" commonly referred to as "the thread". 😀
Sean, shame on you!
It's capitalized. The Thread. As in the most important thread in the universe. Not "the thread."
Hippo, take him away!
😉
EDIT: And ditto on the welcome, Cunningham.
Thanks for the welcome Brandie and Sean, It has already proved most entertaining!
Just let us all know when you caught up from the start 😉
Rodders...
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