Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Sioban Krzywicki One Orange Chip Points: 27770 More actions · Answer 1

GilaMonster (1/23/2015)
Luis Cazares (1/22/2015)
Brandie Tarvin (1/22/2015)
rodjkidd (1/22/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/21/2015)
So....
What's the superhero costume of choice here? SQL Bits is a month+ away, with the theme of superheroes for the Friday night party.
Need to get ordering something to take with me.
Steve, drawing a blank on Cowboy Super Heroes, there must be one that had a penchant for wearing Hawaiian shirts when not as the Super Hero ? 🙂
Rodders...
I don't know that Jonah Hex ever wore Hawaiian shirts, but he's a cowboy comics hero. (Not sure about the "super" part either).
Does it have to be from the comics? What about 80's cartoons like Bravestarr or the Galaxy Rangers?
I haven't got any clue for a costume. Maybe cheat, buy a green hoodie and go as Arrow (but without a bow due to airline luggage restrictions)

See if Steve or Grant or someone else who'll be there can pick you up a cheap bow locally and bring it for you. Arrow would be great.

--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736270 More actions · Answer 2

Sioban Krzywicki (1/23/2015)
GilaMonster (1/23/2015)
I haven't got any clue for a costume. Maybe cheat, buy a green hoodie and go as Arrow (but without a bow due to airline luggage restrictions)
See if Steve or Grant or someone else who'll be there can pick you up a cheap bow locally and bring it for you. Arrow would be great.

We can arrange something, I'm sure. The RG staff are pretty good at helping.

I may ship a costume over so I don't have to worry about packing.

Jack Corbett SSC Guru Points: 184394 More actions · Answer 3

Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/21/2015)
So....
What's the superhero costume of choice here? SQL Bits is a month+ away, with the theme of superheroes for the Friday night party.
Need to get ordering something to take with me.

Since you are immortalized as a database superhero in the DBA-Team you could just go as yourself:-D

Jack Corbett
Consultant - Straight Path Solutions
Check out these links on how to get faster and more accurate answers:
Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help
Need an Answer? Actually, No ... You Need a Question

rodjkidd SSCoach Points: 15916 More actions · Answer 4

Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/23/2015)
Sioban Krzywicki (1/23/2015)
GilaMonster (1/23/2015)
I haven't got any clue for a costume. Maybe cheat, buy a green hoodie and go as Arrow (but without a bow due to airline luggage restrictions)
See if Steve or Grant or someone else who'll be there can pick you up a cheap bow locally and bring it for you. Arrow would be great.
We can arrange something, I'm sure. The RG staff are pretty good at helping.
I may ship a costume over so I don't have to worry about packing.

Oops catching up on two days of water cooler chat!

Sioban - Although the theme is "Super Hero" I have it on good authority that you can be as loose and free with that as you want. Whatever that really means. Although turning up as your favourite teacher might need some explaining! 😉

Gail - Nice. I sure RG can help out there. Also see you in Vienna, the weekend before. I still need to sort out my flights...

Gianluca - well introduce yourself at the registration desk. I'll probably be on it with the other helpers at some point...

Oh and nowhere near 2m tall! But probably armed with a camera!

Anyone one else coming? And is it their first SQL Bits?

Cheers,

Rodders...

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736270 More actions · Answer 5

Jack Corbett (1/23/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/21/2015)
So....
What's the superhero costume of choice here? SQL Bits is a month+ away, with the theme of superheroes for the Friday night party.
Need to get ordering something to take with me.
Since you are immortalized as a database superhero in the DBA-Team you could just go as yourself:-D

Not sure that's a superhero. I did debate as going as B.A.Baracas....

Luis Cazares SSC Guru Points: 183706 More actions · Answer 6

Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/23/2015)
Jack Corbett (1/23/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/21/2015)
So....
What's the superhero costume of choice here? SQL Bits is a month+ away, with the theme of superheroes for the Friday night party.
Need to get ordering something to take with me.
Since you are immortalized as a database superhero in the DBA-Team you could just go as yourself:-D
Not sure that's a superhero. I did debate as going as B.A.Baracas....

Does it have to be a superhero? Or could it be a supervillain? Just thinking on a killing joke.

Luis C.
General Disclaimer:
Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2

Sioban Krzywicki One Orange Chip Points: 27770 More actions · Answer 7

I think some people who comment on articles never read past the title.

--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398890 More actions · Answer 8

Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/23/2015)
Sioban Krzywicki (1/23/2015)
GilaMonster (1/23/2015)
I haven't got any clue for a costume. Maybe cheat, buy a green hoodie and go as Arrow (but without a bow due to airline luggage restrictions)
See if Steve or Grant or someone else who'll be there can pick you up a cheap bow locally and bring it for you. Arrow would be great.
We can arrange something, I'm sure. The RG staff are pretty good at helping.
I may ship a costume over so I don't have to worry about packing.

I'm thinking the same thing. This steel helmet is going to cramp my travel style. I wonder if I can just wear it through security?

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Sioban Krzywicki One Orange Chip Points: 27770 More actions · Answer 9

Grant Fritchey (1/23/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/23/2015)
Sioban Krzywicki (1/23/2015)
GilaMonster (1/23/2015)
I haven't got any clue for a costume. Maybe cheat, buy a green hoodie and go as Arrow (but without a bow due to airline luggage restrictions)
See if Steve or Grant or someone else who'll be there can pick you up a cheap bow locally and bring it for you. Arrow would be great.
We can arrange something, I'm sure. The RG staff are pretty good at helping.
I may ship a costume over so I don't have to worry about packing.
I'm thinking the same thing. This steel helmet is going to cramp my travel style. I wonder if I can just wear it through security?

As long as the edges aren't sharp and you remember to put it in a bucket before you go through the machine!

--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 10

Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

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Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

WayneS SSC Guru Points: 95460 More actions · Answer 11

Sean Lange (1/23/2015)
Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

I hope you can charge by the hour on this one.

Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes

If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!

Links:
For better assistance in answering your questions
Performance Problems
Common date/time routines
Understanding and Using APPLY Part 1 & Part 2

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004366 More actions · Answer 12

Sean Lange (1/23/2015)
Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

I guess I would ask them what the original requirements are for the code and just start over.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004366 More actions · Answer 13

Grant Fritchey (1/23/2015)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (1/23/2015)
Sioban Krzywicki (1/23/2015)
GilaMonster (1/23/2015)
I haven't got any clue for a costume. Maybe cheat, buy a green hoodie and go as Arrow (but without a bow due to airline luggage restrictions)
See if Steve or Grant or someone else who'll be there can pick you up a cheap bow locally and bring it for you. Arrow would be great.
We can arrange something, I'm sure. The RG staff are pretty good at helping.
I may ship a costume over so I don't have to worry about packing.
I'm thinking the same thing. This steel helmet is going to cramp my travel style. I wonder if I can just wear it through security?

Heh... it's much more stylish and just as effective as that tin-foil hat you've been wearing to keep the voices out of your head, so get a medical pass for it. 😛

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 14

WayneS (1/23/2015)
Sean Lange (1/23/2015)
Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.
I hope you can charge by the hour on this one.

heh I wish. This is from one of our other divisions so I doubt I will get anything extra.

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 15

Jeff Moden (1/23/2015)
Sean Lange (1/23/2015)
Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.
I guess I would ask them what the original requirements are for the code and just start over.

Jeff please pack up your pork chop launcher and head to Kansas City. I am going to need backup on this one. Every single one of those while loops does nothing but increment a counter. All they need to be is a simple count(*) + 1 instead of looping.

And did I mention this procedure repeatedly hits a ~~table~~ heap with 27 million rows with the exact same query. :w00t::w00t::w00t:

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/