Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Greg Edwards-268690 SSC-Insane Points: 20680 More actions · Answer 1

jcrawf02 (9/3/2014)
dwain.c (9/2/2014)
GilaMonster (9/2/2014)
"The inserted table only contains the rows inserted into the table. I need rows from other tables as well. Hence I can't use a set-based solution"
Err.. ok...
Bwahaha! Second funniest thing I've heard this morning.
Here's the first: http://www.red-gate.com/products/dba/sql-monitor/entrypage/worst-dba-days-4/?utm_source=emailmarketing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=sqldbabundle&utm_content=day-4&utm_term=E304&_hsenc=p2ANqtz--RZ6K_2-01B2TN2vRLpbTV45ULOnFZ0RTzwnEeEgK0BCeJ4RIQHnMjomI8n5q6RfNI2FjphkScx_laQht1vhqYMbUOHQ&_hsmi=13982098
My (cowboy) hat's off to Steve and Grant for this hilarious and oddly illuminating parody.
Favorite line:
"Oh, shut the functional dependency up, Chris. Don't you ever give up?"
My wife keeps telling me I need to stop swearing around the two year old. I'm going to replace swearing with database jargon randomness now...
Flaming Firehose Cursors!
Backwards Compatibility!
Great Moden's Socks!

Anyone else remember the Dilbert Jargonator?

That would be fun to run some of the posts through. 😀

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 2

TomThomson (9/2/2014)
Sean Lange (9/2/2014)
Lynn Pettis (9/2/2014)
AARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! Someone fire the man. He has no business in this business.
In my experience nearly 95% of the people in this business actually have the brains to be in this business. Then there are about 4% of those with enough brains that don't have a "give a damn" to learn anything new. That leaves about 1% that have enough drive and brains to actually improve over time.
I'm confused. You mean 96% or 95% is just 1%???? Not when I was in primary school it wasn't, and that's not the sort of thing that changes over he years (not even over that many years). Maybe there's a bigger language barrier between my English and your English that I thought there was?
Regardless of that, though, I think we both agree with Lynn on the unemployability of the man who couldn't imagine a set-based solution.

Luis got it right. The barrier is not between your English and mine. The barrier is clearly between me and the keyboard. :hehe:

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

Gazareth One Orange Chip Points: 27737 More actions · Answer 3

I've just been told: "We don't recommend running SQL commands against the database"

Right. May as well go home then!

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259105 More actions · Answer 4

Gazareth (9/3/2014)
I've just been told: "We don't recommend running SQL commands against the database"
Right. May as well go home then!

I guess they meant ad-hoc queries?

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

xsevensinzx One Orange Chip Points: 25560 More actions · Answer 5

I keep coming to this thread just to read all your fueled responses. It's baiting me to post a seriously dumb question just to read the reactions in this thread. 😛

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 6

Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
Gazareth (9/3/2014)
I've just been told: "We don't recommend running SQL commands against the database"
Right. May as well go home then!
I guess they meant ad-hoc queries?

Nah. Just tell them you are not running commands. You are just executing scripts. :Whistling:

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259105 More actions · Answer 7

xsevensinzx (9/3/2014)
I keep coming to this thread just to read all your fueled responses. It's baiting me to post a seriously dumb question just to read the reactions in this thread. 😛

Like how to drop a database?

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

Gazareth One Orange Chip Points: 27737 More actions · Answer 8

Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
Gazareth (9/3/2014)
I've just been told: "We don't recommend running SQL commands against the database"
Right. May as well go home then!
I guess they meant ad-hoc queries?

Presumably, although there are no procs in the database, nor is it referenced from other dbs on the instance. So, err...

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 9

Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
xsevensinzx (9/3/2014)
I keep coming to this thread just to read all your fueled responses. It's baiting me to post a seriously dumb question just to read the reactions in this thread. 😛
Like how to drop a database?

"Drop doesn't do everything that I want"

I agree completely. It doesn't make coffee or hoover the floors.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Gazareth One Orange Chip Points: 27737 More actions · Answer 10

SQLRNNR (9/3/2014)
Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
Gazareth (9/3/2014)
I've just been told: "We don't recommend running SQL commands against the database"
Right. May as well go home then!
I guess they meant ad-hoc queries?
Nah. Just tell them you are not running commands. You are just executing scripts. :Whistling:

"It's ok, I'm using Powershell" 😀

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 11

Gazareth (9/3/2014)
SQLRNNR (9/3/2014)
Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
Gazareth (9/3/2014)
I've just been told: "We don't recommend running SQL commands against the database"
Right. May as well go home then!
I guess they meant ad-hoc queries?
Nah. Just tell them you are not running commands. You are just executing scripts. :Whistling:
"It's ok, I'm using Powershell" 😀

:hehe:

Sweet - another reason to learn powershell.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Gazareth One Orange Chip Points: 27737 More actions · Answer 12

Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
xsevensinzx (9/3/2014)
I keep coming to this thread just to read all your fueled responses. It's baiting me to post a seriously dumb question just to read the reactions in this thread. 😛
Like how to drop a database?

Crikey.

And what is up with that awful banner?!

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 13

Gazareth (9/3/2014)
Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
xsevensinzx (9/3/2014)
I keep coming to this thread just to read all your fueled responses. It's baiting me to post a seriously dumb question just to read the reactions in this thread. 😛
Like how to drop a database?
Crikey.
And what is up with that awful banner?!

That banner is almost as bad as the advice being offered. I particularly like the way the guys smug look will follow your cursor around his banner.

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

TomThomson SSC Guru Points: 104773 More actions · Answer 14

Luis Cazares (9/2/2014)
TomThomson (9/2/2014)
Sean Lange (9/2/2014)
Lynn Pettis (9/2/2014)
AARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! Someone fire the man. He has no business in this business.
In my experience nearly 95% of the people in this business actually don't have the brains to be in this business. Then there are about 4% of those with enough brains that don't have a "give a damn" to learn anything new. That leaves about 1% that have enough drive and brains to actually improve over time.
I'm confused. You mean 96% or 95% is just 1%???? Not when I was in primary school it wasn't, and that's not the sort of thing that changes over he years (not even over that many years). Maybe there's a bigger language barrier between my English and your English that I thought there was?
Regardless of that, though, I think we both agree with Lynn on the unemployability of the man who couldn't imagine a set-based solution.
I guess there's a word missing. That will give 95 + 4 + 1 = 100

I guess you're right. I must have neen too tired to realise there was a missing "not".

Tom

xsevensinzx One Orange Chip Points: 25560 More actions · Answer 15

Koen Verbeeck (9/3/2014)
xsevensinzx (9/3/2014)
I keep coming to this thread just to read all your fueled responses. It's baiting me to post a seriously dumb question just to read the reactions in this thread. 😛
Like how to drop a database?

I'm going to apply this useful knowledge right now. I have a feeling I may be back with an update.