March 27, 2014 at 5:54 am
Gail, you had 3 submitted (I think) as the order is random, I voted for the Bad Plan, Sit! one, nice title. So yes the bribe worked! Er - did I say that, obviously I'm joking, there was no bribe, you didn't see me right? 😉
If anyone fancies really bad pirate jokes then Steph Lockes R intro is worth it. She did it at Exeter and if you don't know R it's a good intro, and you get to talk like a Pirate. So win win
Rodders...
March 27, 2014 at 8:06 am
W00t w00t, this one makes my 12000th point. 😎
Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP
March 27, 2014 at 8:08 am
Koen Verbeeck (3/27/2014)
W00t w00t, this one makes my 12000th point. 😎
Congrats!
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Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/
March 27, 2014 at 8:26 am
Sean Lange (3/27/2014)
Koen Verbeeck (3/27/2014)
W00t w00t, this one makes my 12000th point. 😎Congrats!
Thanks. I do my best to keep ahead of you 😉
Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP
March 27, 2014 at 9:09 am
Koen Verbeeck (3/27/2014)
W00t w00t, this one makes my 12000th point. 😎
congrats
March 27, 2014 at 9:12 am
Koen Verbeeck (3/27/2014)
W00t w00t, this one makes my 12000th point. 😎
Well done, Koen.
March 27, 2014 at 9:14 am
Koen Verbeeck (3/27/2014)
W00t w00t, this one makes my 12000th point. 😎
Congrats!
March 27, 2014 at 9:25 am
Koen Verbeeck (3/27/2014)
W00t w00t, this one makes my 12000th point. 😎
Congratulations Koen!
March 27, 2014 at 9:54 am
Welcome to another fun story sponsored by our "DBAs?".
Last night, about 1:30am someone decided it was a good time to disable xp_cmdshell. I'm sure that person read somewhere that disabling it was important to maintain the security of the database. The problem is that lots of our nightly processes use it to create or import text files. And the funny part is that we could easily enable it again as soon as we got to the office and we're not part of the DBA team. :w00t:
This shows that security is as important to them as data consistency provided by enforcing NOLOCK hints on every query.
March 27, 2014 at 10:55 am
March 27, 2014 at 11:14 am
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (3/27/2014)
For your Thur entertainment: http://www.red-gate.com/products/dba/dba-bundle/entrypage/about-the-dba-team?utm_source=ssc&utm_medium=displayad&utm_campaign=sqldbabundle&utm_term=steve_video
Ride'm Cowboy! :w00t:
March 27, 2014 at 11:25 am
Greg Edwards-268690 (3/27/2014)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (3/27/2014)
For your Thur entertainment: http://www.red-gate.com/products/dba/dba-bundle/entrypage/about-the-dba-team?utm_source=ssc&utm_medium=displayad&utm_campaign=sqldbabundle&utm_term=steve_videoRide'm Cowboy! :w00t:
Yeehaw
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
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I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
March 27, 2014 at 2:52 pm
Grant Fritchey (3/25/2014)
The Dixie Flatline (3/25/2014)
My poster child interview disappointment: Good resume' on paper, but then the man walked in, opened up his laptop, and scrolled through a "cheat sheet" document each time he was asked a question. He rarely made eye contact as he paged up and down searching for answers. When his answers were so off base that we rephrased questions, he would argue that he had already answered them. Go figure.Cool. Open book interview questions. You don't mind if I just turn my MIFI on do you? I'll be connecting to SQL Server Central during the interview process. You guys just keep an eye out for any questions marked "URGENT." That'll be me.
<sigh>
I have two favorites, on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Many moons ago, close to twenty years now, I interviewed a guy for an Access developer's position (yes, they used to pay for that). This guy answered every single question like he had written the product. It was amazing. I'd never met anyone who knew so much. We brought three different people in to ask questions and he aced them all. So we hired him. His first day on the job, he didn't get anything done... and I mean anything. Second day, we started watching him. He'd never sat in front of a computer before. He didn't know how to work the mouse. He was confused by the keyboard. He had clearly never even touched a computer before. But, we turned him away from the computer and asked him how to do stuff, and he knew it all. Weirdest darned thing I'd ever seen.
My second favorite is short & sweet. We were interviewing someone for a senior level SQL Server position. After a couple of questions (which he didn't do well on) he stated, "Why are you asking me all these questions that are product specific. You should only ever be using ANSI standard commands & syntax and never, ever use any of the product specific controls or functions. Otherwise how can you nimbly shift between different platforms." And then he got vehement about it. It was fun.
We have a written test we use to weed out people who don't know the first thing about SQL (report writing position, not DBA stuff), it's pretty basic, but I started it after listening to you guys tell horror stories. My favorite so far is the guy who left (!) without telling me (I usually give them 20 minutes or so by themselves), and left me this nice note (and his business card!)
"John, [and no, that's not how I spell my name]
From the gist of your questions, you are looking for someone far more "bitsy-bytsy" than am I. If this is the scope of the position, it is not for me. If I can help in some other way, call."
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How best to post your question[/url]
How to post performance problems[/url]
Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]
"stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."
March 27, 2014 at 3:52 pm
jcrawf02 (3/27/2014)
We have a written test we use to weed out people who don't know the first thing about SQL (report writing position, not DBA stuff), it's pretty basic, but I started it after listening to you guys tell horror stories. My favorite so far is the guy who left (!) without telling me (I usually give them 20 minutes or so by themselves), and left me this nice note (and his business card!)
"John, [and no, that's not how I spell my name]
From the gist of your questions, you are looking for someone far more "bitsy-bytsy" than am I. If this is the scope of the position, it is not for me. If I can help in some other way, call."
Ha! What the heck is "bitsy-bitsy"?
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
March 27, 2014 at 5:51 pm
Grant Fritchey (3/27/2014)
jcrawf02 (3/27/2014)
We have a written test we use to weed out people who don't know the first thing about SQL (report writing position, not DBA stuff), it's pretty basic, but I started it after listening to you guys tell horror stories. My favorite so far is the guy who left (!) without telling me (I usually give them 20 minutes or so by themselves), and left me this nice note (and his business card!)
"John, [and no, that's not how I spell my name]
From the gist of your questions, you are looking for someone far more "bitsy-bytsy" than am I. If this is the scope of the position, it is not for me. If I can help in some other way, call."
Ha! What the heck is "bitsy-bitsy"?
Heh... apparently, a term for some slacker with no clue how to do the job for someone else that actually knows what they're doing. 😉
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
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