Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004406 More actions · Answer 1

L' Eomot Inversé (7/7/2013)
jasona.work (7/5/2013)
Koen Verbeeck (7/5/2013)
jasona.work (7/5/2013)
You *KNOW* it's going to be a slow day when you get in at your normal time, and get front-row parking...
I could've driven a golf ball across the parking lot without worrying about hitting a car...
Going to be a lllooonnnggg day I think...
Today I was sitting in the lunch room with just 1 other colleague.
But I like working during the summer holiday: less traffic and less people nagging on my head 😀
Anyway, been absent of the thread for quite some time due to some deadlines. Did I miss anything?
I think a few dozen pages ago, Gail announced she was going to switch to using NoSQL and MySQL and Steve announced he was going to switch the back-end of the site over to Oracle...
But other than that, no, nothing really...
:hehe:
You missed the really important one: Jeff suggested a new fast way of solving some accumulation problems using nested non-static cursors over triangular joins. :hehe:

You forgot the important part where it used recursive CLR self-relaizing triggers that called PowerShell to run it on a surrogate server to control the process using multiple separate cascading threads to return vectored MARS to be saved in files to be imported by SSIS and displayed using SSRS. 😛

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Fal Hall of Fame Points: 3143 More actions · Answer 2

wolfkillj (7/8/2013)
If you haven't seen this already, you're due for some Monday-morning laughs!

Good Lord, someone made The Thread recursive!

Is there a punishment for that?

Andy Leonard SSChampion Points: 10144 More actions · Answer 3

Jeff Moden (7/8/2013)
You forgot the important part where it used recursive CLR self-relaizing triggers that called PowerShell to run it on a surrogate server to control the process using multiple separate cascading threads to return vectored MARS to be saved in files to be imported by SSIS and displayed using SSRS. 😛

SSIS made the list. YES!

:{>

Andy Leonard, Chief Data Engineer, Enterprise Data & Analytics

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 4

wolfkillj (7/8/2013)
If you haven't seen this already, you're due for some Monday-morning laughs!

Something broke with that link...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/jokes-only-nerds-will-understand

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Dwain Camps SSC Guru Points: 86978 More actions · Answer 5

Jeff Moden (7/8/2013)
L' Eomot Inversé (7/7/2013)
jasona.work (7/5/2013)
Koen Verbeeck (7/5/2013)
jasona.work (7/5/2013)
You *KNOW* it's going to be a slow day when you get in at your normal time, and get front-row parking...
I could've driven a golf ball across the parking lot without worrying about hitting a car...
Going to be a lllooonnnggg day I think...
Today I was sitting in the lunch room with just 1 other colleague.
But I like working during the summer holiday: less traffic and less people nagging on my head 😀
Anyway, been absent of the thread for quite some time due to some deadlines. Did I miss anything?
I think a few dozen pages ago, Gail announced she was going to switch to using NoSQL and MySQL and Steve announced he was going to switch the back-end of the site over to Oracle...
But other than that, no, nothing really...
:hehe:
You missed the really important one: Jeff suggested a new fast way of solving some accumulation problems using nested non-static cursors over triangular joins. :hehe:
You forgot the important part where it used recursive CLR self-relaizing triggers that called PowerShell to run it on a surrogate server to control the process using multiple separate cascading threads to return vectored MARS to be saved in files to be imported by SSIS and displayed using SSRS. 😛

And you missed the post where CELKO was actually nice to someone!

My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

Dwain Camps SSC Guru Points: 86978 More actions · Answer 6

Steve Jones - SSC Editor (7/8/2013)
Notifications working for people? Seem like the queue might be stuck.

Queue is definitely still stuck, although I did just receive one notification on this thread and that's what brought me here.

My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

Dwain Camps SSC Guru Points: 86978 More actions · Answer 7

dwain.c (7/8/2013)
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (7/8/2013)
Notifications working for people? Seem like the queue might be stuck.
Queue is definitely still stuck, although I did just receive one notification on this thread and that's what brought me here.

I think the notifications have all come through now.

My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736478 More actions · Answer 8

Looks like notifications are working. Not sure if something broke loose or got fixed.

Revenant SSC-Forever Points: 42467 More actions · Answer 9

Steve Jones - SSC Editor (7/8/2013)
Looks like notifications are working. Not sure if something broke loose or got fixed.

There are probably two bugs that coincidentally compensate each other. 😉

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259115 More actions · Answer 10

Brandie Tarvin (7/8/2013)
Koen Verbeeck (7/6/2013)
It was closed the week we were there for maintenance...
Wait. You were there for maintenance and it was closed ... so you couldn't do your maintenance?
(Grammar humor strikes again! @=)

Yeah sure, laugh with the non-native English speaker 😛

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

TomThomson SSC Guru Points: 104773 More actions · Answer 11

Koen Verbeeck (7/9/2013)
Brandie Tarvin (7/8/2013)
Koen Verbeeck (7/6/2013)
It was closed the week we were there for maintenance...
Wait. You were there for maintenance and it was closed ... so you couldn't do your maintenance?
(Grammar humor strikes again! @=)
Yeah sure, laugh with the non-native English speaker 😛

You shouldn't tease and tweak us like that, Koen.

Given that Flemish is a Germanic language with supposedly a lot of grammar and syntax in common with English and German, and German is further from English than Flemish is, it seems interesting that only tiny changes in the English wording (apart from vocab change, of course) to get "Es war der Woche geschlossen, in denen wir dort für Wartungsarbeiten waren" in German. My German is very rusty, so I guess that may not be quite right; the tiny changes consist in moving "geschlossen" to the end of its clause, "waren" to the end of its subordinate clause and restoring the elided "for which" (in denen) that is normally omitted in informal English. I think that in informal German waren would come immediately after "dort", but my schooling was of course in formal German and my acquaintance with informal German was too long ago, so I'm playing safe. Now I can't see how the German would be interpreted any way other that the way Brandie interpreted your English, so I strongly suspect that if it were written that way in Flemish the same interpretation would be natural too. So I suspect you are pulling our leg with your non-native speaker comment. Now if I spoke Dutch that suspicion might be confirmed, or denied - but I don't even know enough Dutch to understand how smileys work in the written form of that language.

Anyway, educated Flemish and Dutch people have a great advantage over most Americans and English when interpreting written English: their knowledge of the language's vocabulary, syntax, and grammar is usually far better that that of the typical English or American university graduate, because they learn it in school; the teaching of English grammar and syntax in most schools in Britain and the USA was abandoned as being far too difficult for the poor little kiddies decades ago.

Tom

Mark Cowne One Orange Chip Points: 26954 More actions · Answer 12

Strange, but there seems to be a number of old threads being answered

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic950491-145-1.aspx

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic334022-149-1.aspx

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic512190-338-1.aspx

____________________________________________________

Deja View - The strange feeling that somewhere, sometime you've optimised this query before

How to get the best help on a forum

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537

Jason Wolfkill SSCrazy Eights Points: 9832 More actions · Answer 13

GilaMonster (7/8/2013)
wolfkillj (7/8/2013)
If you haven't seen this already, you're due for some Monday-morning laughs!
Something broke with that link...
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/jokes-only-nerds-will-understand

Yep, I fixed it. Seems that if one encloses the URL in double quotes in the opening tag (e.g., url="someurl.com"), clicking the link just opens the current page.

At first, I thought Gail must be psychic to know which page I was trying to link, but I'm only slightly less impressed that she thought it worth viewing the source code of the page to figure it out!

Jason Wolfkill

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 14

wolfkillj (7/9/2013)
At first, I thought Gail must be psychic to know which page I was trying to link, but I'm only slightly less impressed that she thought it worth viewing the source code of the page to figure it out!

I hit 'quote' on your post.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173080 More actions · Answer 15

GilaMonster (7/9/2013)
wolfkillj (7/9/2013)
At first, I thought Gail must be psychic to know which page I was trying to link, but I'm only slightly less impressed that she thought it worth viewing the source code of the page to figure it out!
I hit 'quote' on your post.

HUSH, Gail. That trick is supposed to be a secret of the SQL Conspiracy! @=)

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.