Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • Unquestionably.

    __________________________________________________

    Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
    Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills

  • The Dixie Flatline (6/13/2013)


    I will explain...

    No, to explain will take too long. I will sum up.

    The Doctor is on first.

    The enemy's gate is down.

    You'll have to sum up with the Inigo Montoya t-shirt

  • Thanks for that link, Chad! My wife has wanted one of those shirts forever.

    Edit: +13 for getting that reference.

    __________________________________________________

    Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
    Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills

  • Chad Crawford (6/13/2013)


    The Dixie Flatline (6/13/2013)


    I will explain...

    No, to explain will take too long. I will sum up.

    The Doctor is on first.

    The enemy's gate is down.

    You'll have to sum up with the Inigo Montoya t-shirt

    I still need to watch that movie start to end some day. Bought it just for that purpose.

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • The Dixie Flatline (6/13/2013)


    SQLRNNR (6/13/2013)


    The Dixie Flatline (6/13/2013)


    I will explain...

    No, to explain will take too long. I will sum up.

    The Nurse is on second.

    The enemy's gait is down.

    Huh?

    When did The Doctor get a sex change?

    If your own gait is down, step it up, Jason. :hehe:

    Three years from now ago. You can download the episodes with DBCC Timewarp

    --------------------------------------
    When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
    --------------------------------------
    It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
    What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
    You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

  • Stefan Krzywicki (6/13/2013)


    There are two kinds of hyphens. The en hyphen which is the key on the keyboard and the em hyphen, which is longer and not on the keyboard. Why, oh why do word processors and email systems change en hyphens to em hyphens? If I cut and paste a hyphen into an insert into a table and then search that table with the keyboard, there's no match because they're two different characters!

    I didn't realize they actually had two different names!


    My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]

    My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

    My advice:
    INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
    The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

    Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
    Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
    Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
    [url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

  • Sean Lange (6/13/2013)


    WayneS (6/13/2013)


    dwain.c (6/12/2013)


    I can only imagine what it must be like to have SQL Server running in some non-English language. MS probably translated the obtuse into the indecipherable.

    Maybe the error messages are perfect in other languages, and it's only when in English that they become so obtuse.

    That makes a lot of sense. It does seem like some of the error messages where written in Swahili first and then translated to English by a non-native speaker. 🙂

    More likely the base language is Klingon.


    My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]

    My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

    My advice:
    INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
    The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

    Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
    Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
    Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
    [url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

  • Lynn Pettis (6/13/2013)


    SQLRNNR (6/13/2013)


    Brandie Tarvin (6/13/2013)


    jasona.work (6/13/2013)


    Why can I picture something like that actually being buried in the depths of the SQL / SSIS code?

    One of those little "bored programmer" things that's hidden in a comment somewhere...

    I had to build a data scrub the other day for a database we're bringing down from production to our Dev/Test environments. I peppered it with science fiction references because I couldn't be bothered to be more creative. By the time I was finished writing it, I was cackling with mad glee and wondering if any of our testers would get the jokes.

    I've been doing similar things in my code of late. Occasionally a question comes back "Are you serious with that code?"

    To which I laugh and say yes. 😀

    An error message I put into code at a previous employer: Houston, we have a problem.

    If they ever see that error in production, they HAVE a problem.

    That's no worse than the most annoying comment I've ever seen in code:

    --Process data


    My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh![/I]

    My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

    My advice:
    INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
    The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.

    Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
    Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
    Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
    [url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St

  • dwain.c (6/13/2013)


    Lynn Pettis (6/13/2013)


    SQLRNNR (6/13/2013)


    Brandie Tarvin (6/13/2013)


    jasona.work (6/13/2013)


    Why can I picture something like that actually being buried in the depths of the SQL / SSIS code?

    One of those little "bored programmer" things that's hidden in a comment somewhere...

    I had to build a data scrub the other day for a database we're bringing down from production to our Dev/Test environments. I peppered it with science fiction references because I couldn't be bothered to be more creative. By the time I was finished writing it, I was cackling with mad glee and wondering if any of our testers would get the jokes.

    I've been doing similar things in my code of late. Occasionally a question comes back "Are you serious with that code?"

    To which I laugh and say yes. 😀

    An error message I put into code at a previous employer: Houston, we have a problem.

    If they ever see that error in production, they HAVE a problem.

    That's no worse than the most annoying comment I've ever seen in code:

    --Process data

    If I did it right, there should be no way for them to get to that error message. That's why I say if they do see it in production, they HAVE a problem.

  • SQLRNNR (6/13/2013)


    Ok Grant and Gail (others too if you know the answer)...

    You guys have a "widget" on your blog that allows the display of certain icons or badges (e.g. MVP and MCM).

    What is the tool? I would like to add something like that to my blog.

    That one? Just a link. Nothing more.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • dwain.c (6/13/2013)


    Sean Lange (6/13/2013)


    WayneS (6/13/2013)


    dwain.c (6/12/2013)


    I can only imagine what it must be like to have SQL Server running in some non-English language. MS probably translated the obtuse into the indecipherable.

    Maybe the error messages are perfect in other languages, and it's only when in English that they become so obtuse.

    That makes a lot of sense. It does seem like some of the error messages where written in Swahili first and then translated to English by a non-native speaker. 🙂

    More likely the base language is Klingon.

    BTW, Sean, it is called kiSwahili. You'd come across as quite rude if you call it Swahili. Just had to mention it in case you ever make it to Kenya or Tanzania.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A little knowledge is a dangerous thing (Alexander Pope)
    In order for us to help you as efficiently as possible, please read this before posting (courtesy of Jeff Moden)[/url]

  • Sean Lange (6/13/2013)


    The Dixie Flatline (6/13/2013)


    Sean Lange (6/13/2013)


    Steve Jones - SSC Editor (6/13/2013)


    The Dixie Flatline (6/13/2013)


    Brandie Tarvin (6/13/2013)


    The Dixie Flatline (6/13/2013)


    Don't talk to me about time. Time is my business.

    Dixie, I could kiss you for this. @=)

    By the way, does anybody else get this cartoon? Or do you have to be just the right age and just the right shade of geeky?

    http://xkcd.com/1222/

    Actually, I do get it. The final panel is him doing exactly the opposite of what he was saying, keeping silent, because he never does talk about those things, and obsessing.

    ACK!

    I posted the wrong cartoon.

    Take a stab at this one, Brandie.

    http://xkcd.com/1221/[/url]

    Dr Who?

    I don't know...oh wait, he is on third.

    Sean got it !! 😀

    I had not seen that one before but it is pretty darned funny!!! Thanks for sharing.

    Just catching up with the last couple of days of the Thread. But this did make me laugh this morning. Although a Brit and not a follower of baseball I do know the Abbot & Costello sketch very well. Tuesday I was at a local SQL user group and someone said "Who's First", I replied "no What is on first, Who was on second!". Hope I remembered that right. Only a couple of people got the reference. Hence this made me almost laugh out loud in the office!

    Rodders...

  • L' Eomot Inversé (6/13/2013)


    Brandie Tarvin (6/13/2013)


    +1000 to anyone who gets this reference.

    The Curator's bills are sent to Amelia Williams.

    Does the Curator have a magic cat?

    Weeeellll, it's more like the cat has him...

    It's nice to see I'm not the only one who read that book.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • Brandie Tarvin (6/14/2013)


    L' Eomot Inversé (6/13/2013)


    Brandie Tarvin (6/13/2013)


    +1000 to anyone who gets this reference.

    The Curator's bills are sent to Amelia Williams.

    Does the Curator have a magic cat?

    Weeeellll, it's more like the cat has him...

    It's nice to see I'm not the only one who read that book.

    As any cat owner can tell you, all cats are magic...

    They teleport at will ("Hon, where's the cat?" "I think in the bedroom curled up on the covers." "No, I looked in there, the cat wasn't... Where the heck did the cat come from?") and I'm sure they have many other magical abilities such as...

    NO!

    I'll stop revealing your secrets my master!

  • Please 1gnore my pr3vious p0st

    im not Sur3 wh4t came over mee

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