January 9, 2013 at 1:47 pm
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
SQLRNNR (1/9/2013)
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
Brandie Tarvin (1/9/2013)
Wow. Brain bleach. NOW PLEASE.Oh, c'mon. I'm not THAT ugly...
*sighs*
Snake LOVER:alien:
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
January 9, 2013 at 2:27 pm
SQLRNNR (1/9/2013)
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
SQLRNNR (1/9/2013)
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
Brandie Tarvin (1/9/2013)
Wow. Brain bleach. NOW PLEASE.Oh, c'mon. I'm not THAT ugly...
*sighs*
Snake LOVER:alien:
Well, that's obvious...
The only possible result of being bit
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
January 9, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Delivery to the wrong address and Pizza...
Last week we ordered Pizza delivered from the local pizza shop.
The time before, they seemd to have a problem finding our house, so my wife double checked that they knew where we lived. Oh yes - how could we forget!
The neighbors were on their way out the door to go order their own pizza when ours arrived.
They did think about just paying for our pizza, but were kind, and sent them across the street.
So even a good address, when we are the only house on the block, doesn't mean they can get the right side of the street.
January 9, 2013 at 4:38 pm
A few months ago we ordered a pizza and it took forever to arrive, so we called the place to ask what the delay was. We were told the driver had gone to the wrong address and that he'd be here shortly. We live in a townhouse complex and I thought that might have been the problem, but the driver had gone to the next town over. When the pizza driver arrived, the kid was mortified. He lives next door.
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When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams
January 9, 2013 at 4:40 pm
Stefan Krzywicki (1/9/2013)
A few months ago we ordered a pizza and it took forever to arrive, so we called the place to ask what the delay was. We were told the driver had gone to the wrong address and that he'd be here shortly. We live in a townhouse complex and I thought that might have been the problem, but the driver had gone to the next town over. When the pizza driver arrived, the kid was mortified. He lives next door.
That one is funny.
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
January 9, 2013 at 5:45 pm
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
Jeff Moden (1/9/2013)
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
No, you're not the only one. But there is little that man has done to merit any respect on this or any other forum. Heh... his problem would be easier if he hadn't elected to use the very 1950's Cobol punched card tape sequence numbering system that he bashes everyone else for using. 😉
Remember what we talked about once? Careful where you knock your ring. 😉
Dwain... maybe.
However, it's Celko. I'd rather kiss cobras then help him out with anything. Like, full french kiss, with tongue, and nibbles.
Colorful metaphor indeed. 😛 I sort of expected he may not be getting many responses because of his on line persona. So I posted this here to try to generate a bit of controversy.
Jeff Moden (1/9/2013)
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
No, you're not the only one. But there is little that man has done to merit any respect on this or any other forum. Heh... his problem would be easier if he hadn't elected to use the very 1950's Cobol punched card tape sequence numbering system that he bashes everyone else for using. 😉
Remember what we talked about once? Careful where you knock your ring. 😉
Nice one Jeff. To be sure, I don't really agree with the way CELKO bashes people. How many long time, experienced and heavily qualified posters to this forum have had the CELKO-bashing? Disagreements perhaps, but probably not outright denigration sent in their direction. While I don't consider myself in that category (LTEHQ poster), I have at least been spared CELKO's wrath so far, even when inviting it.
Whatever you think of his on line persona or his merits on the forum, you can't argue that he's not been pretty successful in his niche. There are sevaral different management styles, e.g., nurturing and bashing people to make a point. Different approaches work differently with different people.
I don't really think I'm hitching my wagon to his by attempting a solution to this problem, nor by challenging others to give it a try. Maybe you remember another conversation we had about pushing SQL where SQL hasn't gone before? This touches on that area.
Besides, like I said, this one is fun!
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?
My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.
Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St
January 9, 2013 at 5:53 pm
Successful in a niche does not necessarily mean good, correct or worthwhile. Bernie Madoff was successful in his niche, but I don't think that implies anything I'd want to be associated with.
--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams
January 9, 2013 at 5:59 pm
Stefan Krzywicki (1/9/2013)
Successful in a niche does not necessarily mean good, correct or worthwhile. Bernie Madoff was successful in his niche, but I don't think that implies anything I'd want to be associated with.
Stefan - Comparing Joe to Bernie Madoff is a bit harsh in my opinion.
Joe is perhaps a rogue, but you can hardly call his posts criminal.
And since Bernie is (I believe) in prison now instead of slurping Margaritas on a tropical beach, I don't think he was that successful either.
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?
My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.
Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St
January 9, 2013 at 6:13 pm
dwain.c (1/9/2013)
Stefan Krzywicki (1/9/2013)
Successful in a niche does not necessarily mean good, correct or worthwhile. Bernie Madoff was successful in his niche, but I don't think that implies anything I'd want to be associated with.Stefan - Comparing Joe to Bernie Madoff is a bit harsh in my opinion.
Joe is perhaps a rogue, but you can hardly call his posts criminal.
And since Bernie is (I believe) in prison now instead of slurping Margaritas on a tropical beach, I don't think he was that successful either.
I'm only using him as an example of someone who was successful for a very long time who's success didn't mean anything positive. I do not intend any comparison of degree. I use Madoff even though he ended up going to jail because we know his name. There are plenty of people who haven't been caught that I can't use as an example because they haven't been caught. There are others who are scam artists that I could name, but I don't want to offend anyone if they happen to believe what's being sold. I don't want to start fights.
--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams
January 9, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Stefan Krzywicki (1/9/2013)
...I don't want to start fights.
Too Late!:rolleyes:
😉
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
January 9, 2013 at 6:20 pm
SQLRNNR (1/9/2013)
Stefan Krzywicki (1/9/2013)
...I don't want to start fights.Too Late!:rolleyes:
😉
Wait, HITLER! There, Godwin ends an argument, right?
--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams
January 9, 2013 at 6:25 pm
Stefan Krzywicki (1/9/2013)
I don't want to start fights.
And neither do I. I do like a bit of controversy in my otherwise dull life though. 😀
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?
My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.
Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St
January 9, 2013 at 6:44 pm
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
I'm not because it is Mr. Celko asking for help. I have no desire to have one of his books, signed or not. Now, if he promised to leave SQLServerCentral.com FOREVER (or risk having to pay everyone currently registered with ssc $10,000 USD for breaking is professional word), then I would seriously consider trying to help.
January 9, 2013 at 7:19 pm
Lynn Pettis (1/9/2013)
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
I'm not because it is Mr. Celko asking for help. I have no desire to have one of his books, signed or not. Now, if he promised to leave SQLServerCentral.com FOREVER (or risk having to pay everyone currently registered with ssc $10,000 USD for breaking is professional word), then I would seriously consider trying to help.
Tough audience. Too bad too because you're one of the folks I was referring to (LTEHQ poster) that I thought could make a good contribution.
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?
My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.
Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St
January 9, 2013 at 7:32 pm
dwain.c (1/9/2013)
Lynn Pettis (1/9/2013)
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
I'm not because it is Mr. Celko asking for help. I have no desire to have one of his books, signed or not. Now, if he promised to leave SQLServerCentral.com FOREVER (or risk having to pay everyone currently registered with ssc $10,000 USD for breaking is professional word), then I would seriously consider trying to help.
Tough audience. Too bad too because you're one of the folks I was referring to (LTEHQ poster) that I thought could make a good contribution.
Might be interesting to try, but I just don't have it in me to help him. Hard to fathom considering some of the people I have worked with here over the years, but I just can't see helping someone who thinks he is so much better than the rest of us.
By the way, my brain isn't functioning, what does LTEHQ mean?
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