January 8, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Evil Kraig F (1/8/2013)
Star Wars: A universe where space is an atmosphere and your cells are psychic.Star Trek: A universe where fuses are considered overkill and bathrooms are optional.
Babylon 5: Where every sentient race is relatively compatible because of overlord genetic tampering.
Lexx: Oh lord why even start.
Firefly: Because 70 or 80 habitable (heatwise) planets/moons in a solar system won't affect each other... no, really. Especially the 'band', because planets don't move, either.
... Okay, I was going to keep going but I was going to start reaching into some seriously off the beaten path series. I believe, in the end, we must simply repeat the MST3K mantra. A shame, though.
(For the record, I love all of the above shows/series)
What about Quark? (The show, not the character.)
It isn't that they don't have bathrooms in Star Trek, they just aren't needed for more than showering & appearance. Instead of toilets, they just beam all waste out of your body and put it in the general store of matter that's used for the replicators.
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When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams
January 8, 2013 at 8:49 pm
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?
My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.
Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?[/url]
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some![/url]
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.[/url]
[url url=http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/St
January 8, 2013 at 9:05 pm
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
Maybe when I have a moment. I have worked with a graph database where we found it completely useless to do the graph via t-sql. .Net can do it sooooooooo much faster.
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
January 9, 2013 at 8:03 am
Have you seen THIS? as mentioned in the weekend Wall St. Journal
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fringefocus/the-acme-corporation/
Happy 2013 to everyone,
Nina
January 9, 2013 at 10:40 am
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
No, you're not the only one. But there is little that man has done to merit any respect on this or any other forum. Heh... his problem would be easier if he hadn't elected to use the very 1950's Cobol punched card tape sequence numbering system that he bashes everyone else for using. 😉
Remember what we talked about once? Careful where you knock your ring. 😉
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
January 9, 2013 at 11:51 am
Public Service Announcement:
If you tend to move a lot (say, once every few years), you need to contact UPS and tell them to NOT ship to your old address(es) if something is mislabeled.
The story: I was back east for Christmas with my family, and my suitcase finally bit the dust while in transit. Now, figuring pricing was similar, I shoved it, and my XMas gifts, in two boxes and had my family ship them to me back in AZ.
Now, the neighborhood I live in is not overly wealthy and my sister recently had a problem with 'patrolling thieves' ripping off all the gifts in their neighborhood from porches, so I figure I'll have them make me sign for it. Low and behold, imagine my surprise when I find out they were not only delivered, but some guy named Martinez signed for them! Well, I'm no longer very happy.
I find out that my family mislabeled the labels for Street instead of Place, and no road by that name existed. So they pulled up a THREE YEAR OLD address and delivered there, and had the office manager sign for it! So, not only did I not sign for it (which, in apartment complexes, is not THAT uncommon) but they had someone else sign for it before confirming I even still resided there, when they swapped the address!
So, I'm on the phone and find that UPS policy is to deliver to the last known 'good' address when your name is unique enough. Apparently Craig Farrell is unique enough. So they didn't contact the shipper, they didn't return to shipper, they just shipped my stuff to whatever address looked good! AND HAD THEM SIGN FOR IT!
The HELL?!?!?!? :crazy:
So, you need to contact UPS dispatch IN YOUR AREA. The main office will stonewall you about it being 'policy'. Contact your dispatcher and make sure they NEVER send to an old address. Make them put it on your account for future notice. You will piss them off, but I don't care. They pull this on me again and I'm starting a damned lawsuit for mistreatment of entrusted goods.
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
January 9, 2013 at 11:55 am
Jeff Moden (1/9/2013)
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
No, you're not the only one. But there is little that man has done to merit any respect on this or any other forum. Heh... his problem would be easier if he hadn't elected to use the very 1950's Cobol punched card tape sequence numbering system that he bashes everyone else for using. 😉
Remember what we talked about once? Careful where you knock your ring. 😉
Dwain... maybe.
However, it's Celko. I'd rather kiss cobras then help him out with anything. Like, full french kiss, with tongue, and nibbles.
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
January 9, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
Jeff Moden (1/9/2013)
dwain.c (1/8/2013)
Am I the only one that finds these kinds of SQL puzzles fun?http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1403293-392-1.aspx
Come on! Surely some of you heavyweights can whip up a cool solution to it.
No, you're not the only one. But there is little that man has done to merit any respect on this or any other forum. Heh... his problem would be easier if he hadn't elected to use the very 1950's Cobol punched card tape sequence numbering system that he bashes everyone else for using. 😉
Remember what we talked about once? Careful where you knock your ring. 😉
Dwain... maybe.
However, it's Celko. I'd rather kiss cobras then help him out with anything. Like, full french kiss, with tongue, and nibbles.
funny visual
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
January 9, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Wow. Brain bleach. NOW PLEASE.
January 9, 2013 at 12:26 pm
Brandie Tarvin (1/9/2013)
Wow. Brain bleach. NOW PLEASE.
Yeah, think that violates the SSC heat level index, or whatever the hell that was called
---------------------------------------------------------
How best to post your question[/url]
How to post performance problems[/url]
Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]
"stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."
January 9, 2013 at 12:28 pm
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
Public Service Announcement:If you tend to move a lot (say, once every few years), you need to contact UPS and tell them to NOT ship to your old address(es) if something is mislabeled.
The story: I was back east for Christmas with my family, and my suitcase finally bit the dust while in transit. Now, figuring pricing was similar, I shoved it, and my XMas gifts, in two boxes and had my family ship them to me back in AZ.
Now, the neighborhood I live in is not overly wealthy and my sister recently had a problem with 'patrolling thieves' ripping off all the gifts in their neighborhood from porches, so I figure I'll have them make me sign for it. Low and behold, imagine my surprise when I find out they were not only delivered, but some guy named Martinez signed for them! Well, I'm no longer very happy.
I find out that my family mislabeled the labels for Street instead of Place, and no road by that name existed. So they pulled up a THREE YEAR OLD address and delivered there, and had the office manager sign for it! So, not only did I not sign for it (which, in apartment complexes, is not THAT uncommon) but they had someone else sign for it before confirming I even still resided there, when they swapped the address!
So, I'm on the phone and find that UPS policy is to deliver to the last known 'good' address when your name is unique enough. Apparently Craig Farrell is unique enough. So they didn't contact the shipper, they didn't return to shipper, they just shipped my stuff to whatever address looked good! AND HAD THEM SIGN FOR IT!
The HELL?!?!?!? :crazy:
So, you need to contact UPS dispatch IN YOUR AREA. The main office will stonewall you about it being 'policy'. Contact your dispatcher and make sure they NEVER send to an old address. Make them put it on your account for future notice. You will piss them off, but I don't care. They pull this on me again and I'm starting a damned lawsuit for mistreatment of entrusted goods.
Much good may it do you. The "local" UPS office by me will try to deliver three times without knocking or ringing the bell, then make me drive 20 miles to the dispatch center to pick up my crap. And when I ordered a Giardano's pizza sent to my brother in Houston, his apt complex manager signed for it, then didn't bother delivering it to his actual *apartment* until three days later, by which time it was inedible. I had to spend something like $60 on a damn pizza joke, for nothing.
---------------------------------------------------------
How best to post your question[/url]
How to post performance problems[/url]
Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]
"stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."
January 9, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Shoot, Kraig made me forget what I wanted to let you guys know about. http://www.space.com/19174-mars-one-colony-astronauts-wanted.html
I'd say nominate Celko to get a laugh, but frankly this is one instance where even though it's crazy and I don't really want it, I kinda want it.
---------------------------------------------------------
How best to post your question[/url]
How to post performance problems[/url]
Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]
"stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."
January 9, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Brandie Tarvin (1/9/2013)
Wow. Brain bleach. NOW PLEASE.
Oh, c'mon. I'm not THAT ugly...
*sighs*
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
January 9, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
Brandie Tarvin (1/9/2013)
Wow. Brain bleach. NOW PLEASE.Oh, c'mon. I'm not THAT ugly...
*sighs*
Snake LOVER:alien:
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events
January 9, 2013 at 1:42 pm
SQLRNNR (1/9/2013)
Evil Kraig F (1/9/2013)
Brandie Tarvin (1/9/2013)
Wow. Brain bleach. NOW PLEASE.Oh, c'mon. I'm not THAT ugly...
*sighs*
Snake LOVER:alien:
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
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