Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004343 More actions · Answer 1

GilaMonster (8/24/2012)
Jeff Moden (8/23/2012)
GilaMonster (8/23/2012)
Data archiving. Can't use partition swaps because it's standard edition.
Have you considered partitioned views?
Create a new table every month, alter the view to include that and exclude the oldest month's table? Eeep, no.
Besides, I'm also not allowed to do such a thing because part of their app does schema mods. It wouldn't break with a partitioned table (because that still looks like a table to any tool that doesn't check the location the object is created), but it would if I replaced a view with a table.

I've had pretty good luck with automating such a thing but I also understand why that's not always possible. Thanks for the feedback, Gail.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 2

Jeff Moden (8/24/2012)
GilaMonster (8/24/2012)
Jeff Moden (8/23/2012)
GilaMonster (8/23/2012)
Data archiving. Can't use partition swaps because it's standard edition.
Have you considered partitioned views?
Create a new table every month, alter the view to include that and exclude the oldest month's table? Eeep, no.
Besides, I'm also not allowed to do such a thing because part of their app does schema mods. It wouldn't break with a partitioned table (because that still looks like a table to any tool that doesn't check the location the object is created), but it would if I replaced a view with a table.
I've had pretty good luck with automating such a thing but I also understand why that's not always possible.

I probably could, but it falls into the 'more hassle than it's actually worth' category in this case. Got large enough maintenance window (the entire weekend every weekend) to go the simple and brute force approach.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

RBarryYoung SSC Guru Points: 143329 More actions · Answer 3

Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
1) ...that deep sea creatures stare in fascination at the strange blob that sometimes rises out of the deepest, darkest crevasse in the very bottom of the ocean
2) ...that the project is lodged in the drainage hole in the lowest basement of hell
Any others??
Steve.

One I've used: "This project's priority is lower than the background entropy of the universe. Consequently, I sincerely doubt that it will ever be completed."

[font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung [font="Arial Black"]
Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc. [/font][font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

Evil Kraig F SSC Guru Points: 100851 More actions · Answer 4

Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."

7. ... that it lies at about the ethics level of mortgage lenders.

8. ... that Klingons have a higher rating on the compassion scale.

9. ... it's being piloted by a submarine captain.

10. ... it needs Enzite.

11. ... it got under Hydrogen on the elemental tables.

12. ... it's scoring like a 4th grader doing calculus.

- Craig Farrell

Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.

For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398882 More actions · Answer 5

I completely spaced asking, but who from The Thread is going to be here in OKC for #sqlsat125?

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 6

It's potential energy is negative to the entire universe.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004343 More actions · Answer 7

Evil Kraig F (8/24/2012)
Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
7. ... that it lies at about the ethics level of mortgage lenders.
8. ... that Klingons have a higher rating on the compassion scale.
9. ... it's being piloted by a submarine captain.
10. ... it needs Enzite.
11. ... it got under Hydrogen on the elemental tables.
12. ... it's scoring like a 4th grader doing calculus.

Since I was in the submarine service...

13. ... it's lower than Whale poop in the Marianas.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

CapnHector SSCoach Points: 16143 More actions · Answer 8

Grant Fritchey (8/24/2012)
I completely spaced asking, but who from The Thread is going to be here in OKC for #sqlsat125?

Im going to be at #sqlsat154 in St Louis and am unfortunatly going to miss your presentation on the sept. 11 in St. Louis due to previous engagements. (read Work)

For faster help in answering any problems Please read How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help - Jeff Moden[/url] for the best way to ask your question.

For performance Issues see how we like them posted here: How to Post Performance Problems - Gail Shaw[/url]

Need to Split some strings? Jeff Moden's DelimitedSplit8K[/url]
Jeff Moden's Cross tab and Pivots Part 1[/url]
Jeff Moden's Cross tab and Pivots Part 2[/url]

The Dixie Flatline SSC Guru Points: 53354 More actions · Answer 9

GilaMonster (8/24/2012)
It's potential energy is negative to the entire universe.

WHICH entire universe?

How about:

It's so low that it's at the bottom of every universe in the many-worlds interpretation.

__________________________________________________

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills

Kiara SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4185 More actions · Answer 10

Evil Kraig F (8/24/2012)
Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
7. ... that it lies at about the ethics level of mortgage lenders.
8. ... that Klingons have a higher rating on the compassion scale.
9. ... it's being piloted by a submarine captain.
10. ... it needs Enzite.
11. ... it got under Hydrogen on the elemental tables.
12. ... it's scoring like a 4th grader doing calculus.

Y'all are making my morning. I have a couple of these issues sitting out there waiting for some attention. Thought I was going to actually tackle one of them today.

Until an email from one of our C-suite folks showed up in my inbox last night. 🙂

-Ki

Paul White SSC Guru Points: 150467 More actions · Answer 11

Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."

14... It has the Planck priority, P_P

Paul White
SQLPerformance.com
SQLkiwi blog
@SQL_Kiwi

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 12

Yes, they are. http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1350342-1549-1.aspx

Unless it's a language problem, he's a consultant or contractor. Either the client's asking for something that is not in his listed skills or....

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173061 More actions · Answer 13

Hey, all. Have you seen this article about autism?

Autism & Immunity Disorders

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Fal Hall of Fame Points: 3143 More actions · Answer 14

SQL Kiwi (8/27/2012)
Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
14... It has the Planck priority, P_P

All the Universe-related quips have inspired me:

"...that even Stephen Hawking doubts time exists for it."

Steve.

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173061 More actions · Answer 15

Fal (8/27/2012)
SQL Kiwi (8/27/2012)
Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
14... It has the Planck priority, P_P
All the Universe-related quips have inspired me:
"...that even Stephen Hawking doubts time exists for it."

HA! I like that one.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.